Becoming Disciples

As we continue the sex series, we wanted to discuss how to establish boundaries in dating and why it's important to do so. There are so many questions about what's ok and what's not ok and how you actually live out your standards. In this episode we go over five thoughts on pursuing purity.

1. Know the "why" of purity. The motivation for your behavior should always be to honor God. Of course obedience also brings blessings and benefits for you.
2. Be accountable.  You should have someone who will check up on how you are doing. You should also be able to take your struggles and questions to them.
3. Purity is about the heart, not a list of rules. While there are basic clear-cut guidelines most of this journey will involve growing closer to God and listening to Him speak. You can't make your personal standards a line to judge others.
4. Virginity doesn't equal purity. You can still be pure after you've lost your virginity and you are still pure once you're married and no longer a virgin.
5. Ask "how holy can I be?" instead of "how far can I go?".  The question should always be "will this activity help me honor God?" This will also depends on the limits of the person you are dating.

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This week we are covering the last two of our five myths about sex. (Go back and listen to last week's episode if you haven't!) Then we move into a discussion about sex in marriage.

Myths 4 and 5

Myth 4: Babies ruin your sex life.

• Entering parenthood can increase intimacy which improves sex.
• Sex can become a way to connect amidst the demands of parenting

Myth 5: Married sex is boring.

• Marriage is God's context for sex.
• As you grow closer in marriage, you can grow closer sexually.

Marriage and Sex

1. Honeymoon sex is not the best sex.
   • The honeymoon is not the culmination of your romance; it's the beginning.
2. How you view your body affects your sex life.
   • Having a low body-esteem will affect your sex life negatively.
3. Emotional intimacy can be a product of sexual intimacy.
   • Your sex life is a journey.
4. Marriage is the place for a guilt-free sexual fulfillment.

Guidelines for what's "not okay" even in marriage.

• Anything that involves another person.
• Anything that demeans or hurts either the husband or the wife.
• Anything that causes a physical or emotional issue with either person.
• Anything against the will of the husband or wife.

You can't believe what Hollywood and secular sources have to say about something that God designed when they aren't using it the way that He intended.

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This week we are starting our discussion about sex because, for the most part, the world talks about sex and no one else does. There should be a Christian message about sex because God designed it.

God's design for sex:

• spiritual, emotional, physical intimacy
• context of marriage
• discussed in appropriate, respectful ways

1. Myth 1: Sex is dirty. 
   • stems from a desire to discourage immorality
   • typically a female issue
   • God made sex and He is holy. Sex in God's context is also holy. 
   • perspective on sex must change even if you are single
2. Myth 2: Sex is for men. 
   • God designed sex for women too. 
   • Sex is not a duty. 
   • Read Song of Solomon
3. Myth 3: Women don't enjoy or want sex. 
   • Women have more complicated sex drives than men. 
   • God designed women to enjoy sex.
   • Sex is not a duty. (Did we say that already?)

We're coming back next week with two more myths but the major thought is that how you think about sex matters. If your sexuality is a burden as a single person, sex becomes a burden after marriage. If your sexuality is something to flaunt then it ceases to be precious and private. 

Resources: 

• To Love, Honor, and Vacuum
• Hot, Holy, Humorous
• The Marriage Bed

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We're both big believers in what's now known as the "side hustle." Phy's was a source of fulfillment while she worked an unfulfilling job and Lisa has blogged since her oldest son was almost one. But side hustles can be a lot of different things and sometimes you can convince yourself you don't have time for one. (Hint: you probably do.)

1. What is a side hustle? 
   • product of passion and producer of purpose
2. Prioritizing a side hustle
   • comes after our relationship with God, marriage, and children
   • evaluate schedule and find a time
3. Practical tips for a side hustle
   • don't do anything while kids are sleeping that you can do while they are awake
   • have a plan for your work time
   • don't waste time
   • use your freedom- change your side hustle when you need to
   • get outside your box- don't be afraid to start something new

Grow as a person and you'll be a better wife, mom, sister, daughter, and employee.

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This week we are talking about ten of our favorite things! Our typical topics are serious and somewhat heavy so we like to throw in some fun conversations occasionally so you can get to know us and we can get your feedback on the questions and know you better too. So ten of our favorites in random categories. 

Favorite Podcast

• P- Happier with Gretchen Rubin
• L- Elise Gets Crafty

Favorite Book (of the moment)

• P- Anne of the Island by L.M. Montgomery
• L- Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist
• Shoutouts to We Laugh, We Cry, We Cook, My Life from Scratch, My Life in France, Anne of Green Gables series, Harry Potter

Favorite Date Experience

• P- Five Guys and pedicure (recent)
• L- UT basketball game (future)

Favorite TV Show: 

• P- NCIS
• L- Psych
• Shoutouts to Lie to Me, The Mentalist, Person of Interest

Favorite Songs:

• P- "Ever Be"- Bethel Music, "Thinking Out Loud"- Ed Sheeran
• L- "Come Thou Fount," "The Nearness of You"- Norah Jones
• Shoutout to "All of Me"- John Legend

Favorite Food

• P- New Mexican
• L- Mexican

Favorite Clothing Item

• P- black zumba pants
• L- high heels

Favorite Drink

• P- Trim Healthy Mama iced coffee
• L- Iced Coffee, Caramel Frappucino

Favorite Theological Resources

• P- Strong's concordance
• L- Journaling Bible 

Favorite Morning Activity

• P- Reading 
• L- Writing

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This week we're talking about myths of motherhood. Not all of them-  we narrowed it down to four to discuss in this episode. Motherhood gets an unbalanced portrayal in our culture and we try to add some balance from our experience and what we've learned from other women.

1. You'll never sleep again. Or shower. Why do all pregnant women hear this? You will sleep, maybe not as much but you will sleep. And you can certainly squeeze in a shower.
2. Your body will be ruined. Your body is a tool that allows you to serve God; it's not a showplace. Also your body is going to change even if you don't have kids.
3. You'll lose your identity. Child-centric homes and families benefit no one. There is room for you to still be a person in motherhood; it will actually make you a better mom.
4. You can control the outcome. We birth little sinners. We do our part to model and teach but eventually our children will make their own decisions. Just like we grew up and started making our own.

Motherhood might be harder than you think but it can also be better than you might think.

Resources:

• Inspired to Action podcast with Kat Lee
• Glimpses of Grace by Gloria Furman
• Sally Clarkson- books and podcast
• Overwhelmed by Brigid Schulte

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This week we are talking about the ways we speak truth over ourselves instead of just believing the first thing we think. We're going to use the word "affirmations" but don't get all worked up, we're only talking about our own special phrases that we use to keep ourselves in line.

1. Why it matters:  You live out the story you tell yourself in your mind.
   • Psalm 15:2
   • Philippians 4:8
   • Proverbs 18:21
2. Our "affirmations"
   • Act how you want to feel
   • This is my dream job and I love you
   • Take the fun with you
   • I feel energetic and excited about today
   • "If I were a doctor" scenario
   • I am a Proverbs 31 woman and homeschool mama
3. How to create your own
   • line up with Scripture
   • start with your struggles and identify the truth
   • avoid secular ideologies

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Whether it's a sin issue or a practical matter, failure is

Uniquely

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Every woman struggles with insecurity in some area of her life. In this week's episode we discuss areas where we feel insecure and how we tackle gaining confidence in a world of body culture and Pinterest perfection. Confidence is something you can have- and not because you are the best at anything. 

In this episode we break down: 

Resource: Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George

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Emotional self control is a little discussed facet of being a strong woman. Being able to boss yourself around instead of being led by how you feel will make you a more joyful woman and allow you to better serve those around you. But how do you start this? It's a process and we're going to break it down for you.

First three facts about emotions:

Then three practical steps for being in charge of your emotions:

Bible References:

Jeremiah 17:9
Proverbs 16:32
Proverbs 25:28
Ephesians 3:16
Psalm 138:3

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