Being A Better Man

I think as a species, we developed in such a way that when we actually spend a day working hard, working past the point of discomfort and working through pain. When we spend a day accomplishing something with the strength of our bodies we are rewarded with a unique sense of satisfaction that cannot come from any other source. It releases endorphins that make you feel awesome. I think, a special kind of endorphin you can’t get anywhere else.

Look, I know that you guys, the listeners of this show are not the problem. You are here because you want to be a better man after all. However, you can be part of the solution. It’s important because violence committed by men affects all of us. It affects the world we live in. It affects how men are regarded and thought of as a whole. By the way, the victims are not always female. Many, many young boys also suffer abuse from men. Not only that, but all these young boys who are traumatized by not only their own abuse, but the abuse they see their mothers and sisters suffer—how do you think they are going to grow up under that example.

Here’s the deal, here is what I want to acknowledge. Every single man out there has a different starting point, that’s just how it is. In the great race of life some of us get to start on the starting line while other guys have to start a few yards behind us, and some other guys start the race way back there. Then there are those other few guys that get to start several yards in front of everyone else. Yet, we are all in the same exact race when you look at the big picture, and our starting point isn’t something we can choose. We can choose how we run the race though.

You know right from the start when I decided to put this podcast together, I did so with the intent of inviting other men to join me on a path I was already on. The path of perpetual improvement, getting better in every area of life every day. That’s why I call myself “your fellow man in the trenches” in the intro. Because I really, really am right there in the trenches with you, last night I proved it.

I get it, it’s kind of a natural thing. People are activated by bad news. People listen intently if you are talking about something negative. I think we are hard wired this way, we are drawn to bad news because our ancient ancestors had to address the threats in life first, in order to survive. The problem is, we don’t live in those times any more and much of the negativity we are exposed to isn’t a threat at all…it’s really just gossip. The downside of all this negativity in my opinion, is that we become infected by it. If we aren’t careful we get sucked into the drama and before you know it, we are contributors. It is a self perpetuating condition. Negativity breeds more negativity.

To act differently, by a different standard of behavior when you are alone is a very natural thing to do. I’m not judging anyone for it because I’ve done that myself, we all have. It is a very common thing to do but we, men who have decided to be better men, are no longer common men. To have your behavior, thoughts, actions, and speech be consistent wether you are alone or around any group of people is a very powerful, liberating thing. It’s liberating because you are being yourself all the time. You don’t have to think about it. Obviously, if you act differently around different groups of people or when you are alone, then there are times when you are not being yourself.

On this memorial day, wether you are in America or not, I suggest that you take some time to ponder the people who gave their life in service. Next, I suggest that you take a few moments to consider your own ancestors. Go to their grave if you are able to. Even if you don’t have any idea who your ancestors are. Even if you don’t know their names or their stories—you can still honor the fact that they existed. You can consider their life and their sacrifice, and realize that you came from them

Today’s episode is kind of geared for the single guys out there. You guys who are attached may find it interesting as well though. My question for today is; why do you listen to this show? I really want to know, because it was recently suggested to me that men tune into this program because they think becoming a better man will eventually lead to them having more success in the dating / mating world. I’m not convinced that is your only motivation, so I would like to know what your reason is for tuning in.

What this all boils down to is what I started saying way back on the very first episode. When I told you to look in the mirror every day and take account of yourself and your life, so you could make corrections where needed. The term “every day” is a critical component of that formula. It’s also the part most often missed. Today’s metaphor is intended to help you visualize that every day part, and realize the necessity of it.

What’s on my mind today is something that I read on Facebook a couple days ago. It was the lamentation of a female friend of mine. I think it’s important for us as men to take the time to understand how men are being perceived in the world. If you are going along with your life and you are a pretty decent guy it’s real easy to forget what women and other people experience. It is really easy for us to go through our life never feeling threatened or marginalized. So this is what she wrote: