💬 Episode Overview

What if your anger wasn’t a problem, but a pointer? In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the truth about hidden anger and resentment — especially the kind we’ve been taught to ignore or hide. If you’ve ever felt guilty for feeling angry, or you’ve been stuffing it down for so long that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore… this one's for you.

We talk about the gift of anger, how Jesus and Moses both expressed it, and how suppressing it can lead to depression, emotional disconnection, and even damage our relationships. You’ll walk away with practical, healthy, and godly ways to process and release anger — and maybe even start your healing journey today.

🕰️ Time Stamps

1:15 – Intro: What comes to mind when you hear the word anger?

1:40 – The 8 core feelings (Chip Dodd – Voice of the Heart)

1:55 – Anger as a God-given gift: It reveals our passion

2:30 – Biblical examples of godly anger: Jesus & Moses

3:13 – The danger of stuffing anger: emotional numbness & depression

4:10– My personal story with hidden anger and the healing process

6:20 – Are you hiding anger? Or exploding it?

6:28 - What about going to bed angry? (Ephesians 4:26 & Psalm 4:4)

7:00 – Plane analogy: Quick vs. slow processors of conflict

8:02 – Balloon analogy: What are you doing with your anger?

8:34 – Helping teens (or yourself) express anger in healthy ways

9:08 – DIY rage room ideas + physical ways to release anger

11:48 – Journaling prompts + what your anger is trying to tell you

12:35 – The power of forgiveness: Resentment keeps you stuck

13:08 – Resources & Choose Life Challenge

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Anger is not a sin — it’s a signal that points to your passion, purpose, and values. Sometimes angry behaviors can be sinful, but the feeling itself is not sin.
• All emotions, including anger, were created by God and are good.
• Suppressing anger can lead to depression, disconnection, and emotional numbness.
• You can express anger in healthy and godly ways — verbally, physically, and creatively.
• Forgiveness is one of the most powerful ways to release hidden anger and resentment.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

• Book: The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd
• Episode 20: How to forgive and start healing
• How to Find a Christian Counselor: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor
• Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter: Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

💬 Episode Summary:

Do you love Jesus but still feel anxious all the time? You're not alone. In today’s episode, we’re talking about the unspoken struggles many Christian women face—like fear, overwhelm, and emotional exhaustion—and the 3 root lies anxiety whispers that keep us stuck.

We’ll look at what God says instead, how to start shifting your focus from fear to freedom, and why knowing God by His names might just change everything.

Whether you battle fear of failure, fear of the future, or fear of not being enough—this is for you.

⏱️ Time Stamps:

1:15 – Welcome + A message to the silently struggling

1:49 – Why we need to talk about what’s not talked about in church

2:18 – The 3 root fears anxiety feeds off of (based on Ed Welch’s Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest)

4:35 – 3 lies anxiety tells you (and how to recognize them in your own life)

7:24 – How hard things shape our beliefs—and how lies take root

7:42 – Replacing lies with truth (Christian CBT + Scripture)

9:39 – Names of God that speak directly to your fears

11:54 – Practical challenge: 4 steps to stop the spiral

13:28 – Final encouragement + what’s coming next on the BU Podcast

✨ Key Takeaways:

• Anxiety often stems from 3 root fears: Death/Harm, Judgment/Rejection, and Fear of the Future
• These fears manifest as lies: “I’m not safe,” “I’m not enough,” “I’m alone—it’s all up to me”
• God speaks truth over every lie: You are safe in His presence, enough in Christ, and never alone
• Knowing God by His names can reshape how you experience fear and anxiety
• Practical steps: identify the lie, speak the truth, renounce the lie, replace it with Scripture

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

• Running Scared by Ed Welch
• Names of God published by The Daily Grace Co.: https://thedailygraceco.com/products/the-names-of-god-handbook
• How to Find a Christian Counselor: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor
• Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter: Https://shelleyspence.com

💌 Connect:

If this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend or leave a review—it helps more women find freedom in Christ.

Follow along on Instagram @becoming_unhindered for encouragement between episodes. 💛

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

💡 Episode Overview:

In today’s episode, I’m diving into one of the most important skills for lifelong mental and spiritual health: the ability to self-soothe—but not in the way the world teaches. We’re talking about what it means to quiet your soul in God’s presence, and I’ll share a powerful, Biblical, and practical tool you can use to retrain your brain to run to Jesus in both the highs and lows of life. Whether you’re overwhelmed, overjoyed, or just overstimulated by life, this is for you.

⏱️ Time Stamps:

01:18 – Welcome + Why this topic matters now

01:53 – What is self-soothing and why it’s essential

02:25 – The chaos of modern life and our desperate need for soul rest

02:39 – What the Bible says about calming ourselves (Psalm 131 + 62)

03:05 – Common “false rest” habits and how they fail us

03:44 – How Moses found calm in God’s presence

04:52 – Introducing the Biblical tool: The Immanuel Approach

05:54 – Step-by-step guide to the practice

07:05 – Why this practice helps train your brain to rest in God

07:26 – When and how to use this tool throughout your day

07:46 – Final encouragement + invitation to practice with Jesus

✅ Key Takeaways:

• Self-soothing is a skill we can train, and God has already equipped us for it.
• The Bible models emotional regulation through God’s presence—not distraction or escape.
• Psalm 131:2 teaches us that we can calm and quiet our own souls with God's help.
• The Immanuel Approach is a simple 2-step practice rooted in gratitude and connection with Jesus. I learned it from Jim Wilder.
• The more we practice this, the more natural it becomes to run to God instead of false comforts.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

In this honest and heartfelt episode, I’m opening up about how I’m personally navigating a season full of life transitions — from my youngest heading off to college to embracing new spiritual rhythms and community connections.

Whether you’re heading off to college, sending your child off to kindergarten, starting a new job, adjusting to a new school year, or simply feeling the weight of change, this conversation is for you.

We’ll explore how to process transition through a biblical lens — with practical tools, emotional honesty, and spiritual encouragement to help you move forward with intention, grace, and faith.

01:11 – Welcome + intro to this season of life transitions

01:30 – Isaiah 43:19: “Behold I’m doing a new thing…”

01:42 – My personal story: new rhythms, empty nest, new community

02:05 – Common life transitions many listeners are facing right now

02:28 – Why your emotions during transition matter

02:45 – What your feelings are trying to tell you (and how to listen)

03:45 – How gratitude and journaling help you process change

04:30 – Letting yourself grieve, pause, and celebrate without guilt

05:22 – Evaluating your plate: what needs to shift in this season?

05:50 – Becoming more aware of God’s presence (Jehovah Shammah)

06:50 – Rebuilding community after a season of isolation

07:59 – Choose Life Challenge – 6 intentional practices to try

• You’re not alone in life transitions. Whether it’s career, school, or personal growth, seasons of change are part of the journey — and you don’t have to face them alone.
• Emotions are messengers, not enemies. Learn how to address grief, anxiety, and excitement in healthy, God-honoring ways.
• Faith-centered reflection matters. Daily gratitude, journaling, and prayer help anchor you in God’s presence during times of uncertainty.
• Make space for intentional living. Evaluate your current season: what needs to be added, removed, or adjusted?
• God is always present in the unknown. Discover how His peace and presence can ground you in the midst of transition.
• Community brings strength. Don't underestimate the power of connection, support, and spiritual growth through meaningful relationships.
• Take one small step today. Simple, daily practices can help you walk through change with purpose and peace.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

If this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with a friend or on social media. We grow stronger together — especially in seasons of change.

Follow the show and leave a review to help more women like you find biblical encouragement for every season of life.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

✨ Sneak Peek:

Is your heart feeling disconnected from God? Are anxiety, overthinking, or spiritual dryness creeping in? In this episode, I guide you through a powerful exercise I use with Christian clients, church members, and friends to help restore intimacy with the Lord. Rooted in biblical truth and influenced by Freedom Prayer, Immanuel Approach, and other inner healing models, this simple practice can help you hear His voice, sense His nearness, and identify what’s standing in the way of deeper connection.

Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, spiritual numbness, or just want to feel closer to Jesus—you’re invited to pause and meet Him right here.

🕰️ Timestamps:

1:29 – Intro: Why this exercise matters in your walk with God

2:22– The link between spiritual distance and emotional symptoms (anxiety, overthinking, etc.)

3:11 – What Scripture says about God's presence: joy, rest, boldness, freedom

3:34 – Guided exercise: meeting with Jesus

5:29 – What if you don’t feel or see anything? Why that’s okay (and what to ask instead)

5:57 – Roadblocks to intimacy: unforgiveness, lies, sin—and biblical ways to remove them

8:15 – Discerning the real Jesus vs. “fake Jesus” shaped by wounds or false beliefs

9:19 – Using this tool as a foundation for deeper work

9:55 – Final encouragement: Jesus is ready to meet you. Are you ready to come close?

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• Spiritual distance from God often leads to mental and emotional symptoms—but it doesn’t have to stay that way.
• God’s presence brings joy, rest, freedom, and strength. You were made to dwell in it.
• This simple Jesus-encounter exercise can help you discern His nearness, hear His voice, and notice what may be standing in the way.
• Unforgiveness, ungodly beliefs, and unconfessed sin are common barriers—but the Bible offers clear pathways to healing.
• If your image of Jesus doesn’t align with Matthew 11:28–30, it might be a false view shaped by past wounds—not the real Jesus. Scripture helps re-align your perspective.
• Asking “What” questions instead of “Why” often opens the door for God to reveal truth, healing, and breakthrough.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

Keys to Freedom by Mercy Multiplied

Freedom Tools by Andy Reece

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

BecomingUnhindered.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Are you repeating patterns from your family without even realizing it?

In this powerful episode, we dive into generational patterns—the behaviors, beliefs, habits, and emotional cycles passed down through your family line. From addiction and anger to faith, generosity, and work ethic, we explore how these inherited traits shape your life... and how to break the negative ones and build a healthier legacy.

Whether you come from a deeply broken family or one that looks picture-perfect from the outside, every family passes on both negative and positive patterns. And the good news? With God's help, you can choose what continues—and what ends with you.

⏱️ Timestamps:

0:20 – What if your habits aren’t just yours?

01:21 – What are generational patterns (definition + examples)

02:04 – This isn’t about blaming your parents—it’s about freedom

02:33 – Adopted or unsure of your history? Here’s how to start

03:19 – Identifying and growing the positive patterns in your family

04:59 – Recognizing common negative family cycles

05:53 – How to break unhealthy generational patterns (practical + spiritual tools)

07:29 – Real-life story: breaking a legacy of criticism

08:22 – What it means to be a transitional generation

09:42 – Choose Life Challenge: Start changing your legacy today

✅ Key Takeaways:

• Generational patterns are passed down through families—both good and bad.
• You can honor your family while still breaking destructive cycles.
• If you’re adopted or disconnected from your history, you can still identify and heal patterns through prayer and reflection.
• Don’t overlook generational blessings—amplify and pass them on!
• Use prayer, confession, and intentional choices to break negative spiritual and behavioral patterns.
• You have the authority in Christ to say: “This ends with me.”

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

Keys to Freedom by Mercy Multiplied

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

🎧 Listen now to discover how to take inventory, choose life, and transform the legacy you leave behind—for yourself, your children, and generations to come.

🎧 Sneak Peak:

In this episode, we're diving deep into the healing power of forgiveness. Is it really possible to forgive someone who hurt you deeply? Does forgiving mean forgetting?

We explore myths that keep people stuck in bitterness, unpack biblical truth about forgiveness, and share a powerful red felt activity from author Lisa TerKeurst that will shift how you see the process of letting go.

⏱ Episode Time Stamps:

01:14 – Intro & Why Forgiveness Matters

02:10 – Forgiveness Impacts our Health

03:02 – Common Myths About Forgiveness (Debunked!)

06:40 – What the Bible Really Says About Forgiveness

07:26 – Forgiving the Fact and the Impact

08:36 – Lisa TerKeurst’s Red Felt Forgiveness Activity

11:42 – Choose Life Challenge for This Week

12:14 - Final Thoughts: Forgiving Ourselves, Forgiving God

✅ Key Takeaways:

• Forgiveness is not about excusing someone else’s behavior—it’s about freeing yourself from bitterness.
• Forgiveness doesn’t always equal reconciliation, and it doesn’t mean pretending the hurt didn’t happen.
• Myths like “forgive and forget” or “time heals all wounds” can prevent true healing.
• Scripture consistently calls believers to forgive, not because it’s easy, but because it reflects God's grace.
• Lisa TerKeurst’s red felt activity powerfully illustrates how forgiveness is a layered, often ongoing process—one that God honors even when it doesn’t feel complete.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

💬 Mentioned in This Episode:

• Lisa TerKeurst – “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget”
• Key Scriptures: Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 18:21–22, Colossians 3:13
• John Hopkins article on forgiveness study: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it
• How to Find a Christian Counselor: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor
• Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter: Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

📌 Episode Description:

What do you do when life knocks the wind out of you—through trauma, grief, a painful memory, or something you never saw coming?

In this episode, we explore four simple but powerful questions to help you start processing pain and walking toward healing.

These trauma-informed tools can help bring clarity when your mind feels scattered.

Whether you’ve experienced a recent crisis or an old wound keeps resurfacing, this episode offers a gentle, practical guide to start making sense of the hurt—and hearing what God may want you to know in the midst of it.

🎧 Listen in and learn:

• How trauma affects memory and emotional processing
• 4 healing questions to guide yourself (or someone else) through pain
• Why asking “Why?” keeps us stuck—and the better question to ask
• A powerful reminder of God’s goodness, even in suffering

⏱️ Timestamps:

01:03 – Episode intro: When life comes out of nowhere

01:40 – What inspired this episode

02:12 – Trauma, memory, and why our brains feel scattered

03:01 – Question #1: What happened?

03:21 – Question #2: How did you feel?

04:44 – Question #3: What was the hardest part for you?

05:41 – Why “why” questions can keep us stuck

06:12 – Bonus Question: God, what do You want me to know about this?

07:01 – A note on spiritual healing and God’s character

08:21 – Final encouragement and how to use these questions in real life

🧠 Key Takeaways

• Trauma scatters the brain. Simple, clear questions help organize and name what happened.
• Naming emotions matters. You can’t heal what you don’t name.
• Getting to the hardest part reveals deeper fears—like abandonment, shame, or helplessness.
• “Why?” isn’t always helpful. Asking God, “What do You want me to know?” invites healing insight.
• God is not the source of our pain, but He is always present and able to heal it.

Next Episode:

We're unpacking myths of forgiveness and giving you a simple framework to finally let it go!

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

Trauma Healing Institute:

https://www.traumahealingbasics.org/three-questions

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck!

In this episode, we dig into the “trunk” of your life—the beliefs that fuel your everyday behaviors.

If you’ve ever struggled with thoughts like “I’m not enough” or “I’ll always be anxious,” this one’s for you.

You’ll learn a simple but powerful, faith-based tool to identify and replace toxic beliefs with truth from God’s Word.

Get ready to renew your mind, shift your behaviors, and grow healthier “branches” in your life tree.

Grab a journal (or your favorite note app)—and maybe your most dramatic pen—because we’re going deep and practical.

TIMESTAMPS

01:12 – Welcome + quick recap of the “tree” life analogy

01:33 – The trunk = beliefs; why they matter more than we realize

01:48 – Identifying toxic beliefs and the role of repeated thoughts

02:12 – The “lie test”: does it align with God’s Word?

02:44 – Step-by-step tool for renewing your mind

04:01 – How to use Scripture to replace lies

05:17 – Why speaking truth out loud matters

06:21 – The 21-day challenge to rewire your thought life

07:43 – An example for you: sharing a lie of my own that I'm replacing

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Your behavior is rooted in belief. If you want lasting change, address the “trunk.”
• Lies often sound true when repeated. Pay attention to your thought loops and spoken words.
• Test your thoughts against Scripture. If it doesn’t align with God’s Word—or feels off when you add “in Jesus’ name” to the end—it’s probably a lie.
• Use your voice. Combat negative thoughts not just by thinking differently, but by speaking truth out loud.
• Daily repetition builds new belief. Practice speaking personalized Scripture truths for 21 days and watch how your inner narrative shifts.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

Keys to Freedom Study:

https://a.co/d/iyfE6Dd

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Behind the polished exterior and daily routines, many of us are fighting private emotional and spiritual battles—longing for healing, comfort, identity, and significance.

But instead of turning to Jesus, we often run to coping mechanisms like food, relationships, work, or addiction.

In this powerful episode, we explore how true freedom comes through complete surrender, and how to identify and release the “crutches” that may be holding you back.

Whether you’ve tried counseling that left your faith out of the process or are searching Scripture for answers but still feel stuck—this episode offers a life-changing invitation to surrender and experience deep, lasting healing.

TIMESTAMPS

• 01:14 – Introduction: The hidden struggle behind the smile
• 02:10 – First step in healing
• 03:20 – Emotional needs: identity, comfort, security, significance
• 03:34 – Common coping mechanisms we run to instead of Christ
• 04:19 – The spiritual consequence of relying on substitutes
• 04:47 – Biblical examples of full surrender: Elisha, Peter & Andrew
• 05:40 – Reflective questions: What are you holding back from God?
• 06:37 – Quick Recap
• 06:57 – Final encouragement: Choose Life Challenge
• 07:44 - Is surrender to the Lord a new concept for you?

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Many emotional and spiritual struggles remain hidden behind outward strength and busyness.
• We all desire deep needs—comfort, security, significance—but often seek them in unhealthy or incomplete ways.
• Coping mechanisms can become emotional and spiritual “crutches” that prevent us from fully leaning on Jesus.
• Surrender is not just a one-time event; it’s a daily decision to trust God fully, in every area of life.
• True freedom and healing are only found when we let go of substitutes and choose full dependence on Christ.
• Biblical surrender is often radical and without a backup plan—just wholehearted trust.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

Keys to Freedom Study by Mercy Multiplied

DISCOVER:

https://discover.lwf.org/3-circles/#design

https://www.lwf.org/discover-jesus

https://www.gotquestions.org/take-up-your-cross.htmlHow to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.