In this milestone 150th episode of Behind The Smile, Ash dives into a deeply personal conversation about healing, self perception, and the ever evolving journey of coming home to yourself. She unpacks the relationship between the inner critic, body image, and the way we move through the world, both physically and emotionally.

Through honest reflection and lived experience, Ash explores the quiet conditions we place on our own worth and the tender work of learning to accept ourselves as we are, not as we think we should be. This episode is an invitation to look beneath the surface, to recognise how far you have already come, and to remember that growth is not a finish line, it is a lifelong practice.

If you have ever battled your inner critic, questioned your worth, or felt the pull to redefine your relationship with yourself, this one will meet you right where you are.

Follow and connect with Ash on:

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026

Tuesday 30th December, 2025

Tickets available here.

A Return To You | One Day Retreat

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here.

The Embodied Woman Retreat - Gold Coast Hinterland

May 14th - 17th, 2026 (3 nights, 4 days)

All the details here.

Join Ash on retreat in Bali in 2026! Rest & Renew Holistic Bali Retreat

August 17th - 21st, 2026 (4 nights, 5 days)

Click here for all the details!

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

For Shannon McCabe, hitting rock bottom became the beginning of everything. Once living a life that looked “fine” on the outside yet was quietly ruled by addiction, Shannon, a sober coach and transformation mentor, opens up about the raw truth of her journey through alcohol dependency and the deep healing that followed.

In this powerful conversation, Ash and Shannon explore the emotional unraveling that precedes real change, the spiritual awakening that came through surrender, and the daily rituals that now anchor her sobriety. Shannon speaks honestly about motherhood and the challenges that come with caring for a child with special needs. The shame she battled on a daily basis through her addiction. Rediscovering self-worth, and showing how setting boundaries and embracing community became her path to peace.

This episode is a reminder that recovery isn’t about who you were, it’s about who you’re becoming.

Episode chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Shannon's Journey

02:05 A Day in the Life of a Sober Mom

04:48 The Importance of Morning Routines

06:50 Devotional Practices and Spirituality

13:46 Behind the Smile: A Photo Reflection

21:40 The Progression of Alcohol Use

31:41 Moments of Clarity and Rock Bottoms

37:43 The All-or-Nothing Mindset

44:45 Non-Negotiables for a Sober Life

53:19 Navigating Relapses and Setbacks

58:42 Living Authentically and Free

You can connect with Shannon using the links below:

Website: www.shannonleighmccabe.com

IG @shannonleighmccabe

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in Bali in  2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. 

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

What happens when self-worth becomes the missing piece in healing? In this episode, Ash sits down with Trauma Specialist and Psychotherapist, Jackson Goding, for a raw and thought-provoking conversation about what it really takes to recover, grow, and build authentic connection.

Jackson opens up about his own journey through codependency, the reality of doing deep trauma work, and why self-worth sits at the heart of true healing. Together, they explore the often messy path of relationships, meditation, and emotional regulation, unravelling why personal growth is rarely linear and almost never easy.

This episode goes far beyond the surface of “self-care.” It’s about courage, consistency, and the daily non-negotiables that help us return to ourselves again and again. Expect honesty, humour, and plenty of takeaways to help you nurture your own sense of worth and connection.

Episode chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Jackson Goding and His Work

02:45 Living in Sydney and Future Plans

05:33 Daily Life and Mindfulness Practices

08:31 The Challenge of Powerlessness and Surrender

11:14 Meditation: The Struggle and Its Importance

14:04 Hiding Behind a Smile: Personal Struggles

17:00 Relationships as Mirrors for Personal Growth

19:40 The Complexity of Relationships and Recovery

22:21 The Journey to Becoming a Therapist

24:59 Core Beliefs and Their Impact on Identity

31:02 Navigating Shame and Self-Worth

31:46 Understanding Triggers and Responses

33:07 Effective Communication in Relationships

35:06 The Impact of Past Experiences

36:53 Identifying and Expressing Needs

39:59 The Importance of Boundaries

41:36 Self-Accountability and Inner Child Work

44:24 Defining Codependency

48:10 The Challenges of Recovery from Codependency

52:57 Staying Accountable in Relationships

56:12 Establishing Non-Negotiables for Self-Care

01:02:26 Finding Balance in Relationships

You can connect with Jackson via the below channels:

It Ends With Us Retreat:  https://findreasontherapy.com.au/it-ends-with-us/ 

IG @findreasontherapy  https://www.instagram.com/findreasontherapy/ 

Before you do more work:  https://app.heartbeat.chat/findreason/courses/c/e7acf2c4-df05-4546-8b6c-092d8363fa2a

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in Bali in  2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

One moment changed everything for Rhiannon Tracey, but it didn’t define her spirit. In this heartfelt conversation, the motivational speaker, TEDx presenter, and wellness advocate opens up about the accident that left her with a spinal cord injury and the extraordinary journey that followed.

Rhiannon shares how she transformed tragedy into purpose, from the early days of relearning life’s simplest tasks to founding a not-for-profit dedicated to helping others do the same. Along the way, she discovered the healing power of community, self-love, and joy in the smallest moments.

With honesty and warmth, she reflects on the boundaries she’s learned to set, the intuition she’s learned to trust, and the unconditional love of her pets that carried her through. Her story is a moving reminder that freedom doesn’t come from circumstance, it comes from choosing to live with hope, gratitude, and authenticity.

The episode highlights are:

00:00 Introduction to Resilience and Transformation

01:55 Daily Life and Joys of Rhiannon

05:11 Hiding Behind a Smile: A Photo Reflection

22:53 The Day That Changed Everything: Rhiannon's Accident

26:43 Resilience Through Adversity

29:52 Finding Hope in Trauma

37:30 The Role of Hope in Recovery

47:33 Creating a Community for Healing

50:12 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

You can connect with Rhiannon using the links below:

• Website: www.rhiannontracey.com.au

• The Next Step Recovery & Wellness Centre: www.thenextstepsci.org.au

• Instagram: @rhiannontraceymywheellife | @our_little_urban_homestead | @thenextstepscirecovery

• Email: [email protected]

  
  

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Join Ash on retreat in Bali in  2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. 

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

After decades on the front line, retired police officer Jay Prothero found himself fighting a different kind of battle—the one inside his own mind. In this raw and powerful conversation, Jay opens up about the toll that years of trauma, high pressure, and suppressed emotion took on his mental health.

He shares how anxiety, depression, and PTSD slowly crept in, and how alcohol became his escape from the pain he didn’t know how to face. But Jay’s story goes far deeper than his time in uniform. It’s also about the heartbreak of watching his own child spiral into ice addiction, and the painful, messy road toward family healing.

Together, Ash and Jay unpack what it truly means to break the silence, to face yourself with honesty, and to rebuild a life grounded in authenticity, courage, and hope.

Episode chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Jay Prothero's Journey

04:14 The Power of Ice Baths and Breathwork

08:49 Hiding Behind a Smile: Jay's Struggles with Mental Health

17:35 The Impact of a Police Career on Mental Health

26:22 The Journey to Recovery: Jay's Path to Healing

35:13 Parenting Through Addiction: Jay's Experience with His Son

43:30 Living Authentically: Jay's Non-Negotiables for Happiness

You can connect with Jay through:

Instagram @freezeyourself_au @breathe_with_jay

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Join Ash on retreat in Bali in  2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. 

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Psychosis is one of the most misunderstood experiences in mental health, often clouded by fear, stigma, and silence. In this powerful episode, Ash sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Julia Nicholls, who courageously shares her personal journey through postnatal depression and psychosis.

What makes Julia’s story so extraordinary is not just her vulnerability, but the fact that she’s a mental health professional who found herself on the other side of the system she once worked within. Together, Ash and Julia unpack the misconceptions surrounding psychosis, the shame that still shadows mental health struggles, and the raw reality of asking for help when you’re expected to have the answers.

Julia also opens up about the healing process of writing a memoir with her husband, revealing how storytelling and connection became powerful tools for recovery. This conversation is a reminder that even those who guide others through their darkest moments are not immune to them—and that speaking openly about our pain can be the very thing that sets us free.

Key Highlights:

• The importance of taking time for self-care and rest.

• Reflective practice is crucial for psychologists to maintain objectivity.

• Hiding behind a smile is common among those struggling with mental health.

• Early motherhood can be particularly challenging for mental health.

• The inner critic can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy in new parents.

• Mental health practitioners also need support and can face stigma.

• Postnatal psychosis is often misunderstood and can manifest in various ways.

• Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is a safe and effective treatment for severe depression.

• Open communication is essential for healing in relationships affected by mental health issues.

• Seeking help is vital, and there are many resources available.

  
  

Episode chapters:

[00:00] Introduction and Retreat Announcement

[03:15] Meet Dr. Julia Nicholls

[10:45] Understanding Postnatal Depression

[20:30] The Stigma of Mental Health in Professionals

[30:00] Exploring Psychosis and Misconceptions

[40:15] The Role of ECT in Recovery

[50:00] Healing and Open Communication

[60:00] Closing Thoughts and Resources

You can connect with Dr. Julia Nicholls using the links below:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julia-nicholls-105679a3

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjulianicholls/

Website: https://drjulianicholls.com/

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Join Ash on retreat in Bali in  2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. 

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this episode, Ash sits down with former pro surfer turned mental health trailblazer, Cooper Chapman, for a raw and inspiring conversation about purpose, mindset, and creating real change from the inside out.

After years chasing trophies and external success, Cooper realised the waves he truly needed to ride were the ones within. What followed was a powerful shift, one that led him to build The Good Human Factory and dedicate his life to helping others nurture their mental wellbeing.

Cooper opens up about what he’s learned along the way, from the quiet power of small daily habits to the freedom that comes when we stop seeking validation outside ourselves. He shares the story behind the 1% Good Club, a global movement encouraging people to spend just 14 minutes a day on gratitude, mindfulness, and self-reflection, because big change always starts small.

Together, Ash and Cooper explore the importance of community, balance, and practical self-care routines that actually stick. Cooper’s message is simple yet profound: mental health isn’t a destination, it’s a daily practice of showing up with compassion, curiosity, and consistency.

Key highlights include:

• Cooper's journey from pro surfer to mental health advocate.
• The importance of small, consistent actions for mental health.
• The 1% Good Club encourages daily mental health practices.
• External validation can impact mental wellbeing.
• Community support enhances accountability in mental health.
• Mindfulness and gratitude are key practices for mental health.
• Mental health is a continuous journey, not a destination.
• Finding balance in life is essential for wellbeing.
• Nature and connection to the earth are vital for mental health.
• It's okay to take a break and prioritise self-care.

Episode chapters:

00:00 Introduction to the Retreat and Guest

00:45 Cooper Chapman's Journey and Book Launch

01:54 The Impact of External Validation

06:40 Navigating Long-Distance Relationships

11:27 Finding Balance in Life and Work

13:32 Hiding Behind a Smile: Cooper's Struggles

19:32 Shifting Mindsets and Mental Health Advocacy

26:27 The Birth of the Good Human Factory

33:55 The 1% Good Club: A Community for Mental Health

38:52 Daily Practices for Mental Wellbeing

51:41 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

You can connect with Cooper using the links below:

Instagram - @cooperchapman + @thegoodhumanfactory

Website - thegoodhumanfactory.com

1% Good Club Book - Buy Here!

Follow and connect with Ash on:

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Join Ash on retreat in Bali in 2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026.

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

If you need support with your mental health, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. Or if you'd prefer to text lifeline, you can reach a support team member on 0477 13 11 14.

In this heartfelt episode, Ash is joined by breathwork facilitator and sober mum, Jo Kinna, for a powerful conversation about rebuilding life after addiction. Jo opens up about the deeply personal journey of repairing her relationship with her children, navigating the pain of divorce, and discovering her true purpose in the middle of life’s most challenging season.

Through honesty and vulnerability, she shares how breathwork, meditation, and community became essential tools in her healing and how they continue to support her sobriety today. Jo’s story is one of resilience, showing that even after years of struggle, it’s possible to create meaningful connection, inner peace, and a life aligned with your true self.

This episode shines a light on the courage it takes to start over, the strength found in repairing broken bonds, and the hope that comes when you embrace mid-life as a new beginning.

The episode highlights are:

00:00 Introduction to the Retreat and Podcast Themes

01:52 Jo's Journey: From Addiction to Recovery

06:27 Daily Practices: Meditation and Breathwork

11:03 Navigating Social Anxiety and Relationships

14:40 The Impact of Trauma on Addiction

18:29 The Cycle of Addiction: A Personal Story

23:00 Hitting Rock Bottom and Seeking Help

27:57 The Role of Community in Recovery

32:42 Life After Rehab: Challenges and Growth

37:25 Finding Purpose: Breathwork and Teaching

42:03 Future Aspirations and Continued Growth

46:32 Closing Thoughts and Non-Negotiables

Join Jo at her next event The Gift of Pause on November 12th at Merkabar Studio in Cheltenham - Event Details & Tickets Here! 

You can connect with Jo Kinna on Instagram here @beyondthewave__

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Join Ash on retreat in Bali in  2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. 
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this episode, we’re joined by Nick Jonsson, a global keynote speaker and mental health advocate. Nick shares his inspiring journey from reaching the heights of corporate success to his journey of personal recovery, discussing the challenges of hitting rock bottom and getting sober, along with balancing travel, work, and family life. He opens up about his hidden struggles behind his smile, the isolation that comes with success, losing a close friend to suicide and the physical manifestations of stress. Nick emphasises the importance of surrendering to change, building connections, and sharing stories to combat loneliness. He also talks passionately about the role of fitness in his recovery. 

This episode offers a profound look at vulnerability, resilience, and the transformative power of connection in the pursuit of mental and emotional well-being.

The episode highlights are:

00:00 Introduction to Nick Jonsson's Journey

02:52 The Importance of Routine in Recovery

05:43 Behind the Smile: The Struggle with Executive Loneliness

08:25 The Downward Spiral: From Success to Isolation

11:31 The Roots of Anxious Overachievement

14:12 The Impact of Drinking Culture on Mental Health

16:57 Hitting Rock Bottom: The Psychosomatic Illness

19:55 The Turning Point: Finding Hope and Connection

23:44 The Power of Surrender

28:33 Building Connections in Recovery

30:24 Honoring Simon: A Catalyst for Change

35:35 Understanding Smiling Depression

39:09 The Journey of Self-Discovery

42:51 Encouraging Vulnerability in Men

46:37 Fitness as a Key to Recovery

49:03 Living Authentically: Non-Negotiables for Life

You can connect with Nick through:

• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/nick-jonsson

• YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/NickJonsson

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/jonssonnick

• Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/jonsson.nick

  
  

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Join Ash on retreat in Bali in  2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. 

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

#behindthesmilewithashbutterss #recoveryjourney #lonliness #mentalhealthmatters #depression #resilience #breakthestigma #vulnerability #mensmentalhealth #recoveryispossible

In this raw and unfiltered solo episode, Ash opens up about what really happened after returning from a powerful retreat in Bali. She shares the unexpected crash that followed, the darkness she found herself sitting in, and how she’s been navigating waves of depression with honesty and self-compassion.

Ash talks about the messy reality of healing, the role of the nervous system in moments of struggle, and the surprising strength that comes from leaning on community. She doesn’t sugarcoat the hard parts, but instead shows how vulnerability, connection, and small acts of self-care can carry us through even the heaviest seasons.

If you’ve ever felt like you “should” be further along or questioned why things feel so hard after big breakthroughs, this episode will remind you that you’re not alone, and that the path to healing is never a straight line.

The episode highlights are:

00:00 Introduction to the Retreat and Podcast

01:38 Vulnerability and Personal Reflection

02:34 Post-Retreat Struggles and Burnout

05:24 Navigating Depression and Emotional Awareness

10:14 Finding Comfort in Nostalgia and Self-Care

14:22 Understanding Nervous System Regulation

17:47 The Importance of Emotional Processing

20:53 Self-Compassion and Authenticity

28:51 Insights from the Retreat Experience

33:20 Looking Ahead: Slowing Down and Self-Care

To access your free guided meditations, head to the Freebie Page on Ash’s website ⁠https://www.ashbutterss.com/free-resources⁠

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ 

⁠TikTok ⁠

Website⁠