In this deeply personal and transformative episode of Beyond the Mud, I take you through day five of my sobriety journey. With raw honesty and reflection, I explore the peace and clarity that have emerged as I begin to rebuild my life—one moment at a time.

I share my story of how I once lived with discipline and strength, only to see it crumble as I fell into the grips of addiction. From a life filled with chaos and emptiness to a renewed sense of purpose, I reflect on how my surroundings became a mirror of my inner state: empty walls, empty routines, and a sense of detachment.

But this episode isn’t just about the struggles; it’s about finding hope in the emptiness. It’s about seeing those blank spaces, both in our physical and emotional lives, as opportunities for growth. I invite you to join me as I confront the past, embrace the present, and look toward a future where those empty walls are filled with the stories, love, and memories we choose to create.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re starting from scratch or wondering how to take that first step toward change, this episode is for you. Together, we’ll explore how to turn emptiness into possibility and find strength in the journey of rebuilding our lives.

In this episode of Beyond The Mud, we dive into the relentless struggle of early sobriety. It’s day four, and despite all the right choices—4:30 a.m. workouts, miles run, and quality time spent with loved ones—the cravings remain, lurking like shadows in the daylight. We explore the lies the mind tells you, the deceptive idea that drinking is a ‘reward’ for hard work, and the battle to reshape those thoughts into something healthier.

This episode is raw and unfiltered, shedding light on the mental tug-of-war that comes with breaking old habits. It’s about confronting the seductive pull of addiction even when life is good and realizing that sobriety isn’t about receiving cosmic rewards—it’s about choosing to show up, fight, and find meaning in the small victories. If you’re in the trenches too, this is your reminder: you’re not alone. It’s not just about staying sober; it’s about building a life that’s worth fighting for—one moment, one day at a time.

In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Beyond The Mud, we take a raw and unfiltered look into the struggles of addiction, anger, and the journey toward healing. Titled "Through the Fire: Journal Entry 6," this entry reveals the darker parts of my past, from battling an intense Adderall addiction to the destructive temper that’s impacted my relationships and family life.

I share the emotional rollercoaster of trying to navigate sobriety, confronting past trauma, and finding ways to cope without turning to substances. This episode is for anyone who has felt trapped by their own choices, who’s struggled to make sense of the chaos in their life, and who’s searching for a path toward healing and hope.

Join me as I open up about the moments of darkness, the small victories, and the ever-present fight to rebuild myself and the relationships that matter most. If you’ve ever felt alone in your journey or wondered how to move forward, this episode serves as a reminder that growth is possible and that the best is yet to come.

In this episode, I dive into the ups and downs of my first sober weekend. After setting the goal of making it through without a drink, I share the small victories, tough moments, and moments of clarity that unfolded along the way. From waking up early and choosing productivity over regret, to reconnecting with my kids and experiencing genuine joy, I explore how sobriety opens up space for the life I want to live.

I also reflect on the struggles that still linger, like the thoughts of drinking that arise even in the midst of good moments, and the insights that sobriety brings—realizing how the clarity gained from being honest and present outweighs the temporary relief that alcohol once provided. This episode is a raw look into the ongoing journey of reclaiming my life, one small step at a time, and finding the momentum to keep moving forward.

If you’re navigating your own path to sobriety or seeking encouragement, this is an episode for you. Tune in to hear about the challenges, the breakthroughs, and the hope that emerges when you commit to taking it one day at a time.

Beyond the Mud: Part 2 uncovers the scars left by family betrayal, the pain of broken promises, and the journey of overcoming a past that tried to hold us down. From the darkest storms to the faint glimmer of hope on the horizon, this episode is a reflection on rising above the mud that life throws our way.

Join me as I share personal stories of betrayal, loss, and the hard-earned lessons of resilience. Together, we’ll explore how to face the weight of our past, navigate through the mud, and continue moving forward—even when the road feels impossible. Whether you’re fighting through your own struggles or searching for hope in dark times, this episode reminds us that the mud may be part of our story, but it’s not where it ends.

In this raw and deeply personal episode of The Story of Mud, we dive into the emotional chaos of Day Zero—the starting point of a new journey toward sobriety. After a week of mental struggle and slipping back into old habits, I reflect on the guilt, the fear, and the unwavering support of my children, who reminded me of something I had lost sight of: hope. Their words, "I believe in you" and "I'm counting on you," hit me harder than any drink ever could, forcing me to confront the inner voice of doubt that always seems to be lurking.

I talk about the challenge of navigating weekends sober, the uncomfortable truth of feeling disconnected from who I used to be, and how even the things I once loved—like streaming and creating content—seem empty without alcohol. But today marks Day Zero, a fresh start. A small goal of two to four weeks of sobriety may not seem like much, but it's the first step in a much larger battle.

Join me as I open up about the struggle, the doubt, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different. If you’ve ever faced your own demons, this episode is for you. Together, we can take this one day at a time.

Key Takeaways:

The emotional weight of guilt after drinking

Conversations with my children that brought hope and clarity

The challenge of finding joy and identity without alcohol

Setting small but meaningful goals for sobriety

The importance of accountability and self-reflection

Tune in, stay strong, and let’s face Day Zero together.

Beyond The Mud: is a raw, unfiltered journey into the heart of one man's struggle with addiction, mental health, and the relentless pursuit of redemption. Through deeply personal reflections, journal-style entries, and unvarnished conversations, this podcast dives headfirst into the messy, complicated reality of trying—and often failing—to stay sober, to be a better father, and to find purpose in the chaos.

Each episode is a window into the inner battle against self-doubt, regret, and the temptation to give up, all while striving for something better. It’s about falling, getting back up, and fighting to live another day for the people who matter most. The Story of Mud isn’t just about addiction; it’s about resilience, vulnerability, and the hope that even in the darkest moments, there’s a path forward.

If you’re seeking an honest portrayal of struggle and survival, or you’re walking your own difficult road, this podcast offers a voice that understands the fight. Join the conversation, and remember—you’re not alone in the mud.

In this deeply personal and raw episode, I open up about the aftermath of a three-day binge and the ongoing battle to regain control of my life. From the exhaustion that follows poor decisions to the struggle of staying on track with fitness and sobriety, I explore the highs and lows of trying to be better.

Along the way, I reflect on the power of accountability, the temptation to give in, and how listening to my own podcast has forced me to confront the uncomfortable truths I’d rather avoid. Whether you're dealing with your own struggles or just searching for a sense of connection, this episode offers a glimpse into what it really takes to keep fighting, day by day, moment by moment.

Join me as I share my journey of trying to make sense of it all, the lessons I’ve learned, and why staying in the fight is always worth it.

Tune in for a conversation about resilience, personal growth, and the never-ending pursuit of becoming a better version of yourself.

This journal is an unfiltered dive into the raw, unvarnished truths of life's struggles. Join me as I navigate the messy, complicated journey of self-doubt, addiction, family turmoil, and the daily battle to break free from the cycles of negativity. In each episode, you’ll hear real, honest reflections about surviving the toughest moments, parenting through the chaos, and trying to find light in the darkest corners of life.

This is not a story of perfection or easy answers – it’s about the mud we all find ourselves in and the resilience it takes to keep moving. For those searching for something real, for anyone who’s ever felt stuck or alone, The Story of Mud is here to remind you that you’re not walking through it alone. Step into the mess, and let’s figure it out together.

Step into the raw and emotional story of a life shaped by hardship, love, and survival. From growing up in one of Chicago’s toughest neighborhoods to losing my father—a cab driver murdered in cold blood—this podcast is a heartfelt exploration of family, sacrifice, and finding strength in the darkest moments. Join me as I relive memories, share untold stories, and navigate the journey from loss to resilience. If you’ve ever faced struggles or felt like the world’s weight was on your shoulders, this is for you. Let's walk this road together.