Being A Better Man

Not being realistic can cause problems in every area of life if you aren’t careful. Personally, I tend to think that this type of separation from reality is a form of laziness, I’ll explain why. Some guys may see something about themselves that isn’t quite right, something that could use improvement or something they lack. Right then they could decide to focus on that thing whatever it is. They could focus on it with the intention of improving it so it is no longer a liability. They could master that new skill, or lose that 20 pounds, or whatever. Unfortunately that would require two things they are not willing to give though; time and effort. They want what they want right NOW.

There is only one world, and we’re all a part of it. As men, the things that happen in this world should matter to us. In particular the things that other men are out there doing. Only when we know what the problem is will we know what to say when we speak up. Only then will we understand what kind of example we need to be, and only then can we start becoming part of the solution.

Today I want to talk about the virtue of good old fashioned back breaking hard work. It’s something many people tend to avoid these days. There are many people who have never actually done excruciatingly hard physical labor in their whole life. These are soft times we live in. We buy our food already prepared. Our clothes come ready to wear, and the buildings we live in are just there…when something goes wrong we call someone else to fix it. As a species we are becoming more and more distant from our physical roots. We have forgotten that our bodies are dynamic, useful tools capable of great industry. Some people compensate by going to the gym and working out real hard. They do that because it feels good. Hard work releases endorphins in your brain that make you feel good. Hard physical labor does the same thing.

Independence is the opposite of dependence, and It would mean not being dependent upon situations and conditions, but rather…persevering and figuring out how to excel in spite of those situations and conditions…or to take it even further, being the force that creates situations and conditions that are favorable. Imagine if every man lived his life this way…it would be a different world wouldn’t it? To gain your autonomy…your independence as a man is still possible, even though we are subject to laws and governments and employers and economic statistics…we can still be autonomous men. How? By first understanding what we believe and what we stand for as individuals, and then by never compromising those beliefs for anyone or any thing. To put it another way, to be true to yourself at all costs.

I want to acknowledge all of you guys who listen to this podcast. All you guys that read books and seek out other resources related to your improvement as a man and as a person. Congratulations! You belong to a percentage of humanity that is instinctively concerned and aware. You understand that you can and should strive to be a better man, not just for your own sake, but for the sake of everyone you love and for humanity at large. If you weren’t concerned with these things, you wouldn’t be here. That is step one; being engaged and aware and concerned. Step two is that each of you need to take up the torch and continue the conversation wherever you are. In whatever circles of people you find yourself in. I am happy to lead the charge with this podcast, but I am only one voice.

There are people who received a great legacy from their ancestors, and they squandered it, not appreciating it, not using it as an example or building upon it…they wasted it. Then there are people who received nothing but grief from their ancestors who went on to build fantastic, rich legacies from nothing but their own intention. So regardless of who you are, or of what circumstances. Regardless of what legacy was left for you. You all have the same opportunity to be mindful of the legacy you are creating. That opportunity is always happening during each moment that you are alive, today, right now.

Ok, so each one of us have relationships with other people. We are sons and brothers, fathers, husbands, boyfriends and co-workers. We are friends, uncles, nephews, and neighbors. We are customers, employee’s and supervisors. Every time you interact with another human some degree of relationship is established. It may be very slight in passing, or it may be profound and deep, but all of these interactions together make up the entire spectrum of your relationships. All of these relationships from the seemingly insignificant to the profound are important. They are, as I have said many times, the most valuable things you possess. The quality of your life, the level of happiness, joy and prosperity you experience on earth is a direct reflection of the quality of your relationships.

Nowadays we barely notice the changes from one season to the next because we continue to eat and live the same way all year around. That doesn’t mean the seasons are not still significant…it only means our perception of them has changed. I am suggesting that as men we can still use the seasons to galvanize our action, to focus our efforts and attention onto the things that matter. For example, now summer is here. What are your plans for the summer? What do you want to accomplish before Autumn gets here? How will you make the best use of your time in the next three months? It’s a great time to take a minute and reflect on your life. Get a piece of paper and write down what your summer goals are. Then write down how you plan to accomplish them.

I was fortunate to have a fantastic father, but I can’t help but think about all the people who did not have great dads. Guys who didn’t even know their fathers. People who’s father died when they were young. People who have mean or abusive fathers. Fathers in prison, or fathers who abandoned them. I think about all these people on father’s day, because it must be kind of rough for them. I try to put myself in the shoes of a person who has a father that is not worthy of celebration. What is it like when the rest of the country and everyone on social media is talking about what a great dad they have. I try to imagine what that must be like—but I can’t, not really, because that is not my experience. This episode is dedicated to everyone out there in this situation though. I want you to know that you are not forgotten.

When you get bored is when bad things happen. It’s when we start to fill our time with activities or people that are not especially good for us. When people get bored they drink too much or experiment with drugs, or engage in other risky behavior, because they are subconsciously looking for a way to not be bored. Being bored is not a natural state for a human to exist in. My dog gets bored from time to time, you can see it on her face. Cow’s get bored, cat’s can get bored too…but it isn’t for humans to do. The thing is, if you happen to get bored there isn’t any valid excuse for it. It’s entirely your own fault. At the start of this show I said there were two critical things; how we fill our time, and how we manage our time. Well, who is in charge of filling your time when you are not at work? Unless you are incarcerated or serving overseas in a war, the answer is, YOU. As a man in the world, you are in charge of what you do and where you go. You are completely in control for the activities in your day…or lack thereof.