We're All Insane

Being Gay in a Homophobic House


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Ari's adoption was supposed to save her life — but instead exposed her to abuse, neglect, and deep rejection. Taken in by family while her parents were gone, Ari grew up never being accepted for who she truly was, especially as a lesbian. This is a raw conversation about the dark side of adoption, family betrayal, and the lasting damage of being punished for your identity.
Time Stamps:
00:00:00 — What happens when a child is adopted while both parents are incarcerated or addicted?
00:02:10 — What is it like growing up bouncing between homes as a young child?
00:04:05 — How does growing up in an image-obsessed household affect a traumatized child?
00:06:00 — Why do some parents prioritize appearance over a child’s emotional needs?
00:08:20 — How do controlling parents react to LGBTQ families and friendships?
00:10:45 — Why do some parents fear their child being gay before the child even knows?
00:13:00 — How do abandonment issues form when a parent frames themselves as a savior?
00:15:05 — What happens when a teen is forced to come out during a moment of fear?
00:17:30 — How is religion weaponized against LGBTQ children?
00:19:00 — What does emotional abandonment look like after coming out?
00:21:10 — How does isolation become a punishment for queer teens?
00:23:15 — Why doesn’t punishment or control change someone’s sexuality?
00:25:30 — What does it mean when a parent becomes violent over “white lies”?
00:27:40 — How does humiliation become a tool of control in abusive households?
00:29:50 — Why do teens run away when emotional abuse escalates?
00:32:10 — What actually happens when CPS gets involved in family conflict?
00:34:20 — Why do abuse survivors minimize their experiences when authorities ask?
00:36:30 — What does it feel like to learn you were never legally adopted?
00:38:45 — Why do children return to abusive homes even after escaping?
00:41:00 — How does financial control replace emotional care in toxic families?
00:43:10 — Why do abusive parents spread lies to isolate one child from the family?
00:45:20 — How does parental manipulation damage sibling relationships?
00:47:30 — Why do abuse patterns repeat in adult romantic relationships?
00:49:45 — How does childhood trauma shape attachment and self-worth in adulthood?
00:52:00 — What happens when adult children go no-contact with a parent?
00:54:20 — Why do adult children still crave validation from abusive parents?
00:56:40 — How do survivors grieve a parent who is still alive?
00:59:00 — What does healing look like after going no-contact?
01:02:30 — How do survivors redefine family after losing their parent relationship?
01:06:00 — How do you accept that a parent may never change?
If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9
or send an email to [email protected]

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We're All InsaneBy Devorah Roloff

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