Beyond The Glass Slipper

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In the classic Dickens story, A Christmas Carol, 3 ghosts come to visit Ebeneezer Scrooge throughout the night on Christmas Eve - 
      The Ghost of Christmas Past
      The Ghost of Christmas Present
      The Ghost of Christmas Future

As you might imagine, the appearance of each ghost person was rather unnerving for Ebeneezer.

The most unnerving part though was realizing that each ghost was there to show him something about his life…

…decisions he had made that brought him to where he was today

…how his attitude and perspective were impacting him and others around him

…and the outcomes the current trajectory of his life would lead to

Spoiler Alert!  These 3 ghosts did Ebeneezer a huge favor because they helped him to see things in a new light, and make changes before it was too late.

As a result, Ebeneezer Scrooge made some changes.

By making those changes he wound up living a much happier life, rich with relationships and blessings.

In this 3 part series, you can consider us the ghosts that will help you evaluate the same in your life.  

Don’t worry - we’re not here to judge.  We’ll be doing the same evaluation for our own lives too in these conversations.

So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we share some ideas about how to deal with Christmas Carol Ghosts of the Past.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

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You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

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Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

Even though stores started putting up Christmas decorations about 2 months ago,     we’re now officially on the other side of Thanksgiving here in the States and the Christmas season is in full swing!

Depending on where you’re at in your healing journey embracing the spirit of the season may come with some mixed emotions - for good reasons.

It’s crucial that you understand how and why the holiday season can impact the areas of your heart where  you’re most vulnerable. 

Don’t put it past the narcissist to attempt to hoover you back in with various strategies.  It’s more common than you think & strategic for the narcissist to leverage the season. 

We want to help you be wise in how you handle your heart and proactive in positioning yourself to have a truly beautiful holiday season.

So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we talk about how to protect your heart at the holidays and enjoy the spirit of the season.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

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You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

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Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

In our previous 2  episodes we shared 10 tactics narcissists use against you to create
 a really twisted version of a carnival Fun House that is meant to keep you off balance, distort your self-concept, and train you not to trust your own judgment.

In Part 3 of this series we’re going to look at another 5 tactics that were used against you:
      Hoovering
      Baiting
      Ghosting
      Intermittent Reinforcement
      Idealize, Devalue, Discard

We’re going to share our thoughts about…

• What each tactic is
  
  
• Why that tactic was used & how it may have been executed against you
  
  
• How it may have impacted you back then and why those impacts may be lingering
   even today

So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we talk about head games that narcissists play to make you feel crazy and why it may still be impacting you more than you realize.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

In our previous episode we shared with you how narcissists create a really twisted version of a carnival Fun House that is meant to keep you off balance, distort your self-concept, and train you not to trust your own judgment.

We shared 5 head games they play and discussed why they did it, how they did it, and why you may still be living in a reactive posture to what was conditioned into you.

In Part 2 of this 3 part series we’re going to look at 5 more tactics that were used against you:

•  Triangulation
•  Mirroring
•  Fish On A Stringer
•  Intimacy Avoidance
•  Flying Monkeys

So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy,  and join our conversation today as we talk about head games that narcissists play to make you feel crazy and why it may still be impacting you more than you realize.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

Have you ever been in a Fun House at a carnival when you were growing up?

You never knew what to expect as you moved from one section to the next.

There’s mirrors all around that show wildly distorted images and make it hard to tell where to move forward.  

When you look in the mirror you see a bizarrely  distorted image you barely recognize gazing back at you.

In the next section the floor splits and starts moving and tilting in crazy angles
 under your feet.  All your attention and energy is focused on not falling down.

Next you’re sent through a maze where freaky looking clowns unexpectedly jump out at you until you’re gunshy to turn the next corner.

Being in a long term relationship with a narcissist can leave you feeling like you’re fighting your way out of a Fun House that’s no fun at all.  It’s a nightmare.

Even after you’re out of the narcissists version of the Fun House you can still be struggling.

You look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself anymore.

Something good happens and you can’t enjoy it because you’re on guard in anticipation of something bad popping out from around the next corner.

Instead of creating your new beautiful life after you’re free from the narcissist's grip, 
you’re still feeling off balance and disoriented, stuck in survival mode…maybe even for years.

What’s going on here?

This is the first of 3 episodes where we’ll walk you through 15 tactics narcissists employ to make you feel this way and try to keep you feeling this way.

So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we talk about head games that narcissists play to make you feel crazy and why it may still be impacting you more than you realize.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

When you’ve lived through narcissistic abuse it’s common to come out of that struggling with issues surrounding boundaries.

Narcissists are skillful at systematically eroding even strong boundaries.  As a matter of fact, especially when it comes to a Category 3 type of narcissist, they look at your boundary and say to themselves, “I’ll take that challenge”.

To them it’s entertaining and a mark of superiority to manipulate you bit by bit into giving up ground until the boundary you used to have doesn’t exist anymore.

They’re so good at this that often you’re not even aware  it’s happening  until you wake up and realize you’ve been the frog in the kettle and now you’ve lost so much ground that you feel like a shadow of yourself and you’re not sure how to turn things around.

Just because you’re no longer dealing with that narcissist on a daily basis doesn’t mean your boundary issues have been resolved.

Boundaries have to do with what you have predetermined is acceptable or not acceptable, and what you’re doing to protect who you are, how you live, and what you have.

Being in a long term relationship with a narcissist means all those lines have been deliberately blurred  AND you’ve been made to feel guilty if you even try to reset any type of boundary to reclaim yourself.

This means we’ve got some work to do!

So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join our conversation today as we talk about how godly people build and repair good boundaries.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

If you’re a regular listener to the podcast you know that usually Carol Pavlik and Wendy Ockers join me as cohosts for our conversation.

Today is something a bit different.

I recently recorded an interview featuring Carol for Comfy Conversations, which is one of the features in my membership, Beautiful Life Academy.  

This episode showcases Carol's expertise and experience helping women put their lives back together again.

So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join us as we share some thoughts about how to create your own custom designed life do-over.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

Sometimes you hear something from the perspective of another person that just jumps out and smacks you between the eyes.

I stumbled across a quote that caught my attention and made me ponder the point the author was making.

Since this marks NeverNarc Podcast’s 50th episode, I thought it would be fun and maybe yield some great insights to gather a few thought provoking quotes and talk about whether we agree or disagree and why.

Plus we may discover some helpful insights, validating truths, and principles to apply along the way.  

So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join us as we share some thoughts about 
3 provocative quotes from others pertaining to healing and growth after narcissistic abuse.


👇
If NeverNarc Podcast has been a help to you please consider leaving a review on the podcast platform you use and sharing about the podcast with others who can benefit from it. Thanks!

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

There’s no doubt that being in a long term relationship with a narcissist is trauma inducing.

Your assumptions about who you are and what’s possible for you have been shattered.

You were robbed of your relational innocence and blissful optimism.

Your total viewpoint has experienced a radical paradigm shift that isn’t pleasant or pretty.

Whether you realize it or not, you’re standing at a crossroad.

You’re faced with important decisions about what attitude and perspective you’ll embrace, which impacts the story you tell yourself about yourself and your future.

You have 3 general paths to choose from.

Path #1 - Unconsciously live your life with the perspective of a beaten puppy - assuming danger is all around, acquiescing your power, living stressed out  and fixated on finding security rather than exploring opportunities.

Path #2 - You can adopt a defensive posture stemming from the mindset that it’s you against the world and nobody is coming to save you. 

The outcome down this path is you turn into a jaded, snarling, suspicious caricature
of who you once were or could be.

Then there’s Path #3 - You can willfully choose the viewpoint of an overcomer, the head not the tail, a joyful, powerful warrior Daughter of the Most High.

Going down either of the first two paths is effortless.  They’re practically default settings after narcissistic abuse.

The problem is that you’ll be miserable for years to come, and Satan will be laughing because he won.

The third path will require a lot of you to traverse it.  Especially in the early stages because you’ll feel like you’re fighting to clear the path of rocks and overgrown vegetation.

It’s hard work, but if you stick with it your life will become better than you ever dreamed possible.

This path will also transform how you view everything, but in really good ways.

There’s a lot riding on the path you select and which viewpoint you adopt, so we need to talk about it!

Pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy and join us as we discuss why trauma changes
 how you view everything and how to find the balanced, healthy perspective you need to write the beautiful next chapter of your story .

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]

Click here to text us!

It might surprise you to hear that although we haven’t yet met, I already know some things about you.

I’d be willing to bet that no matter what you’ve been through in the past or what kind of day you’re having in the present, you do your best to always think of the wellbeing of others.

You’re a good friend.

You’re respectful to others.

You show kindness to your family and friends when they’re struggling and grace when they blow it.

You’re quick to forgive them.

You encourage their efforts, cheer them on, and celebrate their wins.

You’re there for others when they need you.

You’ll quickly put others first and do thoughtful things for them.

You genuinely like your friends and enjoy who they are, quirks and all.

That’s the kind of person you are toward others, whether strangers or close friends.

The big question is, why aren’t you being that kind of person to yourself?

We think it’s time to call out this issue in love, because you deserve better.

So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfy, and join us as we discuss the need to start 
doing unto yourself like you graciously do unto others.

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We'd love to hear from you! Email us: [email protected]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may find Annette's complimentary, on-demand Masterclass - Make It Make Sense helpful:

For info go to: annettechesney.com/make-sense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions? Want to share something with us?
You can email us at: [email protected]