“That’s about the stupidest idea I’ve heard all day.”

The distinguished professors discuss the Roger Corman-produced Alien-knockoff The Dingwhopper – oops, it’s actually called Forbidden World. Topics include the magic of Jim Wynorski, the dingwhopper’s unfortunate resemblance to Audrey II, competent set design and lighting, the ubiquity of footage from Battle Beyond the Stars, the patience of Alien, the epistemological problems posed by random flashbacks, the lies told by the movie poster, the dinner scene from Alien (and Spaceballs), eating while covered in alien biohazards, Underalls and plastic stripper heels, onanistic whirligigs, lack of sense of space/ place, the steam bath and yellowish-tinted shower scenes, the weird role of sex and nudity here, the wistful diegetic sounds of the space clarinet, the mistakes of taking the movie outside and showing the monster too much, Dead Space and Marc Singer, and the ultimate test of visual storytelling: being able to understand a movie with the sound off.

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Music credits:

"Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

“We call it a fundamental design constraint.”

The distinguished professors discuss the Dorothy Stratton vehicle Galaxina and Sci Fi Channel airtime-filler The Cold Equations. Topics include the Star Wars title crawl done wrong, what makes parody fail, an attempt at explaining Galaxina’s overly complicated plot, why Galaxina is called Galaxina, the proper mood for bad movies, the hidden dumbness of the ethical conundrum at the core of The Cold Equations, the centrality of snow to Hallmark Channel movies, the damage caused by relying too much on dialogue to establish plot, the budget-friendliness of the bottle episode, The Cold Equations as a potential play, really bad nineties TV CGI, the addition of a corporate bad guy to The Cold Equations, the necessity of taking time to establish psychological tension between characters, violations of the 180-degree rule, the epithet “space honkey,” whether some of these movies would be better if they had been shot in the 1950s or 1960s, the Batmobile, and the smoldering competence of Dorothy Stratton.

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Music credits:

"Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

“Imperial battleship, HALT THE FLOW OF TIME!”

The distinguished professors discuss the origins and scope of season 1 of the podcast. We start with our beloved Star Wars-derivative Starcrash and discuss where we think the filmmakers decided to steal their ideas, their intended level of seriousness, multicolored stars in comic books, the problems posed by time stopping and time reversal, Stella Starr’s fetish wardrobe, the enigma of Acton, the Amazon queen’s murky motivations, Christopher Plummer’s literal dramatic turn, difficulty in keeping track of this film’s MacGuffins, and why Star Wars works and Starcrash doesn’t.

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Music credits:

"Laser Groove" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/