This week we get a visit from Darth Gator, who is just like a member of the family. You know, the one that always tries to bite your arm off. We also  hear about one bereaved pet owner who finds a unique way to make sure she never forgets her beloved cat. We've also got sea snakes making moves on divers. Oh, and you know that thing when you find an abandoned staircase in a woods? Do you know why you're not supposed to climb it? No, us neither. 

This week we have an absolute orca of a time thanks to a Guinness-guzzling gran and a double helping of Swiss cheese. It’s no wonder we’re tired. So very tired.

A man dresses as his wife to board a plane, a woman celebrates her wedding anniversary by drinking a 50-year-old beer, Mattress Mick refuses to take bra-borne cash and for some reason a mound has been built in central London. Those are stories on this week's podcast, but to be honest, it's mainly just Alan Partridge impressions. 

A man gets stuck in a hole. A walrus gets a life coach. A pub gets a ghost. A man gets no sauce with his McNuggets and threatens to blow up a restaurant. Just another normal week in the world of weird news. 

Why do stories need pesky details like names, ages, dates and any proof they actually happened? Well the great news is they apparently don't if they're regurgitated from Reddit. We also have an update on Wally the Walrus who is causing havoc with the locals, we hear about probably the worst weight loss invention ever and one man who has quite literally, given shit to the police. 

A cat who came back from the dead, a romantic in India hides his girlfriend in his bedroom for ten years, a woman who is getting her own back on her ex one junk email at a time and the simple solution for single use plastics - eat them.

An employee who called in sick to work and went to the pub wins compensation for unfair dismissal, frozen poo is reportedly falling from the skies above Portsmouth and a Belfast pub gets a bad review because one customer wanted to use her own teabag. But stop the press! Jim Davidson has sailed into Weymouth on his luxury yacht and is giving out wine to strangers on the quayside. 

A drunk man breaks into an Airbnb full of cops and a paralegal breaks into a zoo to feed the monkeys Cheetos. Elsewhere we look at teenager who spent six years digging a hole after a minor row with his parents and a journalist who decided to join in while reporting on a swingers club... which her dad thinks it's really cool. We also introduce our new feature on second mentions / knobbly monsters and announce this week's winner of the Bayford Award for Audacity. 

This week we find out why going on a school trip to the local jail isn't the best way to see your boyfriend and how a drug dealer has ended up doing time because of his 'love of Stilton cheese'. Meanwhile Jesus makes an appearance on a road sign and some incredible photoshopping has been going on in Florida.