Beyond Your Past Radio

Friend of the podcast, author, artist, and survivor, Larry Ruhl, joins us to talk about what life has been like since he released his book, "Breaking the Ruhls", and the new challenges that daily life brings after his openly wrote about his experiences.

Larry joined the podcast previously, back in episode 72, where he talked about the experience of writing his book, why he did it, and the message he wants to share through his writing.

Larry Ruhl serves as a board member for Taking Back Ourselves, which facilitates weekends of recovery for female survivors of sexual abuse, and is a registered speaker with the RAINN network (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). He previously served as a board member at Male Survivor. He also spoke at colleges and retreats to increase awareness of sexual abuse against men and boys. Today he shares his story publicly to spread awareness and to help others shed the shame and stigma associated with sexual abuse. He graduated from the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT), with a degree in Display & Exhibit Design, and worked as a creative director at a textile firm for ten years until opening his own home furnishings/interior design business in 2004. He works as an artist and designer in the Hudson Valley. You can learn more about Larry on his websites, www.BreakingTheRuhls.com and LarryRuhl.com.

During my chat with Larry, he gives us a recap on what's been happening in his life since his book has been published, including new speaking opportunities at conferences and some travel he's been able to do in support of his art.

• We also dive more deeply into the challenges and rewards that come with writing a book about your experiences.
• Larry shares about dealing with the personal struggle of some family members who may support you but choose to keep the struggles you share at a distance.
• We talk about navigating daily life after sharing your story openly, and the struggles of keeping up with self-care, along with the challenge of handling triggers, especially new ones that may come up.
• We discuss the importance of being open to exploring new coping strategies in ongoing healing, even if you have a solid arsenal of go-to skills.
• Being fully present in your body and being open to exploring new memories, personal struggles, or other challenges with your therapist, even if you feel like you've already done extensive healing.

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All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the podcast and BeyondYourPastRadio.com are intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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Today's guest on the podcast, Austin Robin, is a survivor of childhood trauma and lives with Complex PTSD. She has also hosted her own podcast, "The Complexities Podcast", where she shares in-depth about her story and the challenges of living as a survivor and healing. While the show is currently on hiatus, it's most definitely worth a listen to the 30+ episodes.

During our chat, Austin shares some of her back story of being a survivor, and we dive into some specific areas surrounding self-esteem:

• Her survivor story of abuse includes abandonment, neglect, and living with a narcissistic family.
• How going No-Contact with her father and mother was the best decision she ever made and was instrumental in her healing.
  • Healing is exponentially more difficult when you are still in a toxic environment. Finding a way to break free is key.
• Understanding the reasons why you struggle with self-esteem, and perhaps downright hate yourself; where those feelings come from.
• Finding a reason to break free, go no contact, and take control of your healing. Even if that reason isn't "you", just find any reason to cling too.
  • How eventually just finding any reason can lead to you learning to put yourself first.
• Her struggles with an eating disorder, that included checking herself into a medical facility to get help.
• The strategy of getting to a neutral place, before you try and go full speed ahead with your healing. Learning to embrace that "maybe I'm not quite so bad" is a key step, and can lead to "I'm a pretty resilient, amazing person".

All this and more during my chat with Austin Robin. While Austin is not actively podcasting at this present time, and taking a break from social media, she can be reached via the Complexities Podcast Instagram Page or by emailing her directly at Complexities dot Podcast at gmail dot com.

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All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the podcast and BeyondYourPastRadio.com are intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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Tricia Moceo advocates long term sobriety by providing resources to recovering addicts and shedding light on the disease of addiction. Tricia is a mother of two, actively involved in her local recovery community, and is passionate about helping other women find hope in seemingly hopeless situations. She is also an Outreach Specialist for Recovery Local, a local addiction/recovery based marketing company. She advocates long term sobriety by writing for many addiction recovery outlets online. 

During our talk, Tricia shares more of her personal survivor story, which included being molested by a family member starting at 5 years, and then her attempt at reaching out for help during a school seminar, which would ultimately pushed into decades of staying silent, internalizing the shame, and trying to deal with it on her own.

The lack of support and understanding of just how much her past was affecting her as she grew up, lead to experimenting with alcohol late in high school, and then more heavily in college, eventually leading to her dropping out because the numbing and avoiding that had taken over through addiction.

When her stepmom passed away of a heart attack, she was left to try and hold the family together, while still taking care of her young son, resulting in a turn to drugs to help cope. The perfect storm of losing one of her only support outlets, combined with her existing struggles with alcohol,  and running the family business virtually on her own, caused her to spiral into drug addiction, unhealthy relationships, co-dependency, other unhealthy coping skills which eventually found her in the midst of a Child Protective Services case and the reality that she may lose her son.

Tricia talks about the rock bottom moment of sitting in a jail cell, detoxing on a cold cement floor and realizing something had to change. Through the help of her caseworkers at CPS, she checked herself into a rehabilitation facility and began the process of healing. It was during that healing process that she finally found a healthy support system, including a therapist that she felt safe enough with to finally talk about the childhood trauma she experienced and the resulting CPTSD symptoms that she had battled her whole life.

If you'd like more information on Patricia Moceo, just simply Google her name, and you'll find her story on countless rehabilitation and mental health-related websites. You can also find her on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

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All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the podcast and BeyondYourPastRadio.com are intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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The official definition of Borderline Personality Disorder, as outlined by the National Institute of Mental Health: Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior. These symptoms often result in impulsive actions and problems in relationships. People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that can last from a few hours to days.

Jody Betty is a Certified Crisis Responder and a Trauma-Informed Peer Support mentor. She is a survivor of trauma and multiple suicide attempts and lives with BPD. She is also a blogger and podcast host, and her work as a mental health advocate with Sick Not Weak, is well documented through her writing and social media presence.

Jody is a returning guest on Beyond Your Past Radio. She joined us back on episode 109, where she talked about some of her survivor story and life as a survivor. You can listen to that episode here or on your favorite podcasting app. She also wrote a blog piece a few years back, on Surviving My Past, where she talks about her safe place as a child.

During our chat on the podcast, Jody gives us insight into what life is like living with BPD, and the constant struggle to understand what's happening, where her emotions are taking her, and utilizing the coping skills she's developed throughout her life.

• What is life like waking up each day and dealing with the daily struggles, of borderline personality disorder?
• When did she realize there was something wrong and decided to seek out treatment, and ultimately receive a diagnosis of BPD?
• The emotional roller coaster that happens throughout the day, and how often times it's all she can do to just get through one hour at a time.
• Coping skills that Jody has found helpful in living with BPD.
• Learning how healing happens "in the middle"; what that means for survivors living with BPD.
• Learning to hold two truths in your mind about who you are.
• Her peer support program where she works with survivors of trauma, struggling with chronic suicidality and living with BPD.

You can learn more about Jody's advocacy work, check out her podcast, Mental Health Raw & Open, and read her blog, over at JodyBetty.com.

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

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All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the podcast and BeyondYourPastRadio.com are intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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Our guest on this episode of the podcast, Kimberle Taitano, has seen her share of challenges in life, physically, mentally, and emotionally. She joins us to talk about her experiences and how all of the challenges she's faced, brought her to a place of being able to work with others to help them heal and keep fighting for themselves...to never give up, regardless of a diagnosis or a traumatic past.

Kimberle is an Integrative Wellness and Life Coach, Survivor, and Speaker: As survivors of sexual abuse trauma, we seek a way to find and achieve healing from the past. Here at Surrender 2 Wellness our unique perspective and life experience with the impact sexual abuse leaves in a survivor’s life is key to our coaching approach. Low self-esteem, self-worth, and lack of a positive self-image and self-love affect every area of your life.

After an eight-year journey to find alternative healing modalities, Kimberle a sexual abuse survivor discovered new Fields of study. Studying with Deepak Chopra; David Simon; and Davidji learning the principle steps needed to obtain overall healing and closure. Kimberle has integrated these teachings and personal experiences with other holistic healing modalities. Resulting in a unique trauma recovery-focused process.

During our chat with Kimberle, we talk about the diagnosis that brought her to a crossroads in her life, and already being a place of dealing with a traumatic past.

• She shares how the abuse began at 4 years old when she was sexually abused by her father, and experienced bullying and physical abuse at the hands of her stepfather. In addition, she also endured being molested by her stepsister.
•  She talks about her attempts to take her own life, which started at age 8, and her last attempt at age 38. In addition, we discuss the reasons why she tried so often to take her life; and it wasn't because she wanted to die...she just wanted the pain to stop.
• You'll learn of the events that lead her to return to California after spending time in New York working on her acting career, and the diagnosis of MS that brought her to a crossroads, and a decision of either accepting that diagnosis or fighting for herself and finding alternative methods of healing.
• We talk about the holistic approach to healing that changed her life, which includes reiki, meditation, massage, yoga, supplements, acupuncture, nutrition, and more. You'll hear of the incredible healing that happened as a result of working with holistic doctors, using alternative medicine, that had her back on feet in a matter of months, and how she uses that same approach with her clients today.
• We talk about her research with ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences), and the connection of childhood trauma to chronic illness and disease.

If you'd like to learn more about Kimberle's story, or if you're interested in potentially working with her as your coach, head over to Surrender2Wellness.com, and check out her coaching practice and more of her survivor story. Be sure and also follow her on social media:

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

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All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the podcast and/or BeyondYourPastRadio.com are intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on th

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Our guest today on the podcast, Delisa Richardson, has dedicated her life to finding the balance of living with chronic illness, recovery from being a survivor, being a mom and wife, and working with clients in her coaching business. As she outlines in her bio:

Delisa Richardson Wellness focuses on empowering women to break the chains of trauma and abuse. I work with you to develop Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual balance & wholeness. This will enable you to thrive and live your BEST life! My goal as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach, NLP, EFT practitioner, and Hypnotherapist, is to help break the chains of trauma, end destructive relationships, help you to learn to love yourself not only survive but THRIVE! You will learn how to fully and confidently step into your life purpose.

During our chat, Delisa and I talk about some of her survivor story, which started around the 9 and lasted until she was 13. She shares how and why she kept her abuse a secret and how it affected her all throughout her teenage years and into early adulthood, especially in the area of relationships.

• You'll learn the circumstances that transpired which lead her to seek the help of a therapist, what it was like to verbalize for the first time, out loud, that she was a survivor of abuse.
• Delisa talks about the struggles of being in abusive relationships, both physically and verbally, as a result of childhood trauma, and how the events of her past affected her ability to seek out healthy relationships and enforce boundaries.
• We discuss the importance of releasing the shame and guilt that comes with being a survivor of childhood trauma, and how recording her own voice, by listening to how she talked to herself; internalizing all of the shame and blame, helped her move forward and break that cycle.
• Her life with inflammatory bowel disease, and how living with chronic pain and illness can be traced back to the childhood trauma she experienced.
• We discuss how healing from trauma is a life long battle and the hope that comes from putting in the hard work of healing so you can live the life you want and be the person you want to be.
• Releasing yourself from the need to try and control the people around you or the events in your life, and how the process of healing helps you release that need and realize that you actually have very little control over most of your life.

You can find Delisa on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter just search for "Delisa Richardson Wellness"

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
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If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on Beyond Your Past Radio and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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Even in today's world, where mental health is becoming more mainstream to talk about, there's still a stigma surrounding those dreaded two words. Even more than that, what about the judgemental mindset that comes with admitting you've attempted suicide, or live with chronic suicidality?

It's for those very reasons that I wanted to bring Frank King, The Mental Health Comedian, onto the podcast so we can discuss not only some of his story and his work, but primarily in hopes of helping at least one person start a conversation that could make the difference between being alive today, and gone tomorrow.

Frank King, aka The Mental Health Comedian, is a Suicide Prevention and Postvention Public Speaker and Trainer who turned a lifelong battle with depression into a keynote worth spreading. His mission is to end the stigma surrounding mental health by sharing his insights with anyone and everyone who will listen in an effort to “start the conversation.”

Frank uses comedy and personal life lessons to help break the ice and start an engaging conversation amongst those struggling with mental and emotional stability. This act of faith helps those struggling to find a voice to express themselves. He believes that where there is humor there is hope. And where there is laughter there is life… Nobody dies laughing.

During our chat, Frank shares how he got started as a comedian, speaker, and trainer, and how he's able to use his own life experiences to create a sense of support and understanding for those who struggle, and those who are supporting them. He talks about living with chronic suicidality, and how that affects even the most normal of everyday circumstances.

The stories Frank shares of his experiences throughout his life are sure to not only move you deeply but also make you smile and laugh...a combination you don't see very much in the world of mental health and suicide prevention.

If you get the opportunity to see Frank King perform, please don't pass up the opportunity. He's an amazing guy who has dedicated his life to helping people stay on this planet, one day at a time. Be sure and head over to TheMentalHealthComedian.com and follow him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, & YouTube.

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on Beyond Your Past Radio and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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This topic of an unhealthy or abusive relationship in therapy is not something you probably hear about every day, and unless you've experienced it personally or know someone who has, you may not even know it's actually a thing. My guest on the podcast today, Analie Shepherd, has experienced this type of abuse first hand, has written a book detailing her experiences and healing and speaks at conferences and with therapists on this topic.

Analie joined the podcast previously back in 2017, where she first shared some of her experiences and gave us some insight into the world of healing from an abusive therapy experience. Today we continue that discussion as Analie shares a recap of her story and discusses more in-depth some of the more pertinent aspects of what abusive in therapy actually is, how to recognize it, and what healing looks like.

From her website, MendingtheShatteredMirror.com - During the last four years, I have fulfilled one of my life dreams! I am a published author! For many years, friends have encouraged me to write the story of my life. Recently, I went through a traumatic experience, and have struggled to reclaim my life. This struggle became the motivation to finally write my story.

Mending the Shattered Mirror chronicles the life-shattering abuse I suffered in psychotherapy, but also tells the life-affirming story of my search for healing and wholeness. Within the pages of this book, I have included my remarkable life journey--the sometimes tragic, sometimes triumphant, story of me!

During our chat on healing from abuse in therapy, we cover:

• Analie shares a recap of her story on how and why she first sought the help of a therapist.
• How the abuse in therapy began and continued for 4 years. In addition, why she stayed in the environment for so long before finally being able to leave and begin healing.
• How to recognize the signs of a potentially unhealthy or outright abusive relationship with a therapist; they aren't as recognizable as you might think.
• Why it's not a bad thing for a client to long for a deeper relationship with their therapist, and the importance of the therapist being able to maintain the boundaries of a professional relationship.
• Are there dangers in showing any type of affection, even innocently, between a patient and their therapist?
• Working through the shame and self-blame that comes with realizing you were a victim of abuse in therapy.
• Things you can do to address concerns with your therapist or other helping professional.

You can purchase Analie's book, Mending the Shattered Mirror, A Story of Recovery from Abusive Therapy, on Amazon. Be sure and also follow her on Twitter: @AnalieShepherd

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
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If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on Beyond Your Past Radio and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersed

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Our guest today is an expert in the field of helping communities heal after mass shootings and other trauma's, and she shares some of her insight and experiences with us on this episode of the podcast. Melissa Glaser, MS, LPC is a community response and recovery leader. She was the coordinator of the Newtown Recovery and Resiliency Team (NRRT) from 2014 to 2016. Glaser is currently in private practice as a psychotherapist and actively consults with other organizations and communities. Previously, Glaser has served as a clinical and behavioral health director to several Connecticut non-profit organizations.

Melissa is the author of, "Healing a Community: Lessons for Recovery after a Large-Scale Trauma", which outlines the twenty months spent in Newtown, Connecticut as the leader of the Newtown Recovery and Resilience Team. Her task as the leader of this team was to address the emotional impact and guide the mental health response after a gunman killed twenty children and six adults at Newtown's Sandy Hook Elementary School in December 2012. 

Our chat with Melissa does not cover the issue of gun control, nor was that the intent of bringing her on to the podcast. Rather, we wanted to talk about the ways that we as every day people can help a community heal from such a tragedy; providing insight into the needs of survivors and their families and outlining some of the struggles that face not only the community but also the first responders and mental health professionals.

• Understanding that healing from mass trauma is an ongoing process. Recovery and support teams of mental health professional and first responders are often actively in place for at least the first 21 months after the trauma.
• The various stages of recovery and healing from a mass trauma, including the crisis management stage, the consequence stages, and more.
• The need for multiple different modalities of support. Many survivors are not able to utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and other similar modalities due to not being able to express their needs verbally, immediately after a trauma. Other supportive methods including art therapy, music therapy, acupuncture, and yoga can be vital to helping survivors feel grounded.
• The challenge of dealing with the media after a mass shooting. How their desire to get a story out by asking survivors and family members to talk about what happened can cause a tremendous amount of guilt, confusion, and anxiety.  In addition, Melissa shares how the vulnerability in sharing is often caused by a need to talk about the victim because of the fear of not being heard later, especially due to so many emotions in play immediately after a tragic event takes place.
• The agenda of politicians to try and portray a community that will be ok, that will heal, and pick up the pieces. That message of unity, while likely done with the best of intentions can have a negative effect due to the time it takes to heal and trust that's been shattered.
• The challenge of survivors guilt. When the community is portrayed as a group that is strong and resilient; that guilt of not feeling ok can cause survivors to be afraid or ashamed to ask for help because they are still struggling.
• What have learned from past mass shootings, and are we improving in our responsiveness and providing access to resources and support for victims and their families.

We appreciate Melissa Glaser's willingness to come on the podcast and share her insight on this topic that affects us all so much. You can learn more about her work as a counselor and her book, on her website, MelissaGlaser.com.

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When you come to a point in healing from your past, from all of the abuse, the trauma, the years of suffering, you may come to a point where you just break down, fall to your knees, and cry out for help. That's exactly what our guest on this episode of the podcast did, and the answers she received were life-changing.

Karen Cesario Rizzo is a spiritual coach, clairvoyant, and author: Having experienced tragedy and pain as a young child, I knew I felt different. But I always knew I was being protected by angels. I could hear them, feel them, speak to them and see them at an early age. After many years, I made the decision to lift the veil of pain and fear. It was a painful process I had to endure. As a result, I began experiencing increased psychic awareness beyond what I could comprehend. The journey has been amazing.

During our chat with Karen, we talked about her unique survivor story and the journey of healing that lead her to be in a place of writing two books so far, and sharing her clairvoyant gifts and experiences with others through her coaching program:

• How she endured sexual abuse at the age of 7, from her father who was also an alcoholic and later took his own life.
• The breaking point that she came too that literally had her on her knees crying out for help and answers, and the life-changing results that came with that cry for help.
• How she learned that she could talk to angels and the healing benefits she experienced as a result; as well as how she began to develop this gift.
• The importance of peeling off each layer of pain, sitting with those feelings, and learning how to heal them through counseling and therapy.
  • What you learn about yourself throughout that process
• Working through the shame, pain, and victimization that comes with being a survivor so you can learn to see yourself through the eyes of love.
• How radical acceptance can play such an important role in healing from your past.

Be sure and follow Karen Cesario Rizzo on her website and on Twitter: @KCesarioRizzo  and Facebook: FlyingOnEaglesWings

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
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3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on Beyond Your Past Radio and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Support the show