Before you get to a contract for a scene or in a relationship dynamic it is important to understand how to make Rules and how to give Orders. The entire concept of the D/s dynamic is a relationship built around a ruleset. Within a play scene as long as the rule won’t undermine your authority, makes logical sense, and is created with a purpose, you’re good to go.

While all toys are for trans folks (because anyone can use any toy with themselves and others), there are some toys that are specifically great for trans folks: specifically, toys that are gender-affirming, both in everyday use and in play. You can check out all the toys mentioned using our SheVibe affiliate link: https://shevibe.com/?rfsn=4817860.3efcec

A kink checklist is usually suitable for scene play and for very new or short-term relationships. For a longer-term relationship that involves a dynamic it's a good idea that all persons involved know each other on a more intimate basis. Here are some medical and health questions to help in your negotiations.

Happy New Year 2023 from BDSM United Podcast!! Here is an episode I recorded a few weeks ago on this relevant topic of BDSM and Kink resolutions and setting goals.

Negotiating a relationship is similar to negotiating a scene. Both come after a potential partner is vetted. Negotiations for a play scene are usually short conversations that happen before you meet for the actual play scene. However negotiating a relationship is a series of longer conversations that happen when a couple decides to consider a power exchange dynamic (such as D/s).

While it is more common these days for Dominant/submissive couples to have Top/bottom kinky play, the 1950's head-of-household style D/s relationship is an example of D/s without the T/b. In addition to no kink, some D/s relationships are not sexual either. Top and bottom are different than Dominant and Submissive. Therefore we can stop relating them to one another because ultimately we are making it even more difficult to learn their meanings by doing so.

When people ask how to become involved in kink or how to learn, the first thing they are told is “go to a munch!” Munches are a great first step, but like all first steps, they can be intimidating if you don’t know what to expect or how to behave. Munches are a key part of the BDSM community. It is where people go to meet other kinksters, see old friends and to establish themselves in their local community.

Today we want to jump back in time and share a snapshot from our past. Perhaps this is a bit of a romanticized look at the identity of a Master, you be the judge. But before we had Mottos like RACK and Safe, Sane, and Consensual there were Creeds such as these. They weren't necessarily better, they were just from a different era.