Being A Better Man

I have heard people say many times that “You can’t help who you love”, as an excuse for people who find themselves in a bad situation or who made a bad relationship choice. I disagree with this statement entirely. Perhaps what they mean is that you can’t help who you are attracted to, I agree with that. But we can help what we do about that attraction. Just because we are attracted to someone does not mean it would be a good idea to pursue them as a relationship…there has to be more than just attraction to create an environment where true love can flourish.

The reason this is all important to us as men, is because we were designed to be in relationship with other people. The human animal does much better and survives much longer in a group of other humans. So being good at having relationships is essentially a fundamental survival skill. I think this may be more important now then it has ever been before in human history. Because the age we live in is pretty easy, too easy. All of our basic needs are easily obtained and that leaves a lot of time for people to forget about whats really important. It’s really easy nowadays, to not be a good man. However, focusing on our relationships fills that void. Our relationships are the remedy, because if we are focused on all of our relationships, that means we are engaged in the heath and well being of those relationships. It means we are doing good things and having good thoughts for the people we care about. Can you see how the very act of doing that can make you a better man every day? That’s why it’s important.

The fact that we don’t have to kill things to live every day and defend our loved ones against threats is a huge advantage. Our ancestors couldn’t even dream of a life as easy as the ones we have. It’s easy to get confused by how easy it is…at times it might seem as though life takes very little effort at all and that is where a lot of guys tend to get off track because the rules about manhood seem gray, instead of black and white.

I believe words have power. And if we think and speak of our role in the relationships we have in terms of fidelity, it suddenly takes on more significance and importance. It becomes more difficult to justify our lack of good behavior because now the word fidelity is in the way. It is one of those words that cannot be fudged around, you are either in fidelity or infidelity. It is for that reason that I encourage you to add that word to your regular vocabulary. Start thinking it and speaking it and your relationships will take on a new, higher level of significance.

Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life. Or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it. Either way, you should be entertained. As you listen, I really want you to consider your own stories. When did you learn these lessons? Can you remember? Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital. It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories. In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today. Today’s story, called The Saga Og Little Big Turkey, is really about confidence and attitude, and how we can use them to our advantage if used with a measure of intelligence, reason, and compassion.

Obviously, the use of swear words really does depend on who you are, what you are doing, and where you are. There really isn’t one answer to this question. I have listeners from all over the world and it will be a little different for everyone. There is something that is the same though, no matter where you are. If you are a man, then you have an obligation to decide for yourself what is acceptable behavior, and then be true to your decision. As a man you are going to be an example for someone as well, and it’s up to you to decide what messages you want to give the people you are an example for.

It might be hard to imagine, but do you think if you took nothing for granted that its safe to say you would be more appreciative of life itself? I think so. This is the part that has to do with being a better man. You might be wondering how not taking things for granted could help you be a better man, and I’m about to tell you. If life was to become a bigger deal than it is now. If we took nothing for granted and were appreciative of

everything in the world around us. It stands to reason that our own lives, our actions or lack of action would also take on more significance because we would be connected to that world. The way we live would matter more than it does now because we would have a greater connection to the world we live in. Can you see how that might help you become a better man?

As you listen, I really want you to consider your own stories. When did you learn these lessons? Can you remember? Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital. It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories. In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories. It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next. The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today. Today’s story, called Dreams Ignite Ambition, is about the power of dreams, and their ability to release the potential within all of us, if we allow it..

I realize we don’t all come from close families, or large families. Many families are fractured and broken, their customs and traditions lost to the past. Its unfortunate, but it is a reality as well. Still others of us, a good number in fact, may not have any blood family at all, but you still have chosen family. People with whom you are bound and related to, through experience and love. My message today is for all men though. Wether you are blessed with a close family or if you find yourself struggling to keep a fractured family together, or you are a member of a chosen family unrelated by blood. Your responsibility to your family is the same in either case.

You have probably heard me say before many times that a man should share his strength. What does that mean? Well, it can mean anything from opening a jar with a stuck lid, to being calm and confident in moments of great distress. It can mean being decisive when its necessary, or it could mean going to work every day to provide resources for the home. Sharing your strength means any situation where you are offering yourself, your time, your resources, your courage, or your compassion to someone who needs it. Most often, that will be someone in your own family, but it doesn’t have to be.