Being A Better Man

As you listen, I really want you to consider your own stories. When did you learn these lessons? Can you remember? Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital. It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories. In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today. Today’s story, called The Absence Of Color, is about something that happened that made me understand how much we appreciate things when we no longer have them, and how we can choose to appreciate even the small things.

Today I have someone with me here, a special guest named Dan Mcdonald. I’ll give you a little background; Dan Mcdonald is a personal friend of mine, in fact, he’s my best friend outside of my blood family, he actually officiated the wedding of me and my wife. We are blessed with his presence today because he traveled 2 1/2 hours to my home, to spend a couple days with us, visiting, because that is what friends do. I’ve been wanting to have him on the show for some time because he is one of the best examples I know of a man committed to being a better man every day, and he also has a dynamic story that I think will reach a lot of you. Since he was already here, I thought this was a perfect opportunity. Dan and I discuss a lot of things in this episode. We talk about how two guys from such different backgrounds can wind up being friends. He reveals the effects of a life-changing event that happened when he was 15, when he lost his eye. Dan talks about his 20 year career as a musician. His experience as an up and coming rock star in the Seattle Grunge scene, and the inherent pitfalls of that lifestyle.

He candidly tells us what happened, that turned his life around. We discuss fatherhood, divorce, true love, and friendship. Finally, Dan gives us his three biggest things to focus on, that will help us be better men today than we were yesterday. They are: Accountability, perpetual improvement, and the awareness of Legacy.

To break that cycle requires a great deal of personal will, strength of character, and tremendous focus. You know I always say that the things we focus on expand right? Well the focus required to replace a bad habit with a good one is off the charts. Its the kind of focus that common men don’t have the strength for, it’s hard, and it can be uncomfortable. It’s a good thing for us that we are not common men…we my friends, you and I, are better men. But, even the best of men will slip at times, or go through a tough patch. We are human beings and thats just part of life. Its at times like these that it really helps to have a mentor. Someone to hold you accountable, someone that will be straight with you when you need it. A person you can rely on to help you alter your perspective when you need to.

As you listen, I really want you to consider your own stories. When did you learn these lessons? Can you remember? Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital. It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories. In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today. Today’s story, called Make Guilt & Shame Work For You, is an embarrassing story, for me. Because I reveal a time in my life when I wasn't too bright, and the consequences that came with that. The good news is, that guilt and shame can either consume you, or you can use them to make yourself better.

I think its imperative that every man take a good long look in the mirror and decide for himself what is and is not acceptable behavior…and then, abide by those rules you set for yourself. That is my definition of morality. It may seem like an exercise in redundancy, because many of your own morals will be exactly the same as those currently being imposed upon you. The difference is, that now they are yours, and you comply with them not because you are told to, but rather because it is what you as a man, have deemed to be the right thing to do. See the difference?

I’ve said many times in other episodes that one of the greatest callings of a man, is the kind of example he is. Somebody is always watching us everywhere we go. If not our kids, maybe someone else’s kids, or your neighbors or your co-workers, or the guy in line at Starbucks. Someone is always watching us, and in that moment, we are the example of manhood.

Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life, Or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it. Either way, you should be entertained. As you listen, I really want you to consider your own stories. When did you learn these lessons? Can you remember? Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital. It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories. In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today. Today’s story, called The Noises Upstairs, was pretty brutal on me, as you'll see. All of our experiences become part of who we are and there is something to be learned from everything. The lesson I learned from this experience, is that perception IS reality.

So what I am talking about today is labels…I hate labels. Labels do nothing but put people in groups. Groups always define people inaccurately, and that leads to division; it drives a wedge between human beings who might otherwise get along fine. The label example I am using today is the label of “Millennial”. The term Millennial is given to the generation who is roughly between 18 and 34 years of age. It is a label that comes complete with it’s own set of negative stereotypes and prejudices.

We have all heard jokes about women. Jokes that highlight some of our differences in a way that paints women as inferior. The same is true of many racial jokes, or jokes about gay people or disabled people. These kinds of jokes are one of the things that perpetuate the underlying idea that some people are of less value than others.

These jokes are not always told with intentional malice. You may be just trying to make someone laugh, but the underlying message of the joke is harmful, and destructive. I think everyone, every person, should have the same opportunity as any other person, that people should be judged solely on their merit as a human, and not their gender, orientation, religion, or race.

As you listen, I really want you to consider your own stories. When did you learn these lessons? Can you remember? Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital. It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories. In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today. Today’s story, called The Unworthy Risk, Taught me the formula to know wether or not a risk is acceptable...or stupid. Turns out...there is a thin line between the two, but we don't have to cross it if we are paying attention.