Beyond the basement

When I’m under pressure, I tend to contract. I want to get things right, map everything out, stay in control and avoid mistakes.

I take things seriously.

But improvisation keeps reminding me that life often feels lighter (or less costly) another way - through play, experimentation, small offers, and seeing what comes back.

Fresh out of an improv intensive in London, join me for an exploration the difference between perfectionism and playfulness, between trying to force the “right” answer and letting something emerge through curiosity, responsiveness and trust. This lands especially strongly for me in my business right now, but it applies just as much to your relationships, career, creativity and life in general.

If you’re someone who gets tight, serious or over-responsible when things matter, this episode might come as relief.

After months of rebuilding structure and steadiness in my life, I find myself on a new exploration: what does it really mean to be with my experience, rather than fix it, analyse it, distract from it, or turn it into a story - now I feel safe enough to truly feel it?

In this episode, I explore the feminine quality of “being with” - the soft, receptive, relational capacity to stay present with feelings as they move through us. Not becoming the grief, ecstasy, loneliness or fear. Not trying to solve it. Just being with it.

I talk about the difference between containment and flow, masculine and feminine, structure and surrender - and how both seem necessary for healing. I share what I’m discovering about vulnerability, nervous system safety, self-leadership, and the subtle art of letting emotions move without getting swept away by them.

This is a live exploration of softening towards yourself, unfinishedness, and the possibility that maybe nothing needs to be done with your feelings except to let them move through you and onwards.

Come along for an improvised exploration of this strange, unexpected chapter of life: the grief of not being where I once expected to be, the freedom (and loneliness) of living outside the conventional script, and the quiet reality of building an unconventional life while many people around me are immersed in marriage, children, careers and family life.

We’ll talk about the emotional texture of this experience - the sense that life is not supposed to look like this, the loss of structures I once assumed would hold me, and the way middle age seems to bring old wounds, deeper self-reflection and inner work to the surface. I also touch on friendship, solitude, self-reparenting, ageing, visibility, youthfulness, and the gifts that can come with knowing yourself more clearly.

After months of building safety, structure and steadiness in my life, I’ve found myself in a new inquiry: what does it really mean to be with my experience, rather than fix it, analyse it, distract from it or turn it into a story?

In this episode, I explore the feminine quality of “being with” - the soft, receptive, relational capacity to stay present with feelings as they move through us. Not becoming the grief, the loneliness or the fear. Not trying to solve it. Just being with it.

I talk about the difference between containment and flow, masculine and feminine, structure and surrender - and how both seem necessary for healing. I share what I’m discovering about vulnerability, nervous system safety, self-leadership, and the subtle art of letting emotions move without getting swept away by them.

This is a live exploration of softness, unfinishedness, and the possibility that maybe nothing needs to be done with our feelings except to let them be here.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your inner world, or sensed that there must be another way besides fixing, analysing or powering through, this one might land.

After a turbulent season of life, I’ve found myself saying something surprising:

Life is boring right now - and that’s a good thing.

In this episode, I explore the connection between safety, trust, rhythm and the capacity to receive more of the good things in life. I share what I’m learning about nervous system healing, why unpredictability can keep us stuck in survival mode, and how a slower, steadier, more “boring” life can become the very thing that helps joy, creativity and opportunity return.

In this episode, I explore a side of boundaries (what’s a yes or no in life) that doesn’t get talked about enough: the boundaries we set with ourselves.

We often think of boundaries as something we use with other people - saying no, protecting our energy, asserting ourselves, eliminating toxicity or challenging behaviour. But what I’m discovering is that if I can’t hold a boundary with myself, it’s very hard to do it cleanly with anyone else.

I’ll share what it feels like when you hit a solid no. For me that happened thiS morning, when I noticed how a business strategy I’d been using - cold outreach emailing - left me feeling drained, rejected, and quietly miserable. I’d been pushing through it with willpower, telling myself it was “good for me” and “necessary.”

But my body said something very different.

So I listened.

And what emerged was a clear, grounded, self-respecting no. Which weirdly, led to a clear yes later. More trust and more alignment with your self, and by extension - others

I want more of that, perhaps you do too.

Sometimes the very thing that brings you to life is the first thing to fall away when life gets challenging. In this episode, I explore why people drift away from the things they love - like improv, play, creativity, connection - just when they may need them most.

I unpack the story that says you have to be in the ‘right mood’ before you’re allowed to show up, and why that might not be true.

This is about resistance, aliveness, low-mood, being real, and the possibility that you don’t need to arrive cheerful, polished or ‘up for it’ to take part. You might just need to arrive as you are.

Confusion is a form of suffering - that horrible state where nothing quite makes sense, nothing resolves, and the mind keeps looping in search of clarity and certainty that may never come.

Can you relate? That’s been my experience of late. But then I found an unexpected ally…

These reflections came to me in the bath, of all places, when I noticed myself once again circling an old, unresolved situation and trying to make sense of something that may simply never make sense. And instead of analysing it even more, something different happened:

I laughed.

That laughter surprised me. But it also brought relief.

Because life’s a ridiculous circus pantomime, right?

So in this episode, I share a little experiment I’m trying: using laughter as a way to loosen the grip of confusion, relieve overthinking, and create some healthy distance from situations that are really just absurd, contradictory, overinflated or simply not mine to carry.

In this episode, I explore joy - not as a fleeting high or a lucky accident, but as a state. A way of being you in the world. A way of meeting life.

The spark for this reflection was a message from my friend Tom, who said: joy is wealth. That landed deeply. Because after a long winter of grief, withdrawal, heartbreak and recovery, I’m beginning to notice what happens when my focus starts to move outward again - away from my own internal noise, and back into the flow of life.

I reflect on joy as something natural and fundamental in us. Not something to force or manufacture, but something that emerges when the layers of fear, melancholy, trauma and self-protection begin to soften. For me, that state feels like joyful curiosity - open-hearted, available, playful, receptive, and in contact with the world.

I share a story from a hard day in London, when I deliberately led myself towards small, life-giving things - a walk, a coffee, a sauna, a few moments of real connection - and found myself unexpectedly described as having “joyful curiosity.” That phrase stayed with me. It helped me recognise that even when I’ve been deep in grief, joy is still possible. Not instead of sorrow, but alongside it.

I also explore the idea that joy can be an act of rebellion. A quiet resistance to cynicism, shutdown, scarcity, modern disconnection, and other forces that flatten us. Choosing joy doesn’t mean denying pain, pretending everything is OK, or sacrificing sincerity. It means refusing to let pain be the whole story.

Find the ‘Tiny Acts of Aliveness’ challenge I mention in this episode, here: chriskenworthy.co.uk/aliveness

I’ve recently had a difficult but important realisation about emotional healing: sometimes softness isn’t what helps.

Self-compassion, inner child work and emotional attunement are wonderful things, but I began to notice something unsettling - that soothing my big feelings in a gentle, maternal way was making them bigger, not calmer. Instead of helping the storm pass, it seemed to reinforce helplessness, collapse and emotional spiralling.

In this episode, I share a new experiment: meeting my inner world with a steadier, more paternal kind of presence. Not cold, not shut down, not harsh - but grounded, matter-of-fact, containing, reassuring and directional. A presence that can acknowledge the feeling, hold perspective, and then ask: what now?

I reflect on masculine and feminine energies, inner child dynamics, emotional storms, victimhood, agency, and the difference between soothing a feeling and containing it. I share how this shift is helping me move through grief, loneliness and overwhelm with more stability, clarity and momentum.

This is an episode about feelings, stories, nervous system states, inner leadership, and the surprising possibility that what helps me isn’t always more tenderness - sometimes it’s steadiness, structure and a plan.