Bitter Chatter

Aaaaah the Disney films! Celebrated everywhere for their excellence. There is a stupid podcast intending to rank these films, fueled by a hubris inspired by that very same excellence. As these three goofs finish off this tournament dedicated to desecrating on movies that will always be someone's favorite, you should join them and revel in the pride that you're not as crazy as they are.

We're back! I can't believe it's only been a month. It feels like we were gone for way longer than that! Almost like... almost like eight months or something! But we're back now and ready to kick off our next tournament! What's that? Kingdom Hearts Lore Part 2? Uh... Hey! You know who was in Kingdom Hearts? A lot of Disney characters! It's time for the Disney Movie Tournament! Featuring special guest Ellie!

Spoiler alert: we don't.

You see, kids, back in my day we used to go to these things called "live events." It was a special time where hundreds, sometimes thousands of people would gather to watch a spectacle of their choosing as one crowd. I know that may sound big and scary now, what with Big Germ and all, but back then we only cared about the thrill of it. Now get cozy and let your two platonic grandfathers regale you with stories of these times long passed.

Why settle for one best-of compilation when you can have two? And that applies to pretty much anything in life really. Dogs, tacos, the screams of your enemies, cats. The possibilities are endless. But back to the main point, here's more best-of!

Folks, we've had some laughs. Okay well at least I have. And we will continue to have many more, but this week we decided to take a look back at some of the best moments these two dumb boys have provided through insightful conversation, introspective thought, and having absolutely no idea what's going on. Enjoy the first ever Bitter Chatter Best Of!

The snail is coming.

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Skulls crunching beneath your feet, catching falling bats on your tongue, and decorating the family spider web! Join your two favorite simpletons as they sit next to the campfire with glasses of blood and embrace the holiday spirit...or at least some kind of spirit.

What if, and stick wit me here, there was a game? But not just any game. In this game, you collect squids to power-up your big evil robot. But what if the squid-bot becomes too powerful and self-aware? What if it decides to eradicate the squid population in order to achieve peace? What if this description made any sense at all? The world may never know...

If you've been on TikTok lately, then odds are you've seen or at least heard of the now infamous "Couch Guy" video. The internet has brewed up yet another cyclical storm talking about the couple featured in said video, and this week the boys have a few choice words on the matter. But don't worry, the usual brainless banter soon follows. Good ol' monkey brains.