Bible Beaters – Canada Comedy

EP95 (Judges 5) Back from Israel Caleb gets right back to trolling Facebook. The bible beaters wade into the federal election with some very progressive ideas. We read the song of Deborah which is very confusing to Kyle. We learn about some writing problems with ancient Hebrew. Caleb breaks down how argue against a Christian. A listener asks us about salvation and the rigamarole surrounding the crucifixion.

EP94 (Judges 5) A live podcast from the holy land with Simeon Campbell as a guest. Caleb and sim tell us about the places and historical sites they visited and about some of the jesus freaks they are stuck with. Very little bible reading is accomplished.

Bonus EP2

EP93 (Judges 3-4) Kyle’s buddy demonstrates how not to do a best man speech. The bible beaters discuss the merits of young children being needed in heaven. Next we learn of 3 total bad-ass judges Othniel, Ehud, Shamgar. Othniel was a great general, Ehud stabbed a really fat guy, and Shamgar killed 600 people with an ox goad. Finally, we learn of the first feminist in the bible. Deborah does the job no man wanted to do. We get more emails about the origin of the universe.

EP92 (Judges 1-2) Caleb is worried about government intervention in his relationship and has a negative interaction with hecklers at a show. Kyle remembers when he was good at hockey. God tries to help the Jews except their enemies have iron chariots which are too powerful. An angel shows up and tells all the Israelites that its just a matter of time before they get on gods bad side.

A listener sends us a fantastic email, causing our hosts to question their perceptions of reality. This email suggests that all of the different races humanity came from four couples.

EP91 (Joshua 24-Judges 1) Caleb provides a list of things about the bible that are demonstrability false. Once again god re ups on his previous covenant with more of the same. It follows the traditional format of bragging, warnings, blessings, curses and prophecy that things will eventually go to hell. Kyle is at his most annoying in the history of the podcast derailing several interesting conversations. The Isrealites finish the conquest of the promised land in spectacular fashion cutting off the fingers and toes of SEVENTY kings and feed them scraps as the lord commanded in his infinite wisdom and mercy.

EP90 (Joshua 23-24) Caleb and Kyle discuss email scams. Caleb has to go on a 9 hour drive while sick. We meander into the topics of consciousness and personal responsibility about we are too stupid to contribute meaningfully in any way. Joshua is getting old so he makes a big speech about how great god is and reminds them that they are going to sin and god will punish them for. Back in modernity, we discuss how long it will be before the climate apocalypse. A listener sends a very long list of questions and tries to suggest that all of the different races humanity came from 4 couples.

EP89 (Joshua 20-22) Kyle has to fix his ex’s moms computer. Caleb recap’s his trip to Sweden (he even gets backstage with his favorite band). Kyle wets the couch. Caleb re reads and corrects last weeks podcast. Erstwhile, the Israelites continue their conquest into the promise land. To nobody’s surprise some of the tribes start worshiping false idols. Through some good ol’ fashioned nepotism they are able to circumvent the wrath of the merciful creator.

EP88 (Joshua 19-20) A special edition bible beater podcast hosted by Simeon Campbell, the youngest and funniest of the Campbell clan. In this episode they discuss growing up in church,  YWAM, crossing the line, preaching in church, dreams, puking in church, amongst all the other bullshit. Kyle is put off in a game of racist chicken. Simeon reads the passage about cities of refuge and towns for the levites. A listener asks about the population of Israel and divine intervention.

EP87 (Joshua 19) We discuss the ethics of what could be done to meat grown in petri dishes. We talk about if hell is a fair punishment and what heaven would be like. We read a long list of names and places that nobody gives a fuck about.  We get an email asking for a dream interpretation which makes Caleb regret starting the podcast and the dream segment.