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We thought there’d be a big conflict in the coming episodes of Banshee and I think we’re on our way.  Who knew the biggest conflict that I’d personally have was maintaining my crush on Deputy Wide Face?  Thanks Jim Law, you Amish Shrek looking asshole.  I still got mad love for you, Deputy Kelly.

Seriously, look at that giant Amish dude.  If you’ve seen this episode, you’d know that the show missed a huge opportunity by not pitting Amish Shrek against Giant Indian Moreno.  Still though, we can’t sit some solid action, Procter losing his shit on everyone, Procter’s niece’s tits again (never a bad thing), and our favorite character Job and all his sassy attitude.  Dig in folks, this is a good one!

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Ammon and Law do their best without the missing Moreno, whom we can only imagine was drunk and forgot to turn his laptop on. Google Voice provides a couple great translations for Ammon to try his luck on, one of which includes a listener review of THE RAID 2. Law breaks down the upcoming Hottie Draft starting on the site at the beginning of April. TV Round-Up features talk of Banshee (BUY IT!), The Following (BUY IT!), and True Detectives. Law hates on THE NUT JOB and falls asleep during ANDROID COP while Ammon loves LONE SURVIVOR, adequately passes the time with THE OUTSIDER, and absolutely destroys Dario Argento’s DRACULA 3D (BUY IT!).

It’s slim pickings this early in 2014, but fucking Kupka and I managed to pool together a few artists that caught our attention.  It’s a pretty varied list of artists this week with three self-titled albums.  Not really sure it’s relevant, but that’s how it worked out.  Get off our backs.

Artists featured this week:

St. Even

The Crystal Method 

Red Dragon Cartel

Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings

Reverend Horton Heat

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Just in time to hate on the remake, Moreno, Ammon, and Law get together to celebrate the original ROBOCOP. Find out why this movie made Law a douchebag teenager. Find out who else was supposed to be Robocop before he was Robocop. What’s different in the extended cut? What the hell does the “I’ll buy that for a dollar” scene mean? Find out why we already hate the remake. Ammon won’t even see it for free. All these questions are answered and more so sit back and enjoy one of the greatest films the 80s has to offer.

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It’s the second-to-last episode of the season and AMERICAN HORROR STORY COVEN is pulling no punches with Episode 12: Go to Hell! We commentate on how amazing all the blood splatter is, how spot-on their rendition of Hell is, how great Emma Roberts’ ass looks in her spectacular fight sequence, and we’ll try not to spoil all the mofos that die by the end of the episode… even though we know you’ve already seen it by now. Let’s just say, Ammon finally appreciates the Axe Man for who he is and what he brings to the table, and we love how a few storylines wrapped up. One more episode left! Who’s the next Supreme gonna be??? We have our best guesses, what are yours?

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If you haven’t seen or caught up with Banshee yet, now would be the time to do it.  The stage is being set for an all out war between the Amish and the Morenos.  And in the center of all this is Hood biting the inside of his mouth and thinking about the next chick he’s gonna rail, Proctor and Bow Tie, and the giant Moreno you see above.  This episode features one of the best fights we’ve ever seen in Banshee, and the commentary features 96 Amish jokes.

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TV Round-Up is getting better and better even though Moreno is dropping shows like dead hookers. Banshee absorbs our love, as does True Detective and the most historic breast reveal of all time. We gear up for the return of The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, and other things I can’t think about right now. Breasts.

Ammon tries his luck at another Google Voice translation and then we get down to the reviews. Moreno checks out DON JON. Ammon makes time for TURBO, endures another viewing of BATTLESHIP, and loves himself some CAPTAIN PHILLIPS and ESCAPE PLAN. Law gets Oscary with BLUE JASMINE and 12 YEARS A SLAVE, admires Robert Redford in ALL IS LOST, and falls asleep during INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS.

Our Banshee commentary is coming up next, and then the American Horror Story commentary and, a little later this week, our ROBOCOP Movie Homework. Speaking of which, we’re giving the listeners the power to pick our next Movie Homework Assignment. Leave a comment below or on our Twitter page or even on our Facebook page and we’ll get on it.

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After last week’s ho-hum episode, American Horror Story Coven is back with a vengeance with Episode 11, entitled Protect the Coven. Ammon and Kupka drink their way through an episode that features eye ball gouging, epic blood-splattering axe-action, a few stabbings, and even Kathy Bates with her head back on her meaty shoulders. Come on and enjoy the ride (with a beer in hand!) as we take on this week’s episode of American Horror Story Coven!

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We’ve been in love with Banshee since episode 1, so Law and I are pumped to add the show to our TV Round Up commentary roster.  We start with the second episode because we drank a lot and forgot about the season premiere.  Not missing much since the first episode was basically a recap of season 1.  This episode kicks into gear with nakedness, fighty-ness and cow heads in a jacuzzi.  The tribe of Moreno’s are pissed.

Let us know what you think of the season so far.

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Ever wish there was a show that discusses the brilliance of Meryl Streep, the awfulness of Stallone and De Niro, and the mystery of Bronies all during the same beer? Look no further. Ammon, Moreno, and Law kick things off with a quick look at the Oscar nominations. Who’s a lock? Who should have been nominated? Blah, blah blah. Then we tackle a couple great Google Voice transcriptions, check in with Banshee, Justified, and True Detective in TV Round-Up, and head straight to this week’s reviews.

Law and Moreno are divided on HER but unite in their hatred of GRUDGE MATCH. Moreno spills a little more love for CBGB while Law more or less enjoys all of THE HOBBIT 2, AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY, WALTER MITTY, and IN A WORLD. Ammon checks out the Oscar nominated, THE HUNT, Asylum’s BATTLE DOGS (buy it here!), PARADISE, ABOUT TIME, and BRONIES, the documentary about grown dudes that love My Little Pony (buy it here!).

Then, to make this even longer (drunker) we all pick our most anticipated films of the upcoming year. Among the names mentioned are GODZILLA, VERONICA MARS, Christopher Nolan, Ben Affleck, fucking monkey movies, LEGO, and all sorts of X-MEN.

Grab a 12 pack, this could take a while.