Becoming Unhindered

In this episode, we’re diving into what it really means to choose life—even in the middle of discouragement, anxiety, or hidden struggles. I’m sharing a personal story from the past two weeks... and what helped me get unstuck and find joy again.

You’ll hear:

• The sneaky ways we can choose "death" in our thoughts and habits
• What choosing life looks like practically (hint: it's NOT simply pretending everything’s fine)
• What it means to choose life spiritually, according to Deuteronomy 30:15-16

💌 Don’t miss the special surprise at the end of the episode just for listeners!

TIMESTAMPS

[01:12] Inspo for today's topic

[01:55] Ways we inadvertently choose "death"

[02:21] Personal story

[04:13] Choosing Life is not toxic positivity or "pretending" everything's fine

[05:15] Practical ways to choose life in thoughts, habits, and everyday situations

[09:32] What we need to know about choosing life spiritually...especially if feeling weighed down or missing joy or intimacy with God

[10:39] Choose Life Challenge

[11:30] Free Surprise!!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

With depressive thoughts, listen to a few sad songs to connect with how you're feeling, but don't stay there for hours. Increase the beat a bit and consider incorporating more positive music as the playlist goes on...might even try worship music.

We do the opposite of what fear tells us to do. If fear tells us to hide and avoid, then we choose to go and be seen.

Choosing life is choosing to bring hidden habits and sins into the light.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

Download your FREE Choose Life: Journaling Guide:

cheerful-founder-6991.kit.com/chooselife

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

We'll answer the question: How do I know if it's God's voice or the enemy's or my own?

Until then, I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

In today’s episode, we explore how to support a friend or teen who comes to you with something big on their heart. Whether it's a personal crisis, emotional struggle, or tough decision, the way you respond can make all the difference.

We dive into four key steps you can take to help someone feel seen, heard, and valued. From the most important thing you can do when they first open up, to how to encourage and validate them without saying the wrong thing, we cover the essentials of being there for someone in need.

But we don’t stop there—when the situation requires more than just listening, we also talk about how to guide them with practical and spiritual steps, and how to know when it’s time to refer them to outside help.

If you’ve ever wondered how to support someone through a tough time, or even if you’re unsure what to say when someone opens up to you, this episode is for you.

Tune in to discover the simple yet powerful steps to truly be there for someone—without feeling overwhelmed or saying the wrong thing.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:19] 4 Essential steps to supporting someone in need

[01:34] Listen

[02:10] Listening Tips

[02:35] Encourage

[02:53] 2 Phrases to avoid

[04:15] When you're unsure how to help or support

[04:30] Guide them to their next step

[05:50] When to refer for outside help

[06:44] Tip for finding professionals to refer

[07:20] Next Right Step Challenge

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Four Key steps: Listen, Encourage, Guide, Refer

People value listening over lectures.

The way you feel today is not the way it will always feel.

Recognize your limits and seek help from others when the situation is life-threatening or involves life-controlling issues.

You don't have to have all the answers to be a safe space for your friends, coworkers, & family members.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for the Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

Lifeline Crisis Hotline: 800-273-TALK (8255)

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

In today's episode, we’re diving into something powerful: the connection between sex, the brain, and intimacy. We’re talking about so much more than just intercourse. I’ll share insights into the brain chemicals involved in sexual activity and how they impact not only your relationships, but also your mental and spiritual health. Join me as we unpack the science behind physical intimacy.

TIMESTAMPS

[02:38] How your brain responds to sexual intimacy

[03:13] The role of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin

[07:54] Brain science and pornography

[08:13] What this means for your relationships and future connections

[08:30] A biblical perspective on flourishing and thriving in this area

[13:57] Next Right Step Challenge

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Dopamine is the "feel-good" chemical in your brain. It’s responsible for the high you feel after a fun activity—whether that’s dancing, accomplishing a goal, or yes, even sexual activity.
• Oxytocin is the "bonding" chemical in a woman's brain that creates a sense of connection to others.
• If you're worried you've already ruined your life, know that your brain was created with the capacity to change and can learn new patterns and habits.
• Healing is possible...even for unwanted sexual activity.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Much of the content for this episode was adapted from Pepperdine University's Relationship IQ curriculum. See link below for more information.

LINKS

Relationship IQ

https://boonecenter.pepperdine.edu/relationship-iq/

Freedom Tools Book by Andy Reese and Jennifer Barnett

https://a.co/d/5ehVS7j

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN.ORG)

800-656-HOPE (4673)

How to Find a Christian Counselor

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://becomingunhindered.com

NEXT EPISODE:

We're discussing the ins and outs of helping a friend who's struggling or in crisis...including what not to say! You won't wanna miss it!

Until then, I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

In today's episode, we dive into one powerful biblical strategy for overcoming anxiety. Anxiety can creep into our lives in many ways, and the key is realizing that while we can't control everything that happens to us, we can choose how to respond.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:22] The many ways anxiety enters our lives

[02:10] Biblical worldview lens of anxious thoughts

[02:33] We have a choice!

[02:56] Road map to fight back: a faith-based exercise

[06:22] Encouragement about anxiety

[07:44] Next Right Step Challenge for the week

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Anxiety's Origins: Recognizing its source can help in overcoming it.
• Biblical Worldview: We have a choice in how we respond to anxious thoughts. We don’t have to let them control us!
• Rejecting Anxiety: Thoughts are uninvited, but we can choose which ones to accept. We can reject anxious thoughts before they multiply.
• Using Scripture to Fight Back: One powerful tool to combat anxiety is using Scripture. We explore Philippians 4:6-7 as a practical roadmap to handle anxious thoughts.
• It’s not a one-time fix but a continuous, faithful process.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

In today’s episode, we’re diving into a topic many of us face: burnout — a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. Whether you're juggling work, school, family, or personal struggles, burnout can sneak up on you when you’re stretched too thin. We’ll talk about common signs, a biblical perspective, and practical strategies to overcome it. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, disengaged, or like you’re running on empty, this episode is for you.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:30] What burnout is and what causes it

[02:00] Signs to watch out for

[03:01] Why this matters spiritually

[04:57] Practical tip for burnout

[05:48] Next Right Step Challenge

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Burnout signs: Emotional numbness, irritability, feeling overwhelmed, and physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues are all signals to pay attention to.
• Spiritual insight: When you feel burned out, you may be carrying more than you were designed to. Reflect on what’s yours to manage and what's His.
• Practical tips: Protect your mornings and focus on doing the next right thing.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://becomingunhindered.com

Connect With Us:

• Follow us on Instagram/Facebook for more tips, inspiration, and updates.
• Have a question or feedback? Send us a message at [email protected]! We love hearing from you.

Was this helpful?:

If you found today’s episode helpful, feel free to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! It helps other amazing women like you find us and get free from what's hindering them and weighing them down.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

We’re diving deep into a crucial topic: how to recognize entangled, toxic, or off-balance patterns in relationships, and how you can break free from them.

Navigating relationships—whether with family, friends, or in dating—can be tricky, especially as a teen or young adult. Sometimes we fall into patterns we don’t even realize are unhealthy until it’s too late.

In this episode, I’m here to help you identify some red flags of toxic relationships so you can avoid getting stuck in them.

This episode is also a great resource for you to help others who might be struggling in unhealthy relationships.

TIMESTAMPS

[00:36] Disclaimer

[02:22] Signs of an entangled or toxic relationship

[05:10] The difference in healthy relationships

[07:00] Biblical worldview perspective and the importance of wise counsel

[08:20] How to set boundaries, take ownership of your actions, and break free from toxic patterns

[11:35] Next Right Step Challenge

[12:33] If you find yourself in an unhealthy entangled relationship, there's help and hope.

[13:30] Preview of next week's episode

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• It's so easy to fall into unhealthy patterns without realizing it…sometimes we just don’t know what healthy looks like.
• When multiple people around you are worried about a particular relationship you’re in, pay attention. Listen to them.
• We all have room to grow as far as relationships are concerned. It’s not just about the occasional slip-up…it’s about looking for consistent patterns. Determine whether these patterns are consistently negative and draining...or positive and life-giving.
• Entangled relationships can weigh us down and hold us back from God’s best for us.
• It's never too late to get help, if you need it.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

Focus on the Family – Counseling Services: https://www.focusonthefamily.com

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7 confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship.).

• Website: https://www.thehotline.org
• Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
• Text: Text "START" to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN) (Confidential help, resources, and can connect you to local services for anyone impacted by sexual violence).

• Website: https://www.rainn.org
• Phone: 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
• Text: Text "RAINN" to 741741

Crisis Text Line (connects you with a trained crisis counselor who can help you through any emotional or mental health crisis):

• Website: https://www.crisistextline.org
• Text: Text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 crisis counseling.

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Join my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

We’re diving into burnout – what it looks like, how to spot it, and most importantly, what to do about it. Whether you’re a student, managing a career, balancing motherhood, or juggling it all, this episode is for you! We’ll also be unpacking spiritual insights and giving you practical strategies you can actually use. Don't miss it!

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

We’re talking about 3 spiritual issues that directly impact your mental health—We’ll explore why these are so important and how we can overcome them for better mental and spiritual well-being.

This is a necessary but tricky discussion, and I want to be clear: not all mental health is necessarily related to spiritual issues. Mental health can be affected by and rooted in many factors, including lifestyle, genetics, biology, your own personal chemistry, past history, among so many other variables.

However, for a Believer, it can be very helpful to reflect on these spiritual issues and rule them out, as they certainly can contribute to (& possibly escalate or intensify) some mental health symptoms.

TIMESTAMPS

[00:45] Disclaimer

[02:18] Unconfessed Sin

[03:56] Ungodly Beliefs

[10:14] Unforgiveness

[11:20] Signs of unforgiveness

[12:45] 5 Myths about forgiveness

[18:11] How to Forgive: 3 Step Process

[20:20] Forgiving Yourself

[20:48] When We Feel We Need to Forgive God

[22:21] Next Right Step

KEY TAKEAWAYS

•  Not all mental health is rooted in spiritual issues, however, unresolved spiritual issues can affect mental health, especially for a Believer.
• Problem: Unconfessed Sin; Solution: Identify it, Confess and Repent
• Problem: Ungodly Beliefs; Solution: Confess and Replace with Truth
• Problem: Unforgiveness; Solution: Choose to Forgive (Count the Debt, Release judgment, Address Needs)
• Forgiveness myths: "I must wait until they apologize," etc.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

Freedom Tools book by Andy Reese https://a.co/d/eBlwFaA

Keys to Freedom book by Mercy Multiplied Ministry

https://a.co/d/aOZ3pzf

NEXT EPISODE:

We'll be discussing the ins and outs of what christian young women need to know about entangled and toxic relationships.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

(intro)

TIMESTAMPS

[00:50] - Disclaimer

[01:40] - Limiting Beliefs

[02:30] - Your Personal Beliefs About Self or God

[03:06] - 3 Steps to Identify Skewed Perspective

[06:25] - Strategies to Shift Perspective

KEY TAKEAWAYS

•  When hard things happen, we can start to believe things about ourselves, others, and God that might feel true but may not actually be true.
• Identify a belief about yourself by naming the word or phrase that you say most often to yourself.
• Replace limiting beliefs with more truthful statements.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

Unpacking 3 spiritual issues that might be affecting your mental health, and what you can do about them.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

I’m excited to launch Becoming Unhindered, the podcast that empowers young Christian women with hope and freedom to overcome life’s toughest challenges. After years of sitting with clients and listening to their stories, I’ve found there’s quite a few topics that come up over and over. The podcast is a casual space where we can discuss those topics so others can benefit —integrating faith and mental health in a way that’s both real and relatable.

TIMESTAMPS

[2:00] - Why this podcast

[3:16] - Podcast is NOT therapy

[4:00] - What’s the name, Becoming Unhindered, about?

[4:56] - What to expect

[5:48] - Upcoming topics

KEY TAKEAWAYS

*Podcast is not therapy or replacement for therapy. If you need a counselor, you should find one. Check the link below for how to find a good one.

*”Becoming” refers to the fact that all of us are growing, learning, becoming.

*”Unhindered” means set free from what keeps us from being all we are designed to be.

*What to expect: Mental health topic; spiritual perspective; practical action steps

*Episodes will be 10-20 mins 

*new episode released every Tuesday 

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

When you’ve been through something tough—whether it’s a broken relationship, loss, rejection, or any other painful experience—it’s easy for your mind to start telling you some pretty harsh things about yourself, others, and God. Next week we’ll explore ways to untangle our perspective after hard things happen.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.