During this episode I will talk about why I went on benzos in the first place and also how that led me to realize that I need to work on my root chakra and believing in myself and standing up for myself and speaking up for my needs and wants all because I don’t feel good enough on the outside. So I am good enough I am good enough I am good enough.

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This episode is sponsored by

· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Ever wonder how pennis taste in your mouth well if you’re in benzo withdrawal like me you know because the taste of metal from the benzos is so awful

The past few days have been really horrible with the exception of going to Carlsbad with my boyfriend. We had a lot of fun and I got myself out of my comfort zone but today was a really horrible day and I’m still up right now so it was very exhausting but we push through

Today was a very weird day: brain fog, dizziness, agoraphobia, anxiety, bathroom issues, and too much in my head. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day even if one of those stains goes away I really am hoping for the best and the fact that this is affecting everything is just horrific and it’s making me really depressed it’s making me really down that I can’t even go out and do anything not that I can’t force myself to but realistically I don’t have the energy to do much of anything. I kind of wanna stay inside my house. But I do force myself at least once a day if I’m not seeing my boyfriend to go out for an hour an hour and a half just to get airGo to the grocery store got to get Starbucks or go to the bank I try to do that for myself. Also are we trying to get a support group soon to

This gives you an insight of my horrible time on these drugs and how I even numbed out other issues in my life that could’ve been prevented. Gender dysphoria is the number thing I numbed because let face it who really wants to feel so uncomfortable with him or herself.

This episode is only five minutes and basic just shows how my night is through with drawl or more specifically protracted withdrawal syndrome day 120. Major insomnia and sleep deprivation is horrible because how can even do anything when you don’t have a good sleep you know what I mean.

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This episode is sponsored by

· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Society tells us that are transgender journeys are all rainbows and lollipops, well, let me tell you that that is bullshit just to be real with you guys! It takes a lot of effort and going through pain even during the start of hormones. And I knew that going in it is a spiritual job it is a spiritual journey. We are already who we are meant to be we just need to awaken it. We don’t have to hate ourselves as a whole just because we don’t like our bodies that’s all society. However I do truly understand because I feel this way that we all who are transgender had this for and one different body parts I understand that and that’s a real invalid. But we must realize that we can still like their hearts are beating our our our voice or our colored eyes or our hair or our stance on life for refit I don’t know when we realize that we are more than our gender we will become happier. I also want to add that gender dysphoria blocks creativity intelligence expression happiness joy true emotions in general and keep them all locked in your stomach new your sacral chakra and your root chakra and that’s what gets people very unbalanced and that’s what happened to me. So that’s why I have to go through a few days or even a few weeks I’ve just side effects and then I realized that a spiritual awakening is both pain and enjoy. Because if you don’t have pain you can’t have light and if you don’t have darkness you can’t have light I’m just saying and I’ve gone through hell trust me this that I’m ready for my true self to re-emerge from my soul and me already I’m not going to be trying to be someone else so I’m not I’m not going to be a listening to YouTube videos of war telling people that I should just wear all this make up and you dragon shit I don’t wanna do drag not at all that’s not what gender identity is so much more than that just because I’m transit doesn’t mean I wanna do drag just because that someone can be drug or does drag that doesn’t mean they are transgender either. So I just wanted to say those things and this is a very personal story so just be kind and if you know someone who’s juggling let them now that that they can go on YouTube just expect to find mainly body image and veryAsk sick people about transgender issues on there. If I were them I would have a very good support system friends parents partner work whoever it is and I would actually ask of them to have a lot of solitude and realize that it’s an inside job because when we really think about it we are just an inside soul looking down on her body.

As human beings we love to control because we are fearful we are fearful because we fear losing control and we get angry at ourselves and the world when we cannot control something that we want to because we are fearful. I do this all the time and this is very real and personal for myself to share this to you guys I struggle with all three of them but I have found little tools to slowly bring myself up because all of this weighs me down. So let’s start to learn to shift our mindset or thought pattern just even a minute or two per day overtime that will lead you To greatness

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This episode is sponsored by

· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Background into why and how I started this podcast, how it affected me, and how I have grown significantly and as well as with my love of my life!

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This episode is sponsored by

· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

You’re going to have to find out for yourself honestly lol!

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This episode is sponsored by

· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app