Bitter Chatter

Hey, you! Yeah, you! No not...no, the other one. Okay yes, you! Would you like to know which former U.S. President you're most likely to hallucinate about next time you eat some bad sushi? Then take this quirky quiz where we'll ask you how many cats you think would fit inside each of these Ford pickup trucks! Or just listen to this podcast where the Bitter Chatter boys take dumb online quizzes instead. That sounds better.

Well now look what we have here...I mean other than the first late episode. It looks like the internet isn't all it's cracked up to be, now is it? Sometimes the people you follow turn out to be less than ideal. Sometimes the things you watch just go away. Sometimes one idiot forgets to upload the damn episode on time I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF it's fine, I'm fine.

Ah, the internet. Celebrated everywhere for it's vastness...it's terrifying, unending vastness. The internet has brought about many horrible things, such as this podcast, but it has also brought about an entire generation of strange children turned into strange adults. Oh my god we're adults now. Alright forget all this existential nonsense, let's talk about goofy old websites and memes for a couple hours.

For every sun, there is a moon. For every victory, there is a loss. For every pizza, there is a sauerkraut. And for every Dark Cloud, there is Heavy Rain. The boys spent last episode talking about their favorite video games and the titles that brought them joy in their youth. Now they've come crashing back down into a harsh reality where they've been swiftly kicked in the grundle with the reminder that David Cage exists. Also Carmine is a goober who forgot to put the 3x3s in the video version last week.

Ah, the video game. Dating back to the ancient beginnings of recorded history, 1958, video games have always been referred to as "man's best friend." So what could be more fitting than two friends with no patience for each other sitting down and recording a podcast where they talk about their favorite video games, from childhood to crippling old age of 26.

Ellie Wilmer is joining the boys again and this time our heroic trio is tackling the struggle that all of mankind can relate to: our fears! Some fears are universal while others are unique to each individual, but 2 hours with these idiots will make anyone afraid for the future of humanity.

What's that? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No. In fact it's not even in the air so I'm really not sure why you only guessed flying things. But it's a special guest! And not just any special guest, but Bitter Chatter's very own resident simp, Ellie Wilmer! Join Brooks, Carmine, and Ellie as they tackle the big wide world of cosplaying as well as their own experiences with it! 

"What is a song? [flings Zune aside] A miserable little pile of notes!"

This is what Brooks had to say when asked about his opinion on Hollywood Undead.

"Frankly I'm offended, and if at all possible I'd like to pursue legal action against them to the greatest extent of the law."

This is what Carmine had to say when asked about his opinion on Red Hot Chili Peppers.

But it's not all doom and gloom this week as the boys mainly discussed their favorite songs and artists while shuffling through their playlists!

Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if two boys with questionable intelligence sat down in front of some microphones and started arguing over the survival instincts of celebrity chefs and the likelihood of business venture success with different fictional criminals? And what if I told you that this scenario is no longer hypothetical and is actually the entire premise of this week's episode where sanity slowly fades away and they start talking about Stinky Pete? Hypothetically, of course.

The very notion of film itself can be rhetorically whittled to the bare nub of its meaning. But don't tell Carmine that, or else he'll go on a 10-minute long tirade about how you're not smarter than him just because he watched Bill & Ted three times in a row. This week, the boys intended to talk about something completely different but ended up ranting about movies and directors for 2 hours. It's a brilliant case study on the human condition and- uh oh here he comes. Just listen for yourself, I gotta go!