The boys discuss bird sperm, Adrian's stellar recollection of GOT character names, and Indigo children. They then tackle advice columns focused on the dual theme of punchable faces and pinchable cheeks. They wrap it up by passing their judgment on trios in the third segment of punch, pinch, pass.

Article 1: Will Penny?

Article 2: Herald-Tribune

https://www.heraldtribune.com/story/news/2013/02/19/should-i-be-worried-about-aggression-in-my-4-year-old/29153779007/

Third seggy: Punch, Pinch, Pass

This is the big one. The boys discuss using native American tribe names for kids groupings, seeing your friends grow up on social media, and Paul’s theory that imposter syndrome doesn’t exist and y’all are actually just a bunch of dummies. Paul and Adrian then tackle columns about mini versions of humans and mini versions of things before Adrian quizzes Paul in a third segment about bad movie summaries.

Article 1: Here’s the Thing

https://1followernodad.substack.com/p/my-ex-is-having-a-baby-and-i-cant

Article 2: NYT’s The Ethicist

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/21/magazine/should-i-speak-up-for-a-pet-pig.html

Third Seggy: Bad Summaries game

https://www.reddit.com/r/ExplainAFilmPlotBadly/

Ready to get schooled? Paul and Adrian talk about learning how to read a calendar, Lexington high school teacher drama, and the origins of the syfy channel. The boys then take on advice columns on addressing your teacher correctly and decorating your classroom for the upcoming year. And then we finally answer the question “are Paul and Adrian smarter than 5th graders?” in our third segment. Make sure to subscribe to our Patreon to get exclusive bonus clips of Adrian reviewing the new Florist album and Paul dissecting the morality of Nathan Fielder’s new show.

Article 1: Care and Feeding

https://web.archive.org/web/20200101153844/https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/05/teacher-yelling-at-students-good-or-bad.html

Article 2: We are Teachers

https://www.weareteachers.com/not-an-instagram-teacher/

3rd Segment: Are Paul and Adrian smarter than a 5th grader?

Gates open: come on in. Paul and Adrian talk about things society needs to normalize, western beauty standards, and Paul’s gem hunting adventures. The boys then field two gatekeeping questions about children’s taste in media and what food humans are allowed to eat. Lastly, they kick back and chill with a lil quiz third segment without keeping score.

Article 1: Basic Dad

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/basic-dad-what-happens-when-my-kid-has-bad-taste-i-e-not-mine

Article 2: Bad Advice

https://www.worcestermag.com/story/opinion/2022/06/01/bad-advice-do-not-shamed-eating-dog-treats/9966185002/

3rd Segment: Guess the gatekeeper from the response comment