"Why are you a Satanist? It's a good question to ask yourself from time to time." We'll explore Magistra Blanche Barton's essay which opens with this line, along with "Satanism discussion" forums that don't have much in the way of Satanists nor discussion, and finding ones which do.

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00:00 - Intro

01:16 - "Best of" the "hurr durr" voice?

02:39 - Satanecdote: Discord Drama

07:03 - But wait, it gets worse!

12:02 - More about Satanism forums

25:51 - About Blanche Barton

27:04 - About Blanche Barton's "Why Are You a Satanist?"

29:14 - "Why Are You A Satanist?"

32:30 - Essay, continued

39:46 - Closing thoughts

Answering emails regarding fake "Church of Satan" pages, Satanic rituals for equinoxes and solstices, weirdos obsessed with Anton LaVey's ethnicity, and advice for young Satanists.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

Youth Communique: https://churchofsatan.com/satanic-youth-communique/

00:00 - Intro

01:07 - Dealing with fake "Church of Satan" channels

08:06 - Rituals for equinoxes, solstices, etc?

16:58 - Satanecdote: the holy water bottle

22:45 - "Does Satanism support Jews? I need to know!" Um, what?

35:50 - Advice for young Satanists

"The Satanic Rituals" (Anton LaVey's 1972 companion book to "The Satanic Bible"), presents many group rituals for Satanists. These rituals can however be adopted for solitary use as well. This episode also addresses some misconceptions regarding the role of ritual in Satanism, and answering listener questions about the Enochian Keys.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

00:00 - Intro

01:17 - Reminder: Satanism is a religion

04:52 - Yes, we have ritual

08:44 - Reminder: ALL religion ritual is "LARPing"

09:45 - Group rituals

12:45 - Using TSR for solitary rituals

15:34 - Breaking down "Pilgrims of the Age of Fire - The Statement of Shaitan"

22:08 - Shaving the head with water from the Zamzam?

27:32 - The ritual, continued

32:28 - The importance of going through the motions / more details

39:54 - Enochian Keys

50:33 - Using other languages for the translation

51:33 - More on Enochian Keys

What constitutes "Satanic music"? It's certainly not all about heavy metal. But in this episode, we'll explore why people make that association, along with many other Satanic angles to the topic of music, and also share some relevant writings from Anton Szandor LaVey.

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00:00 - Intro 03:15 - Heavy metal? 08:22 - The "horns" gesture 14:29 - No, it's not all that Satanic 16:12 - Church of Satan's answer on Montel Williams 20:57 - Quote from Satan Speaks 27:10 - What is Satanic Music? 30:57 - Yes, We Have No Bananas, Hipsters 34:21 - Pre-rock music with devil themes 41:27 - Satanic Music parameters? 46:46 - Evocation / Music for the Ritual Chamber

Satansplain answers questions about greater magic, Satanic Sin #9, relationships with non-Satanists, and the myth of Satanic "denominations".

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00:00 - Intro

02:42 - Satanecdote: Getting a synthesizer

08:24 - We don't spell "magic" with a "k"

12:55 - Lack of Aesthetics for a blind man

24:32 - Christian fiancé?

33:04 - The myth of Satanic "denominations", redux

38:06 - Does Cevin Soling's group even HAVE a religion?

42:53 - "But why do YOU get to define it?"

46:14 - We don't need Satanism denominations

Satansplain continues the exploration of the 9 Satanic Sins. Here in part 2, sins number 4 through 9 will be examined.

The Nine Satanic Sins: https://churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins/

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00:00 - Intro 01:27 - Satanic Sin #4: Self-deceit 08:45 - Satanic Sin #5: Herd conformity 14:28 - Satanic Sin #6: Lack of Perspective 30:05 - Satanic Sin #7: Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies 33:15 - Satanic Sin #8: Counterproductive Pride 40:10 - Satanic Sin #9: Lack of Aesthetics 44:15 - Objective standards of beauty

Satansplain presents a look at the 9 Satanic Sins. Here in part 1, we'll learn where the list comes from, why the list is part of Satanism, and an examination of sins number 1, 2, and 3.

The 9 Sins: https://churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins/

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

00:00 - Intro 01:49 - Note to the Christian dorks who can't read 03:12 - About the 9 Satanic Sins 07:47 - More about the sins 14:38 - Satanic Sin #1: Stupidity 17:52 - Religious people are stupid? It's not quite that simple. 25:36 - Satanecdote and Rosemary's Baby 28:43 - Satanic Sin #2: Pretentiousness (and why I-Theism is not pretentiousness) 33:56 - Satanic Sin #3: Solipsism (which is not the same as selfishness)

"The only proper response to them is no response!" Or is it? A look into selective debate engagement and the people who fear it. Also, two recent examples of channels desperate to name-drop the Church of Satan for rage bait, and the end result.

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00:00 - Intro 01:43 - "Don't respond to trolls! Ever!", they say 05:00 - No, there are sometimes good reasons: 1) Wrath 09:29 - 2) It's fun 10:28 - 3) Sharpening the Intellect 11:54 - 4) The audience 15:19 - Further thoughts 23:37 - Lisa Barlow's tequila and Church of Satan Magister David Harris's reply 29:37 - Satanecdote: LibsofTikTok stupidity (no, we're not located in Canada)

Satansplain #103 - Yes, We Have No Occultism

A look at the essay, "Yes, We Have No Occultism", distinguishing Satanism from the occult religions. Also a Satanic anecdote about non-Satanists and Satanists at a Halloween concert, plus answers to questions about goodguy badges, life and death, and atheism and the human need for religion.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

00:00 - Intro

01:05 - "Yes, We Have No Occultism" by Magus Peter H. Gilmore

09:04 - Mixing Satanism with other things

14:35 - Satanic Anecdote (Devil's Night 2025, Tampa FL)

21:08 - DeFacto and Pseudo Satanism

24:34 - Goodguy badge vs. charity of Satanists

30:39 - Fearing Death

34:04 - Atheists converting to Christianity

39:00 - And for those "How can you be I-theist and atheist?" people out there

40:51 - More on atheists converting

Demons and werewolves on Halloween! Answering listener questions about Satanic ritual, Anton LaVey's essay on lycanthropy, and the human need to "demonize" selected people.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

00:00 - Intro 00:57 - Halloween and the importance of dedicated days 05:05 - Bill's Halloween 08:00 - Parchment Burning 10:36 - Destruction ritual, Enochian keys, reminder on why 15:48 - Reminder: Accepting intellectually is not the same as accepting emotionally 24:17 - Werewolves 29:34 - On "demonizing" political figures