Beyond Your Past Radio

So what can we do? How can we identify a relationship that is filled with emotional abuse? Is there a way to see it and get out before more damage is done and heal more compassionately and efficiently once it's over? What can we do to help ourselves in the future, to enforce healthy boundaries and not let someone take over our very existence?

Liz Goddard returns on this episode of the podcast to dive deeper into healing from an emotionally abusive relationship. Elizabeth is an Author, Spiritual Life Coach, Soul Transformation Therapist, Soul Plan Reader, and Reiki Master Teacher; training with the Holistic Healing College in London. She works with women to help them understand why they attract abusive relationships and helps them heal the ORIGINAL wound. She believes that by healing the original wound you can feel whole, something you may never have experienced and allow you to take charge of your life.

During our chat, Liz shares about her upcoming new book, "The A to Z of Emotional Abuse", and how the key to healing lies in understanding. In her new book, she takes the approach of education and learning about what emotional abuse is, in order to not only identify it but also to heal.

• How cognitive dissonance and gaslighting can go hand in hand in an abusive relationship, and consequently literally damage our brain from the emotional trauma.
• Understanding who exactly is to blame for the emotional abuse, and working through the urge to self-shame.
• What role did you play in the relationship, and what you can you learn from it without interpreting the events in a way that causes you to take on all of the blame?
• What is a manufactured soulmate and how can that mindset keep us stuck in the emotionally abusive relationship? For that matter, the importance of understanding that the toxic relationship itself is a manufactured relationship in the first place?
• How to recognize if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship; the key to understanding what's happening.
• Idealization and Devaluation phases of a relationship, and how the toxic partner will use your ideals against you to manipulate you.

Learn more about Elizabeth Goddard, her ROAR program to Help Heal from Emotional Abuse, her Free Meditations available, her upcoming book, and more, over on her website ReviveYourSoul.co.uk

Be sure and also follow her on Twitter , Facebook and Instagram .

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

*Source - https://www.dictionary.com/browse/can-t-see-the-forest-for-the-trees

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So what does that hope actually look like, what does it feel like? Well, I'm glad you asked because our guest on this episode of the podcast is Monique Koven, Trauma-Informed Recovery & Resilience Coach.

I have worked for over 25 years as a social worker where I worked with older adults, many of whom were Holocaust survivors. As a survivor of ongoing, repetitive childhood trauma, I know what it's like to believe that things will never change. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and chronic PTSD. I was always trying to find the right therapy to provide some relief and finally "fix" me. Over the years, I tried well over 15 therapeutic modalities, but nothing ever helped. I lived with chronic anxiety, fear, and distressing daily PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks, disassociation, and triggering. Waking up with feelings of dread at the thought of a new day and then living it in constant anxiety. Every. Single. Day. I was told that trauma and anxiety were going to be with me for the long haul and that I would have to learn coping strategies to manage my symptoms. I believed it. Until... everything changed.

I have found complete freedom and am living my life fully without anything holding me back. I drive wherever I want, I take risks and step into things I never dreamed possible, and I feel at ease in my own body and mind. No more waking up in dread at the thought of another day. And the best part was that I didn’t need any tools or techniques.

I can help you step back into your innate power and peace of mind. There is hope. Change is possible.

During our chat with Monique, we talk about:

• Monique shares some of her past and the struggles she felt growing up in an abusive home.
  • How she managed to try and feel safe in an environment full of chaos and violence.
• As she grew up, the challenges of seemingly having a perfect life but feeling pulled back into her past.
• Is it actually possible to fully heal from CPTSD and PTSD; and if so, what does that look like?
• Finding balance during your healing and what it means to go to both ends of the spectrum during healing work.
• Why is it important to have someone witness and validate your story.

If you're interested in learning more about Monique's coaching programs, be sure and check out MoniqueKovenCoaching.com,  Facebook & Instagram.

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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Your survivor story, the way you live it every day, and the way you tell it to others, evolves throughout the various stages of healing. Each version is your truth, as you experienced it in the past and how you live in the present. Each stage of healing represents how you've grown and how much you learn about yourself; and so naturally the details, the way you live each day, and the way you tell it, changes and evolves with you.

On this episode of the podcast, we're talking about this very thing; learning how to tell your survivor story, as well as forming relationships with others after your trauma. Rachel Grant, Sexual Abuse Survivor Coach, is a regular on Beyond Your Past Radio, and I'm honored to have her join me today as I share a chat we had recently.

Rachel Grant is a Sexual Abuse Survivor Coach, with an M.A. in Counseling Psychology. Her website, RachelGrantCoaching.com features not only her individual and group work with survivors, but also her book “Beyond Surviving”, Facebook Group, Master Class, and free and low-cost Audible Downloads covering topics such as Shame, Boundaries, Abandonment, and much more.

It's always a privilege to talk with Rachel on the show; her message of healing is always encouraging and filled with hope for how we can move forward from the trauma and abuse, and be more than a survivor. We can Thrive!

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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Joanne and I share some thoughts on self-doubt during this episode of the podcast. Her new book, "Ditch Your Doubt" gives you practical insight into how self-doubt is manifested in your life and ways you can overcome it.

How is self-doubt presenting in your life? Are there strategies you’ve tried that just don’t work? There’s a reason for that; every event in life is a learning experience for your brain. What we teach ourselves, what we’ve been taught (consciously or otherwise), the people we interact with in daily life, it’s all connected and can all foster this mindset of perpetuating self-doubt and feeling stuck.

There is hope, there are ways to work through this and retrain your brain to default to new pathways, new mindsets, and a more positive, authentic outlook on not only who you are, but what your capable of, and the way you see others.

Read more on this on the blog post over on BeyondYourPastRadio

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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June is self-worth month here on the podcast. We started off talking with the UK's leading confidence coach and transformational mentor, Amy Rushworth, as she shared some of her story and talked about how finding your voice is in direct relation to self-confidence and developing your self-worth. After that, we shared some thoughts on how you are the one that gets to define who you are, and what you're about; your worth is not dependent on anyone or anything. So if you haven’t checked out those two episodes you’ll want to go back after this one and give em a listen.

Continuing on with the self-worth theme, we’re talking with returning guest and friend, Brian Cardoza. Brian is an author, artist, and national speaker, using his platform to help share the message of his survivor story and encourage both men and women to take that first step of seeking help to work through a traumatic past.

Brian’s message of hope, presented in such an authentic, genuine, and down-to-earth way, is inspiring because he’s able to relate to the unique struggles that survivors go through, including the silence and shame that keeps them stuck and feeling unable to reach out for help.

We talk with Brian about his survivor story and get into a deep discussion about the struggles of survivors who are trying to find their voice and reach out for help. Throughout our chat, with Brian, you’ll notice how we use some well-timed, and improvisational humor to help illustrate that while this work is deep, powerful, difficult, and necessary, there is hope in healing and all of that work hard pays off.

Plus, near the end of the podcast, in true Brian Cardoza form, he drops a nugget of wisdom that will result in a future episode on the topic of bringing awareness to "coercive rape" and the pressure that both men and women feel when it comes to intimacy. Believe me, friend, this one will definitely cause you to pause and ponder his take on this delicate subject. 

Please consider sharing your voice to help shape the direction of the podcast, by taking our Listener Survey. It only takes a couple of minutes and is completely anonymous. 

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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In keeping with the theme of Self-Worth, that we have going right now for June 2019, I wanted to share my thoughts what exactly our self-worth is tied too. It's an interesting question to ponder if you pause and think about it for a minute. What things in your life are you maybe tieing your worth to as a human being?

• Your Job or Career
• Getting a promotion
• Achieving a particular goal
• Being a parent
• A spouse
• A hobby
• Your house, Your Car, Your Possessions...

Insert whatever you want... but consider taking stock of how much of your well being, your personality, your existence, your purpose, you put into those things..and how is that serving you? How does that make you feel, how does that inspire you?

How temporary, or volatile are those things...are you always striving to live up to a standard of someone else, and if so, how's that working out for you?

I share some thoughts on the importance of tying your self-worth, your reason for being on this planet, to only you. Not allowing anyone or anything to dictate who you are, how you should act, where you focus your time, efforts, and resources. Understanding that relationships, hobbies, friendships, careers, possessions, and the like...are all well and good, there's nothing wrong with any of those things, as long as you always know that you are amazing, worthy, capable, and important just for being you.

Thanks for listening, and please consider sharing this episode with 1 person who might benefit from it.

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

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During my chat with Amy Rushworth on this episode of the podcast, we are talking about how self-confidence is born, developed, and honed throughout your life experiences. It's those experiences that help you find your voice, which is discovered by developing your self-confidence; and your self-confidence is born out of everything you've been through in your past, and continues to develop as you live your life.

Amy Rushworth is the UK's leading Confidence Coach & Transformational Mentor. She helps her clients and those who take her programs, to ignite their confidence, fire up their self-worth, and get their sparkle back.

During our chat with Amy, you'll hear how she came to a pivotal point in her life of realizing she needed more out of her life than what she originally thought. She was checking off the boxes; a wonderful relationship, apartment on the beach, glamorous fashion career, and so on but there was something missing, and her body was beginning to show her this in ways she never expected.

• Through some difficult medical circumstances, she was left with plenty of time to reflect, and knew it was time to make a change.
• She shares how being in a place of true acceptance and self-love, helps her be in tune with what her body and mind are telling her. 
• We discuss how gratitude opens your heart and rewires your brain, and that rewiring is essential in developing confidence and self-worth. She shares helpful strategies for starting your own gratitude journal and making it a part of your life, every day.
• We talk about the importance of getting to the root of limiting beliefs to help change the maladaptive coping skills that hold you back and keep you stuck. 

There's so much more during our chat with Amy, so be sure and check out the podcast by scrolling up and clicking that play button, or on your favorite podcast app. You can learn more about Amy's programs at AmyRushworth.com, and follow her on Instagram, and Facebook.

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It's funny how things work out in life, and I don't mean funny haha, but more like funny strange, or funny interesting. 

In this episode of Mobile Musings, sponsored by Beyond Your Past Radio, I look back at an episode I recorded 3 years ago, and wouldn't you know it..it's as relevant today as it was then. 

The struggles unfolding all around us in government, world violence, a divided nation and really divided world on so many fronts, can take its toll on your emotional health. These volatile times, the same as back then, can very easily steal your joy and bring down your outlook on humanity overall as well as the potential in your own life.  

For that matter, not even just 3 years ago, but these struggles have been around in various forms for decades, and one can make a case for these things being around since pretty much, forever. Times change, technology changes, and we just don't seem to learn from our past in some areas.  You know how that old saying goes, right?

So I hope you'll enjoy this look back at my thoughts on embracing the good the people around you, sharing a smile, and finding ways to rid yourself of the negativity in your life so can embrace everything wonderful about you and those around you. 

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Support the show

Problems falling asleep, staying asleep, getting enough sleep, feeling sleepy during the day...any of these ring a bell as something you struggle with? If you're one of the 50-70 million people in the U.S. alone that suffer from a sleep disorder, you can definitely relate. Even if you aren't diagnosed with a specific sleep disorder, problems falling asleep and getting enough sleep can still be an issue.*

Dr. Mendelson joined us back in episode 104, where we talked about Antidepressants, PTSD, and Taking an Active Role in Your Treatment. After that chat, we talked about his work in the area of sleep, and I thought it would be a great idea to bring him back again to talk about this important topic.

Dr. Wallace Mendelson is currently in the clinical practice of psychiatry. He was formerly Professor of Psychiatry and Clinical Pharmacology at the University of Chicago. At that time, he was also Director of the Sleep Research Laboratory there. Dr. Mendelson earned an MD degree from Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis and completed a residency in psychiatry at the same institution.  He has held professorships at Ohio State University and the State University of New York at Stony Brook, was Chief of the Section on Sleep Studies at the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, MD, and Director of the Sleep Disorders Center at the Cleveland Clinic. 

Among his honors is the William C. Dement Academic Achievement Award from the American Sleep Disorders Association as well as the Special Award in Sleep and Psychiatry from the National Sleep Foundation, and he is a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. In 1997, he was President of the Sleep Research Society. Dr. Mendelson has authored or co-authored three books, and co-edited another,  and published over 190 peer-reviewed papers on various aspects of sleep research. 

During our chat, Dr. Mendelson shares his insight about sleep, including some of his research and information contained in his latest books, The Science of Sleep and Understanding Sleeping Pills.

• When you sleep, it's a very active time both for your body and your mind, as it goes through many stages while you are asleep.
• Processing, cataloging, and storing memories, and how emotional healing can also take place during sleep.
• Can you actually make up for lost sleep by trying to sleep in longer or going to bed earlier?
• Needing more sleep as you get older, and the difficulty in functioning without proper sleep each night.
• Types of sleep disorders: including disorders that affect falling asleep, staying asleep, excessive sleep, and abnormal behaviors while sleeping.
• Therapy modalities available to help with insomnia and other sleep disorders, including CBTI (cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia).
• How phones and tablets can have a dramatic impact on falling asleep and the quality of sleep we get.

Thank you to Dr. Wallace Mendelson for coming back as a guest on this episode of the podcast

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Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. This relates to the law of averages, which is the theory that the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes. When it comes to relationships, we are greatly influenced — whether we like it or not — by those closest to us. It affects our way of thinking, our self-esteem, and our decisions. Of course, everyone is their own person, but research has shown that we're more affected by our environment than we think.

Not only in relationships, but that train of thought can apply to virtually any aspect of your personal or professional life. So the challenge then becomes, not only keeping your individuality (which is a podcast for another time) but also if you are influenced by others to any degree, being selective about the people you hang out with becomes paramount.

That is the topic of this Mobile Musing episode, where I reflect back to our chat with Tiffany Toombs, on the power of reframing your limiting beliefs to change your life. During that chat, we talk not only about reframing, and what that is, but also about the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people. We discuss the importance of enforcing healthy boundaries and being selective about those who are not only in your inner circle but also in acquaintances and other relationship levels.

You may not be able to choose your colleagues, for example, but you can choose how much you own and internalize their comments and how much you allow them to influence your mindsets. If they are a negative influence, if they don't help you feel encouraged and empowered, then perhaps limiting exposure to them outside of the necessary meetings and such, may be something to consider.

The same goes with friends and family members, of all levels:

• Do the people you spend time with make you feel good about yourself?
• Do they help encourage you in a genuine way? Are their comments uplifting?
• Are they there to listen and validate your struggles, without having to "fix" you or always give advice?
• Do you truly feel better about yourself when you're in their company?

These types of questions are at the heart of ensuring that you not only feel inspired and encouraged but safe and supported. Of course, not everyone can live up those standards, and not everyone has the ability to relate to every aspect of your life, so it's important to have a diverse group that can be there to meet specific needs at any given time. And, in turn, you can be the very best support person for those in your life.

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplem

Support the show