Obviously, Seattle has a rich and vibrant wizard scene. We all know this. Well, one day, one of the wizards turned a tugboat named Louie into a human being and Louie decided to do one of the most Seattle things possible: open a teriyaki restaurant. He was really good at it. The meat was not too soggy but not burnt, the glaze was sweet and just a little salty, the cursory salad was fine. And after a while, Louie had thoughts of expanding to new locations but then didn’t.

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John’s acclaimed, best-selling memoir, The Hilarious World of Depression, is now available in paperback.