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Current Events : Listener Questions : Hot Topics
Vibe of the Week with Special Guest Marina Hayes (The Rose Vibe : link here.)
(Marina is the founder and creator of www.PeridotRobes.com)
Welcome Sydney the Fat_TroublemakrCurrent Events: We discuss how much we love the show on Netflix “How to Build a Sex Room” Melanie Rose is the host and she is the British Naughty Mary Poppins. Merf & Chrystal both LOVE IT! Netflix has a hit on its hands.
Welcome Sydney out very own #Fat_Troublemakr
10:59 Sydney
Time to talk about some serious things, but she wants to definitely try to talk about more fun topics, but right now, thanks to the Roe decision. Sydney goes over Contraception for people with a larger body.
Emergency Contraceptives
Plan B, One Step designed to prevent pregnancy
Efficacy decreases the more you weigh. 155lbs or more READ and RESEARCH before using this product. The pregnancy rate is higher in higher-weight humans. Ella is a NON-HORMONAL product that prevents pregnancy after unprotected sex.
Prescription drug. This drug loses effectiveness at 195lbs. Can be less effective when used with the pill, shot, or ring. What do we do if we are higher than 195lbs?
Copper IUD. Emergency contraception and can work with all bodies.
You have 120 hours (5 days) to have one installed to use in an emergency.
Otherwise, it just serves as your regular b.c.
IUS / IUD typically hormone-based.
Depo-Provera Injection contains hormones. Injected every 3 months. Suppresses ovulation. Does not need to be adjusted for body weight. (Can contribute to bone loss, so be sure to check and research for yourself.)
Vaginal Ring (size of a silver dollar)
Removed and replaced every 3 weeks. (Hormone based.)
Works for all body sizes.
The Patch
Must be under 198 lbs
Sterilization (Irreversible.)
Some states require you to be married.  (barf)
Birth Control Pill
Ask your health provider if efficacy is diminished due to higher weights.
Barrier Methods
Condoms (Assist in providing protection against S.T.I.’s)
26.07Lindley Ashline created an amazing resource for fat babes
Wonder woman created a very comprehensive guide to reproduction resources.
Sydney calls it a “treasure trove” booklet. (Printable)
29.45  Merf introduces the question from our listener
Question:  If you give oral sex, do you also want oral sex in return?
Do you expect reciprocity
33:44 Giving oral sex to your partner should leave you feeling beautiful and empowered. 35:14 Once you give a really good b.j., he will NEVER

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BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

Send us a text

Welcome to Big Sexy Chat!
We start off with a content warning about CNC. (Consensual Non-Consent)
I explained why I missed a couple of weeks thanks to pneumonia. I'm better now.

Merf:  It feels like the end of the world. ALL of the progress that we made have been erased.
Chrystal knows 4 people who have checked themselves into a mental health facility. Life is dark right now. Merf gives us lots of great info about coping skills and all of us just trying to survive. (Supreme Court, Roe v. Wade, Covid, Massacre after massacre.

Reversing Roe v. Wade is taking all of our rights and it includes people who are using IVF to try to have a baby. Trans people will be denied health care. People will continue to get abortions, but they will not be safe. Merf reminded me of the Debbie Reynolds discussion about having to carry a dead baby a few years before Roe v. Wade.

HOPE: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson gives me hope. We need more justices who are in touch with Americans. We need more justices that will NOT force their religion and their beliefs on the rest of us.

I finally saw the 10 million additional white women that voted for Trump the second time. Frightening. So many white young women were excited that Roe v. Wade, And, YOUNG WOMEN.  So gross. I saw them on the news and was so sad. WTAF? Merf tells a story about when she was at work making a presentation and presented to the people that there is sex trafficking in the Sacramento area.  Her audience was sure that there was no sex trafficking in their area.  WILD!

Fat Babe Armor

Chrystal starts the discussion about "performing feminity" and always makes an effort to look nice, look smiley, and be easy to approach. LIke Merf, I always want to smell great so we can dispel the "fat people are stinky" trope. Merf is focused on smelling good and looking approachable, too.  It's so common for all of us to prepare for battle. Many people are "afraid" of fat bodies and they often have this belief that we are MEAN or crabby. Merf and I both agree, that we are VERY nice at first and then if we get pissed off, it's ON!

We talked about how my friend from Fat Brunch (who I believe they may be non-binary) talked about the next level that Black people experience.  They feel they perform being "respectable" due to being Black.  This is very common in marginalized communities due to White Supremacy. In our country, White is the default.  Black fat people who are non-binary or trans have to be in "fight or flight" mode 24/7 due to their skin color and the response they may receive from white people

At about 27 minutes, Merf tells an amazing story about her "butt arm" and an experience when she had an exchange with a woman who told her, at the time, she was fat - but she was the good kind of fat. ALL FAT BODIES deserve respect, dignity, and love. Small

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

Send us a text

Bonus Episode: Merf interviews Tigress and me about our 2 Fat Hysterectomies

Bonus Episode: Heavy Duty Hysterectomies

Welcome Tigress Osborn

Creator of Full Figure Entertainment in Oakland, CA  Tigress now lives in Arizona.

Fat Visibility and Fat Activism since 2008: If you are a fat person and enjoy some type of fat freedom fatties did not have before 2008, it’s likely Tigress had her hand in it. (Along with a lot of other fabulous, loud, no shit style fat activists. Thank you Tigress and to the other 60 years worth of activists that have all been working hard for all of us.

Content Warning:  Numbers mentioned. There is lots of discussion of blood and clots, because, well. It comes with the territory. This is not a SEXY episode, but we feel like it’s an important story to tell. We are two fat women in our 40’s (TO) and 50’s (CB)

We try our best to NOT use gendered language while discussing uteruses and hysterectomies. We are being mindful of our non-binary friends, two-spirit listeners, and trans friends. But, we do slip up or if you notice we slip up, please accept our apologies. (CB and Merf)

4:27 Merf defines and describes the various types of hysterectomies. (CB :  I had a radical style which meant everything was removed, including my cervix.) I had 2 days to decide if I wanted mine. Tigress has a longer experience of dealing with her medical problems around getting her 

Hysterectomy.

Myths and Misconceptions about Hysterectomies. Some of the things we grow up hearing about women who have hysterectomies - we dry up, our vaginas are no longer “good” or useful.

Tigress brings up the tender feeling around going to the “women’s health” departments where there are lots and lots pics of babies and moms and like everything to do with women’s reproductive issues are such a fun, good time! NOT. And, not for everyone. Including, sometimes, not for Tigress. Having a hysterectomy gives you a lot to examine - and one of the big ones is that you never have the opportunity to have your own children. 

7 minutes Tigress goes into her hysterectomy story. She started having a cycle at 11. (The same week she went to the “special talk” in grade school - Free To Be You And Me.) 10 minutes in we discuss some pretty gory stuff around all of the blood clots we have all dealt with. Clots that remind us of animal organs and aliens running down our legs. 

 Perimenopause is 10 years LONG and maybe a little less and maybe a little more. 

Tigress had some fibroids, an ablation, adhesions, PCOS, and possibly endometriosis. Same with Merf. Merf is currently dealing with PCOS, endo, and really want to have a hysterectomy, but is getting push back from her drs.

RESOURCES:  Tigress and I both got a lot of support from

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

Send us a text

Profanity Warning!  I drop a lot of F BOMBS because I am fed up with diet culture and the diet industry and how they work so hard to make us feel shitty about our bodies.  Also, we do get into a discussion about Anorexia and how Fat Babes can also have Anorexia, so content warning about Eating Disorders.

We discuss body shame, shame about sex or feeling horny, shame about sex toys, shame about our ANYTHING, and EVERYTHING. We hope this podcast helps you to overcome your own fat shame. 

We decided that we really needed to address the Buffalo and Uvalde (and other) massacres to hold space and we discuss how sad and made we have both been. Merf shares with us how important self-care is when the FUCKING WORLD IS ON FIRE!

As always, Merf and I are pretty clear about how disgusted we are by the diet industry and this is a theme that runs through all of our episodes. We are both diet industry dropouts and we are unapologetically fat.  We are sex-positive, fat positive, sex work positive, anti-racist, and Black Lives Matter. We are PRO responsible gun ownership (and NO ONE needs to own an a.r. unless you are in the military) and so disgusted by how many children are murdered in our country by guns the murderer bought just hours before they go on their rampages.

A friend of the show sent in a question about DATING WHILE FAT and how she often cancels dates right before they meet because she is anxious about the other person not approving of her body. She feels like she might be catfishing them, so she just doesn't show up.

Merf and I share some tactics we have used to STOP apologizing for our bodies. I share a dating story about how I put it ALL OUT THERE on my dating profile along with my least favorite pics so my date would be happily surprised when I arrived. I also talk about what I say about SEX in my dating profile. (This was when my sweetie and I had a re-boot.)

Merf has P.C.O.S. and she talks about her shame and guilt with her facial hair. Merf also shares how her anorexia screwed up her body permanently. It impacted her height (she should have been taller) and it also impacted her breast size. According to her doctors, she should have had larger cups.)
 
We also talked about some femmes that rock their beards and I want to link to them here. These babes have hirsutism and some due to P.C.O.S.

In the beginning, Merf also shares a book by Malcolm Gladwell she highly recommends. The book is called "Talking To Strangers" and Merf talks about it in the discussion and shares with us all about the theory and how it related to our country's obsession with guns. Malcolm's theory is called the

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

Send us a text

Polyamory is our topic for this episode and we were so delighted to have Sydney on our podcast to help dispel Polyamory Myths. 

Sydney LIVES the polyamorous life. She has a husband she nests with. She has a wife who is her bestie and she is married to her, but they do not have sex. And, she has two male partners in her polycule. And, they all practice radical honesty - which is the key to almost all relationships. And, radical honesty is REQUIRED if you are polyamorous.  She very clearly describes it and shares with us how she LIVES this life. 

Some of you may remember Sydney from a Curvy Girl fashion show a few years back where she dressed as a bride. FABULOUS! She was a show-stopper.

We had about 10 to 15 questions from listeners and friends and we went through the whole list of questions and asked her a few others.

We had a discussion about compersion and jealousy and she shares her theories about jealousy and compersion. 

We discussed the fact that poly people come in all ages, all sizes, all skin colors. (Although Sydney would like to see more Black representation in the poly world soon, but we will get into that next time we interview Sydney and discuss Polyamoury 201.

DO NOT UNICORN HUNT is very firm advice Sydney strongly believes can be damaging to the unicorn and cause some trauma. Be honest. Are you a swinger or poly? Be honest with yourself and your future partners.

We discuss if people who are poly are kinky or not.

Resources from Sydney:

1. More Than Two  Author: Veaux, Franklin, Rickert, Eve
2. PoleSecure Author:  Jessica Fern
3. Love is Not Color Blind: Ruby Bouie Johnson
4. Sydney also recommends a podcast and blog called Polyphia.blog.
Happy Polydays with Leanne Yau

Merf, Sydney, and I are very married to the idea that none of us are in any place 
to judge how people live their lives. NO JUDGEMENT. If Polyamory is not for you,
just move along. 

Polyamory requires ALOT of talking and communication. NO LIES. Radical honesty,
no deception, no surprises.

We also discussed the meaning of metamour, fluid bonded, polycule, processing, kitchen table polyamory, and so much more. 

Merf also recommended a book that is a recourse that discusses how poly relationships
have been around longer than most of us and in hundreds of cultures. I will get that title and add it here, soon. 

Thanks a million to our guest Sydney for her time and expertise. Thanks to the best co-host, Merf and to our fabulous (and poly) editor, Asherlee.

Our sponsor is my sex toy website:  www.Blissconnection.com

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

Send us a text

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

Send us a text

**Content Warning**
Please note at the [44:00] minute mark, dieting and bodybuilding are briefly discussed. If these topics are a trigger for you, please take care of yourself and skip ahead to the minute mark [48:00].

http://www.MistressJStudios.com

Our podcast website is http://www.BigSexyChat.com where you can find our other podcasts.

My sex toy website is http://www.BlissConnection.com

In this episode, Merf and I interview my friend Mistress J about her career as a professional dominatrix.

We had so many questions for Mistress J.

Mistress J also tells us a bit of background on Bondassage.com and Elysium as taught to her by the creator and amazing human,  Ms. Jaeleen Bennis. 

We asked her about the following:

Do clients ever just want to cuddle?

What kinds of kinks and fetishes do your clients have.

What type of session with your clients are your favorite?

Why do people have a foot fetish or a tickle fetish?

How long are your typical sessions?

Do your clients sometimes want to talk instead of play?

Are you dominant in your personal life? Have you always been
more on the dom side?

How did you get started in this industry?

What kinds of toys and gear to you have for your submissives?

This was such a fantastic interview. If you ever wanted to learn more
about what actually happens in a session with a professional dominatrix,
this is the perfect episode to tune in to. 

Merf, Mistress J, and I all agree that Sex Work is REAL WORK and that, personally,
I feel that sex work should be legalized and normalized. It's been around since the beginning
of time and it's not going anywhere. Let's make sure our sex workers are receiving
benefits like health insurance, disability, and social security benefits.

We hope you enjoy our chat. It was a blast to chat with Mistress J. 

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

Send us a text

Big Sexy Chat Podcast: Episode 5 we spend a lot of time talking about foreplay and our favorite lubricants. We discuss lubes for handies, piv, and best lube for anal sex. 

Merf tells us how much she is loving Lizzo's new reality show - and how their reality show formula is about building each other up and not tearing each other down. How refreshing. The show is called "Let's Hear It For the Big Grrrls."  

Personally, I am loving the show, too.  I am 3 episodes in so far. And, I have seen a lot of people commenting on her show on FB and IG and so far I have not seen one negative review. 

We also discuss Lizzo's upcoming product called Yitty and it looks to be a collaboration between her and Fablestics and she is making sizes 6x to XS. She is making loungewear and something she is calling shapewear. Not really sure if it's designed to cinch you in or smooth you out. It officially drops on April 12th, so we will find out.

We had a listener write it o ask us what to do about a lover who is not good at foreplay and she wants to know how to broach the topic with him without hurting their feelings. We have quite a bit of good advice and ideas for everyone who listens. 

I also talked about how much I loved the show "The Principles of Pleasure" on Netflix and how most of the people who were narrating seemed to be FAT BABES. (Not sure of their pronouns, so not guessing.)  There was one more straight-sized person narrating, too.  And, Emily Nagosek who writes fab books about pleasure for clitoris owners!

We both wish all high school kids could be forced to watch this since it teaches  PLEASURE and not just  your typical SAFE SEX, DO NOT GET AN STD, DO NOT GET PREGNANT ridiculous education we get about sex in high school.

Our next episode we are interviewing a friend of mine who is a professional Dominatrix, so if you have any questions for her, send them to [email protected]  

Be sure to follow us on FB, IG or Twitter.  We are BigSexyChat on FB and IG, but @bigsexychatpod on Twitter. 

And, feel free to email us to suggest other topics for our fat podcast! 

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

Send us a text

Episode 4: Merf & I chit-chat about ENTHUSIASTIC  consent, BDSM, Kink, and all kinds of other fun. 

We also discuss Renee Zelwegget wearing a fat suit in her lastest fatphobic role.  I despise anyone wearing a fat suit. There are plenty of fat actors to hire. It's gross and should NEVERs be done - EVER. It's never ok. 

Thanks to a listener question, we had a fantastic discussion about fetishizing bodies; How to decide if your partner or date is fetishizing you are really into ALL of you?  We also chatted a bit about how sometimes people PREY on fat babes and choose to PREY on us because they think we are "easy" and will settle for any kind of attention. I get a little bit heated about this topic.  Never SETTLE! 

Fat Fetish? Is it ever ok?

At the beginning of the episode, we discuss Ady Bryant's 10  year anniversary on SNL and her new voice role on the new show Human Resources. 

Merf also told us about the new show LIZZO is the creator of. It's a reality show where Lizzo and her team are interviewing other "Big Grrrl" dancers to be back up dancers on her tour. It is on Amazon Prime Video and there are 8 episodes. Excited to check it out as well as the new season of Bridgerton. 

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!

Send us a text

This is our very first interview with a guest. We had a great time chatting with the creator of the Adipostivity Project, Substantia Jones. 

We had a few sound issues, but thanks to our fabulous editor, it sounds great.  Thank you, Asherlee. We appreciate you.

If you would like to be photographed for the Adipositivity Project, you can email Substantia at adipositivity @ gmail.com - No fat shamers, assholes, or jerks, please. 

Substantia also shared a few fun stories about awkward sex stories, fabulous sex toys, and some of her amazing exotic locations from past photoshoots.

If you struggle with loving your fat body, fill your feed on IG and FB with other fat people. 

If you are like us and you LOVE and APPRECIATE all of Substantia's work to make fat people of all gender expressions, donate to her Patreon here:  https://www.patreon.com/adipositivity

Email us if you have any questions or want to share with us.  [email protected]
 

Support the show

BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at [email protected].

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod

Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)

Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.

Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!