Black Mass Appeal: Modern Satanism for the Masses

It's another day with you and me and Paradise.

We say "To Hell with this" and open some seasonal houses that should go off the market.

Our shocking Halloween season show disinters some Satanic perspectives on Mary Shelley's modern Mephistophelean marvel, "Frankenstein."

We color our perspectives about Maggie Thrash's new book, a Satanic Panic parable for readers on every spectrum.

It seems the third time is not the charm, as our fundy friends struggle with old Anton LaVey's infamous Satanic Bible, the most shocking exposition of heresy that most of them have never read.

Pour a nice, tall glass of Flavor Aid and get ready for some devilish deprogramming as we go in search for real, honest-to-badness Satanic cults.

It's all led up to this: We unveil our understanding of everyone's favorite sidepiece of Satanic statuary, the rock-hard foundation of our Modern Satanic perspective, the one, the only--Hot Satan.

We all want to save our skins, but what are we saving them for? We tell fundies "Hands off" as we embrace our rights over our own sinful selves.

We lean even leftier than usual as we chart a path from demon sex to "hidden masters" to this oft-referenced but little understood religious perspective.

We play bingo to beat the worst of 90s Satanic Panic copaganda.