This week, Ash sits down with Carly Schwartz, author of I’ll Try Anything Twice, to talk about what it really looks like to live through the darkest corners of your own mind and make it out the other side. Carly traces her journey from childhood anxiety to years of depression, substance use, and suicidal ideation, sharing the moments of denial, fear, and quiet desperation that shaped her path.

She opens up about the turning point of finally naming her addiction and the life-changing experience of going to rehab, not as a neat overnight fix, but as the beginning of a very human, very imperfect recovery. Ash and Carly explore the messy middle of healing: the shame that keeps us silent, the relief of being truly seen, and the deep importance of community and storytelling in breaking through isolation.

Throughout their conversation, Carly reflects on what it means to personalise recovery rather than squeeze it into a one-size-fits-all mold. She speaks to the need for flexibility, self-acceptance, and learning to listen to your own needs as they evolve over time. At its heart, this episode is a testament to resilience and connection, a reminder that while recovery is rarely linear, it is always possible, especially when we’re willing to tell the truth, reach out, and let others walk beside us.

Episode chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Carly Schwartz and Her Journey

11:03 The Struggles Behind the Smile

17:09 Childhood Anxiety and Early Signs of Depression

23:20 The Dark Side of Substance Use and Suicidal Ideation

28:26 The Struggle with Substance Use and Denial

32:03 The Turning Point: Seeking Help and Going to Rehab

37:00 Building a New Life in Recovery

45:27 Personalizing Recovery: Finding What Works

51:03 The Power of Community in Recovery

Support Services

If this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling.

Connect with Carly using the links below:

Website - https://www.carly.ink/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/carlicita

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlicita/

Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/236558341-i-ll-try-anything-twice

Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Ill-Anything-Twice-Misadventures-Self-Medicated/dp/B0FD8RPH9L/

Bookshop - https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-ll-try-anything-twice-misadventures-of-a-self-medicated-life-carly-schwartz/591dca26d9b8c510 

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this inspiring episode, Ash sits down with TEDx speaker and award-winning author Melo Calarco—a man who has quite literally cycled to the edges of the world in search of meaning, resilience, and himself. Over 30,000 kilometres across five continents, Melo has learned that the most transformative journey is always the one within.

He shares how meditation and mindfulness became the quiet anchors behind his extraordinary adventures, and how facing grief, uncertainty, and physical limits on the road ultimately deepened his understanding of what it means to truly live. Together, Ash and Melo explore the tension between ambition and contentment, and what it looks like to pursue big goals without losing yourself in the chase.

Drawing on Eastern philosophies and real-life transformations he has witnessed through his coaching work, Melo offers grounded, practical tools for bringing more presence, flexibility, and fun into everyday life. The conversation is a reminder that growth doesn't always look like pushing harder—sometimes it looks like slowing down, checking in with your values, and choosing joy as a practice. Melo's story is equal parts adventure and wisdom, and a powerful invitation to live more fully, freely, and in alignment with what matters most.

Episode chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Melo Carlaco

01:41 A Day in the Life of Melo

05:54 The Importance of Fun and Play

06:55 Hiding Behind a Smile: Personal Stories

10:02 Navigating Grief and Adversity

13:04 The Journey of a Lifetime: Cycling Around the Globe

17:47 The Seeds of Meditation

20:25 Cultivating the Pause: Reaction vs. Response

24:31 Life After Adventure: What Now?

27:37 The Aftermath of Achievements: TEDx Experience

29:26 Setting Hard Goals for Personal Growth

32:06 The Balance of Flexibility and Discipline

34:08 Integrating Eastern Philosophies into Coaching

39:48 Real-Life Transformations through Mindfulness

44:01 The Importance of Presence in Daily Life

46:40 Practical Tools for Mindfulness and Presence

50:45 Living by Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

Connect with Melo below:

BOOK: BEATING BURNOUT FINDING BALANCE FREE CHAPTER

MELO's TEDx TALK

FREE MEDITATIONS on INSIGHT TIMER 

STAY CONNECTED on MELO's LINKED IN

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week you’re invited to listen in as Ash sits down with her lifelong friend Edwina, to explore what it means to remake your life in the wake of loss, motherhood, and big internal change. Edwina opens up about the sudden death of her brother, how grief reshaped her sense of self, and the quiet, courageous decision to question her relationship with alcohol.

She shares what happened when she chose an alcohol-free life, not just on the surface, but in her identity, her friendships, and the way she shows up as a mother and a woman. Ash and Edwina dive into the role of therapy on this path, unpacking powerful modalities like EMDR, and how these practices helped her meet the younger parts of herself with compassion instead of criticism.

Together, they talk about the fears that come with sobriety and the unexpected gifts that arrive when the noise of drinking is stripped away. The conversation shines a light on how retreats, community, and intentional healing practices can open space for self-discovery, deeper connection, and true emotional safety.

Episode Chapters:

​​00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Self-Discovery

01:35 Meet Edwina: A Journey Through Life

03:34 Navigating Grief and Vulnerability

06:44 The Impact of Injury on Identity

09:11 Finding Purpose in Adversity

11:01 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Photo Story

21:17 The Unfairness of Life and Loss

23:00 Alcohol: A Coping Mechanism

35:13 Healing and Understanding Family Dynamics

35:48 Therapeutic Journeys: Exploring EMDR and Internal Family Systems

38:02 The Alcohol-Free Awakening: A Personal Journey

42:09 Facing Fears: The Terrifying Decision to Quit Drinking

46:14 Redefining Relationships: Alcohol and Authentic Connections

50:21 Building Deeper Friendships: The Shift in Social Dynamics

55:12 The Power of Vulnerability: Authenticity in Relationships

01:01:05 Embracing Change: The Journey of Self-Discovery

01:07:52 Investing in Self: The Importance of Personal Retreats

01:12:30 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life: Community, Nourishment, and Movement

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In another deeply honest solo episode, Ash reflects on the six biggest mistakes she’s made across six years of sobriety and how each one became a turning point for growth, self-trust, and real transformation. She takes you back to the day her life changed, then walks you through the lessons that followed, from expecting others to change, to trying to squeeze her new self into her old life, to giving her power away to people who didn’t have the best intentions. 

She opens up about people pleasing, outgrowing relationships, chasing what’s next instead of appreciating what’s now, and the humbling realisation that healing has no finish line. These are the truths she learned the long way, the kind that only come through lived experience, deep reflection, and choosing honesty over comfort.

If you’re navigating change, questioning your path, or learning how to stand in your truth even when it costs you, this episode will feel like a conversation you didn’t know you needed.

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Reset and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Ash is joined by her mentor and high performance advisor, Mark “Dobbo” Dobson, for a thought-provoking exploration of what it truly takes to grow, evolve, and rise after life challenges you. Together they dive beneath surface level success and unpack the real work behind clarity, purpose, and personal expansion.

Dobbo shares hard-earned wisdom on defining your values, sharpening your vision, and having the courage to live in full alignment with who you really are. They also explore how adversity can become a catalyst for transformation, and why the relationships we choose play a pivotal role in shaping the person we become.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that meaningful growth is not built on perfection, it is built on honesty, resilience, and the willingness to turn life’s hardest moments into the foundation for something greater.

You can connect with Dobbo through his website www.dobbo.com.au.

Follow and connect with Ash on:

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Ash is joined again by her dad, Rod, for a candid conversation about the real complexities of love and relationships. They unpack topics many people experience but rarely talk about openly, including love addiction, love avoidance, codependency, and what healthy communication actually looks like in practice.

Drawing on both personal experience and honest reflection, they explore how family dynamics shape the way we love, the patterns we repeat without realising, and what it takes to change them. Ash also opens up about a deeply personal crossroads, her uncertainty around motherhood, and the inner questions that come with choosing a path that feels true rather than expected.

Their father daughter conversations are always listener favourites, and this is exactly why they continue to shine a light on the honest, nuanced conversations that many people are thinking about, but few feel safe enough to say out loud.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Ash has a raw conversation with husband, father, and sober human Vim Verma as they discuss addiction, identity, and what happens when you finally stop running from yourself. Vim opens up about growing up in a mixed-race culture where drinking was normalised, emotions were rarely spoken about, and asking for help felt almost impossible.

Together, they unpack the quiet pressures of family expectations, the heavy emotional charge of the holiday season, and the stigma that keeps so many people suffering in silence. There are moments of grief, moments of clarity, and Vim’s classic humour, that remind us how human this journey really is.

Vim also shares how his recovery program, meditation, and spiritual practice became a turning point, helping him strip back the noise and reconnect with who he is beneath the coping mechanisms. This is a conversation about breaking cycles, choosing courage over comfort, and discovering that real healing starts on the inside.

If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with alcohol, felt trapped by expectations, or wondered what life could look like if you truly listened to yourself, this episode will land.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Self-Discovery

01:34 Vim Verma's Journey to Sobriety

03:45 Navigating Sobriety During the Holidays

04:54 Cultural Influences on Drinking

07:24 The Impact of Family Dynamics

07:53 Getting to Know Vim: Daily Life and Fun

14:06 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Photo Story

16:20 The Progression of Alcoholism

19:05 Consequences of Drinking: Crashing and Bashing

28:18 The Turning Point: Seeking Help

31:44 Experiences in Early Recovery

38:47 Finding Hope in Recovery

41:54 Life After Sobriety: Changes and Growth

47:50 Navigating Life's Challenges in Recovery

51:23 The Role of Support in Recovery

59:46 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life

You can connect with Vim through his Instagram here. 

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this special episode, Ash is joined by her longtime friend Ash Murray. For years, both women battled addiction silently, only sharing the full depths of their stories with one another after coming into recovery. Today, Ash Murray is the Eating Disorder Lead and Therapist at The Wave Clinic in Malaysia, with her expertise grounded not just in study, but in lived experience.

Ash opens up about her personal journey through eating disorders and alcohol addiction, sharing what recovery has truly looked like beyond the surface. From the isolating depths of illness which nearly took her life, to the slow rebuilding of trust, self-worth, and connection, she reflects on the pivotal role that rehab, honesty, healing and self-care have played in finding lasting freedom.

Together, they explore the intersection of therapy and lived experience, how vulnerability and empathy can become powerful tools for healing both self and others. They unpack the mental health challenges that intensified during the COVID-19 pandemic, and the importance of ongoing support in maintaining balance and wellbeing.

Episode chapter:

00:00 Introduction to Ashley Murray's Journey

02:57 Life in Malaysia and Work at the Wave Clinic

05:46 Navigating COVID-19 in Treatment

08:21 The Impact of COVID-19 on Mental Health

11:08 A Photo that Represents Struggles

13:55 The Super Yacht Experience and Its Consequences

16:27 The Turning Point: Seeking Help

19:22 Life in Bali and the Struggle with Addiction

22:16 The Rock Bottom Moment

24:49 Desperation and the Path to Recovery

27:08 The Turning Point: Reaching Out for Help

31:53 Childhood Struggles: The Roots of Eating Disorders

44:03 Escaping Reality: The Need to Hide

48:25 Facing the Truth: A Journey of Self-Discovery

54:28 The Struggle of Surrendering Control

57:02 The Complexity of Eating Disorders

59:13 The Power of Intervention

01:00:41 Transformation Through Therapy

01:04:11 Building Trust in Recovery

01:06:15 The Importance of Honesty

01:08:57 Setting Boundaries for Recovery

01:13:03 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

Connect with Ash through:

https://thewaveclinic.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thewaveclinic/

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Ash sits down with husband, father, and business owner James Date to explore what life looks like after addiction—and how recovery has reshaped the way he moves through the world.

James shares how community, service, and genuine connection became the anchors of his sobriety, transforming what once felt like isolation into a life rich with meaning and purpose. He speaks openly about the power of vulnerability, the role of daily routines and prayer in keeping him grounded, and how embracing honesty has deepened his relationships at home and beyond.

Together, Ash and James confront the lingering stigma around addiction and discuss the strength it takes to ask for help. Through moments of reflection and gratitude, James reveals the quiet joy found in showing up authentically each day—a reminder that recovery isn’t just about living without substances, but about rediscovering who you are underneath it all.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to James Date and His Journey

02:54 The Importance of Connection and Community in Recovery

05:52 Daily Routines and Spiritual Practices

08:58 The Role of Surrender in Recovery

11:58 Compassion and Kindness in Daily Life

15:01 Finding Joy in Service and Helping Others

17:57 The Impact of Sponsorship in Recovery

21:03 The Struggles of Identifying as an Addict

24:03 Behind the Smile: A Photo Reflection

26:53 The Journey to Acknowledging Addiction

30:08 Understanding the Roots of Addiction

32:54 The Ongoing Journey of Recovery

36:18 Understanding Alcoholism and Addiction

38:30 Rock Bottom Moments

42:14 Finding the Right Rehab

49:34 The Journey of Outpatient Recovery

51:23 The Importance of Vulnerability

56:54 Reconnecting with Self and Family

01:02:25 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

Connect with James below:

Instagram: @slayingsober

Podcast: Slaying Sober - listen on Spotify 

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode, Ash challenges the myth that hustle creates happiness and asks a better question: what if the dream life is built through alignment and embodiment instead of force?

Through her own transformation from corporate burnout and addiction to sobriety, surrender and spacious success, she explores why achievement without fulfilment leaves us empty and how co-creating with life can deliver breakthroughs hustle never could.

She unpacks the Law of Least Effort, the power of nervous system safety, and the practical habits she’s using to set up 2026, including her word of the year and a new manifesto that prioritises alignment, presence, ease and self trust. If you’re tired of pushing, proving or performing, this episode shows you how to create more by doing less and build a life that feels good on the inside.

Follow and connect with Ash on:

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here.

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.