BindTortureKast

Hello there.  How are you doing?  Bad?  Why "bad"?  Oh, it must be because you've already listened to the 145th episode of this fucking wretched show, BindTortureKast. I am sorry for you.  For the REST of you; as part of my never-ending quest to alienate everyone and ensure nobody will ever like us or consider us "cool" enough to be "REAL horror" fans, I have decided that we would be reviewing "The Road" this week.  No, its not "The Road" film based on that book that had everyone talking some years ago.  The one with that guy, from that trilogy.  With the elves and stuff.  Not THAT one.  No, this one was a Filipino flick with the same name, directed by a young guy named Yam Laranas, and it also had a few people talking back when it was having its initial screenings some years back.  I saw it, I dug it, and besides the bullshit I listed above, there is a very specific reason I wanted to do it for this week.  Feel free to skip it and come back next week (or never at all), but hopefully you guys dig this episode.

Music on this episode (in order of appearance);

“Not In A Lifetime”-Every New Dead Ghost

“The Road From Recovery”-Woe

"Threshold Of The Miraculous"-Blut aus Nord

Hello everybody, and welcome to the 144th episode of the world's shittiest podcast (seriously, we have taken polls), BindTortureKast.  For this one, we are checking out the new flick, "I Am Not A Serial Killer".  Have you seen it?  No?  Well maybe you should, before you listen to us (or at lest me) go on about how cool it is.  Once you have, c'mon back and you'll gasp in horror as our views don't mirror your own.  You may think we are "fake horror fans" or "poseurs", and you'd be right.  We actually FUCKING HATE horror films.  These last 3+ years and 144 episodes have all been a way for us to come to terms with how scared of horror (and life) we are.  We think you people are weird, what with your tattoos and your pierced everythings.  We hear you are all the Devil's children, dancing in the moonlight, dousing your tiddly-bits in goat's blood, speaking in tongues.  Smoking your drugs.  You should all be ashamed.

Music on this episode (in order of appearance);

“Craving For Another Killing”-Hypocrisy

“The Kill”-Birmingham 6

“Kill The Assholes”-S.O.D

Hey kids, and boy have you picked a fun episode to tune into, or reluctantly overhear.  For the 143rd episode of this weekly shit-mess, BindTortureKast, we are stepping back in time to review John Carpenter's "In The Mouth Of Madness".  Now, you may be asking yourself, "Why, Chris? Why would you want to include a mainstream release on your indie, underground, extreme horror podcast?".  I have two replies to this; One, I haven't called us that in a very long time, because its far too limiting and stupid and I am sorry I ever did.  Seriously.  Two, Why the fuck not?  Its a cool fucking film, is directed by one of the genre-greats, and managed to nail Lovecraft better than most other films (without even being based on his writings directly).  So thats why!  Also, we just covered "Atroz" last week, and felt we could use a "break"...

Music on this episode (in order of appearance);

“Mouth Of Madness”-Red Harvest

“Scions Of The Blackened Soul”-Dawn Of Relic

“Mortal”-Frontline Assembly

Greetings everyone, and thanks for daring to subject yourself to the awful sounds and (in the future, once podcast technology has caught up with Luke's ass) smells of BindTortureKast.  For our 140th episode, we are getting all BindTorture(and)Kast-y with "Little Deaths", an anthology that released from our UK friends a few years back.  Its one we've always had a lot of love for individually, so we figured we would give it a review on BTK and see if its held up over the last few years.  It seems to get a lot of mixed reactions, and some outright hatred, so we should be able to have our say and maybe tell y'all why we think this thing is the knees of a bee.  Or something.  And as a bonus, if you're still around after all the fun, there may or may not be another treat for everyone.  Lurking.  Waiting.  Thanks for checking out our shit, everyone!  It may be stinky, but we are happy to offer it up in steaming chunks, for to mash into your delicate ears. 

Music On This Episode (in order of appearance);

“Chaos Deathcult”-Zyklon

“A Million Deaths”-Fleshgod Apocalypse

“Til Death Do Us Part”-Akira Yamaoka

**This episode is called "29 New/Old Ways To Die", of course, in reference to the two movies worth of short films we talked about on this episode. Problem is, we actually didn't talk about one of them. It's called "Marriage", it's directed by Todd E. Freeman, and it's great. There. Back up to 29.**

Hey everyone, and thank you (as always) for checking out this little, horrible corner of the overcrowded horror podcast universe known as BindTortureKast.  For our 141st, we are checking out the newest flick from Joe Begos, "The Mind's Eye".  Begos is relatively new to the scene, but had already garnered much acclaim for his first film, "Almost Human", so we decided it was time to give this dude his due, and review something and where better to start, right?  Anyway, we hope you enjoy the episode, and for you gore hounds who maybe weren't as into this slab of sci-fi horror, DO tune into Episode 142.  It's BTK-proper, with our reviews of "Atroz".  Can you tell I am excited about that one?   My fingers have boners as I type this very sentence...

Music On This Episode (in order of appearance);

“Mindphaser”-Frontline Assembly

“Blowing Up Your Mind”-Lords Of Acid

“One Mind”-Magenta

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 142 of the most atrocious podcast on planet earth, BindTortureKast.  For this one, we are checking out Unearthed's newest release, "Atroz".  For more information about BTK, please stay tuned to our website and be sure to subscribe for our e-zine.  Wait, we have none of those things.  We have a Facebook that is gathering dust, but beyond that, just listen to the show.  We don't want to tell you our life's story, but we also don't need your money.  Just listen in until you don't want to anymore.  Deal?

Also, I apologize for all of Luke's little friends chirping away.  I am doing so, because he will not.

Music On This Episode (in order of appearance);

“Sintomas De Muerte”-The Massacre Must Begin

“The Massacre Must Remix”-The Massacre Must Begin

“Atroz” (ending credits theme)

Greetings one and all, and for Episode 139 of BTK, we were going to watch and review "Violent Shit: The Movie" but it was beyond terrible, so fuck it, we are once again skipping ahead and reviewing a never-mentioned film I saw many years back called "Buddy Boy".  Its one I love, and one Steve and Luke have never seen.  Not sure how this one will end up going, but unless they are even worse than the last 138 episodes have proven them to be, it should be a fun episode.

Music on this episode (in order of appearance);

"Cannibal Song”-Ministry

“Pressure”-Ihsahn

“Obsession”-Clan Of Xymox

I'd love to tell you more...but its a mystery.  Seriously, why do I do this?  Is this a way to keep things "fun" for myself?  I realize absolutely nobody cares, but whatever, it keeps things silly. I am going to fuck off now, but before I do, "THANK YOU" to Lydia for coming on with me and making this one a blast.  Visit nightface.ca, splatterpictures.net, (and probably some other places too) for all of your Lydia-needs.  Don't be gross! I didn't mean it like THAT!  Ok, a little bit.  Also, hit up Amazon.com to purchase your own, special copies of Nightface, For When The Veil Drops, and Pray Lied Eve (and be sure to leave reviews once you've read them!).

Music on this episode (in order of appearance);

“Fista Corpse”-Zimmers Hole

“Worlock”-Skinny Puppy

Hey everyone, and thanks for tuning into the 137th episode spectacular of BindTortureKast.  Why is this so "spectacular"?  Well, honestly, it really isn't, but I try to suck you in with my words.  The empty, empty words.  Anyway, we were GOING to review another film this week, but it wasn't great, and seeing as how we try to bring you guys good reviews about good stuff, we decided to Just Say No, and do "Cold Fish" instead.  If you are unfamiliar with the director of "Suicide Club" Sion Sono, I recommend fixing that, and "Cold Fish" is a great place to start!  Anyway, Luke liked this one too, so if Steve gets all hatey, I am sorry!

Music On This Episode (in order of appearance);

“Cloning The Divine”-Otargos

“You’re Mine”-Carpenter Brut

“Promise” (cover of a much better original song by Akira Yamaoka)-…

Whats up kids, and welcome to episode 136 of BindTortureKast.  We typically do more indie stuff on this show, but for this one, we are going back in time for a movie that was not only in theaters, but just happens to be one of my favorites ever.  The movie is from Brian Yuzna, and maybe you've heard of it.  "Society".  Ring a bell?  No?  Well, maybe you should listen in anyway, since I have no doubt our reviews of this one will make you want to seek it out if its something that you have yet to experience.  Or better yet, fuck this show AND fuck listening to anything we say beyond...Just go buy the recent Arrow release of it.  It's awesome.  Arrow is awesome.  And, no, they did not pay me to say that.

*NOTE*

At one point I say that the new AGP film has the worst synopsis I've ever read. Upon listening back to this episode, it would have to be the SECONDARY-worst synopsis I've ever read. MY synopsis of "Let's Be Evil" was far, far worse. Credit where credit's due here, people.

*NOTE, NOTE*

Please understand that my mispronouncing of Ravager, in regards to "Phantasm V: Ravager" was from a combination of being tired, and trying to get through the segment quickly. Me leaving said mispronounciation in the episode however, instead of just editing it out? Self-hate.

Music on this episode (in order of appearance);

“Empty”-Information Society

“My Body”-Crosss

“Body Hammer”-Fear Factory