Satansplain

A look at the concept of "human rights" and some of the all too-often unquestioned dogma that goes along with that. Also responses to listener mail on topics including self-sacrifice and leadership, and some amusing Satanic anecdotes.

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00:00 - Intro

00:58 - "Free" Satanic Bible redux

06:52 - Leadership and self-sacrifice?

15:47 - Satanecdotes: Marching band, Devil in his own home town

23:11 - Dyer's Email

28:57 - Freaking out over Magister Michael Rose's quote

34:20 - "Human Rights"

39:23 - "Civil Rights"

44:22 - Satanism, "Two Wrongs Make A Right" essay

47:37 - "Two Wrongs Make a Right"

Hear a long-lost 2016 recording of a discussion on Greater Magic, answering questions and addressing misconceptions of Satanic ritual and how the Satanic concept of magic fits within an atheistic worldview.

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00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:51 - About the 2016 recording 00:03:34 - 2016 introduction 00:05:43 - Defining "magic" in Satanism 00:08:37 - Place in the brain? 00:11:41 - An every day thing? 00:13:52 - Conjuration of Lust 00:18:17 - Conjuration of Compassion 00:19:36 - Conjuration of Destruction 00:22:04 - People who want to misunderstand 00:24:18 - Group vs. Solitary rituals 00:25:27 - Memories of 6/6/06 00:28:00 - Ritual vs. Ceremony 00:29:16 - Getting hung up on details 00:30:39 - When to ritualize 00:33:50 - Excuses and the human need for ritual 00:37:31 - How it fits in an atheistic worldview 00:45:48 - Music in the ritual chamber 00:50:29 - The chamber itself 00:54:18 - Tools: not that complicated 00:56:36 - Broken bell 00:58:15 - Recommendations to teen Satanists 01:00:47 - Ritualizing with non-Satanists? 01:03:56 - Group vs. solitary (again) 01:04:36 - Destruction question 01:06:27 - Lust rituals and groups 01:08:12 - "wHy aRnT aLL sAtUnitz rich?" 01:14:18 - Ritual blooper stories

Hear why a free Satanic Bible is, ironically, unsatanic. Also hear talk about Satanically-relevant trademarks and copyrights, and one particularly ridiculous conspiracy theory regarding Dolly Parton.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Original 2014 article: https://churchofsatan.com/free-satanic-bible-is-unsatanic/

0:00 - Intro 0:56 - Dolly Parton, and why conspiracy theorists are the worst 5:50 - James asking about DaddyBaphy and Black Craft Cult's rip off 17:13 - To the idiots who say "the name Satanism isn't copyrighted" 19:46 - Satanecdote: Elevator 21:38 - Satanecdote: The $20 bill 26:03 - Lost emails? 27:03 - Why a Free Satanic Bible isn't Free: origin (and why we don't have official forums) 30:21 - Why a 'Free' Satanic Bible is Unsatanic 34:58 - Bootleg = illegal; unauthorized book = gamble 38:31 - Is it really that hard to get? 39:50 - More about electronic books 42:08 - Free Spells? 47:13 - Point six: Books are cool 49:39 - Afterword

After covering what Satanism has to say about life and death in part 1, part 2 continues with a deeper dive into the topic of dealing with death and grief.

About the show: https://satansplain.com Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

00:00 - Intro 01:12 - Overview, superstitious vs. scumbag 05:37 - Grief: What we DON'T do 08:08 - The 2025 letter (death of a pet) 12:06 - Cremation vs. burial and Satanism's "requirements" 13:36 - Answers from Infidels.org's "Introduction to Atheism" FAQ, 1997 20:15 - On friends and family, Rule #2, myth of the "Satanic Community" 26:14 - But...counterproductive pride! 34:55 - Reminder: Satanism is a religion 40:40 - Satanic Funerals 43:50 - Other ritual, and the Satanic journey symbolism via elements 49:40 - Quotation

Presenting part 1 of a 2-part set of episodes on life, death, and grief. We'll look at how Satanism particularly views the phenomenon of death, from views on the afterlife, to Satanic funerals, to dealing with the death of those around us.

About the show: https://satansplain.com Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

0:00 - Intro 0:53 - Overview 3:56 - Life After Death Through Fulfillment of the Ego 9:08 - Labels are good. Buddhism sucks. 18:12 - I-Theism vs. Pretentiousness 22:15 - Aside: ECI, afterlife 26:46 - Fearing death, spiritual pipedreams 30:52 - About grief (continued in part 2)

A third-side look at the recent news story about the Texas Board of Education allegedly forcing Bible study. Also, a Satanic review of the 2026 movie Citizen Vigilante, and the origins of the Satanic ritual phrase, "Move and appear".

About the show: https://satansplain.com Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support Texas BOE 2030 reading list: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/28277289-texas-religious-school-readings/

0:00 - Intro 1:01 - Announcements 2:46 - Bible in Texas schools: Did you read the article? 6:06 - What happened? 10:08 - Lame, but not illegal 20:58 - Satanecdote 1 22:22 - Satanecdote 2 25:12 - Origin of "Move and Appear" 30:59 - Citizen Vigilante

No, Anton LaVey did not refer to Satanism as a "new conservative movement" in a 1970 issue of McCall's magazine, as some liars claim. But we'll take a full look at that long lost article anyway, showcasing one of many journalist's entertaining reports from the early years of the Church of Satan.

• Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support
• About the show: https://satansplain.com
• McCall's article (subscribers only): https://satansplain.locals.com/post/8015531/mccalls-1970-article-san-franciscos-church-of-satan

00:00 - Intro

00:57 - Where is episode 119?

02:03 - Questions about Judith Rascoe's "San Francisco's Church of Satan", 1970 McCall's article

04:18 - Politics redux

10:47 - About that article

14:45 - Does anyone know? Apparently not.

17:19 - What to expect

25:58 - McCall's Article

29:12 - Anton LaVey

34:29 - The Satanic Bible

38:31 - Would you like to see the rest of the house?

41:50 - Satanic ritual

48:53 - After ritual

A look back at the infamous Church of Satan High Mass, held on 6/6/06. Hear shared memories of that night, related events, and the more general nature of actual Satanic gatherings. 00:00 - Intro 01:24 - Reminder: Satanism is not a congregational religion 03:22 - But Satanists do sometimes get together, by choice! 07:22 - 6/6/06 and why 10:33 - A message from Church of Satan High Priest, Magus Peter H. Gilmore 19:21 - A week in L.A.: Remembering Shawn 23:59 - 2016 reflections on 2006

Are actual Satanists giving prayers to the Devil in government meetings?!? Are certain voters possessed by literal demons?!? The answer to both questions is of course is no. Hear about one lunatic who thinks otherwise, along with equally delusional trolls who help confirm his paranoia, and some political third side observations.

Gateway Pundit article: https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/05/wayne-root-proof-las-vegas-that-democrats-are/

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

0:00 - Intro

3:58 - Start of Wayne Root's article

7:52 - Third Side Rant

15:14 - Back to the Article

17:16 - Dumb arguments, from both christards and Solingists

25:06 - Satanic Prayer?

32:48 - Article, continued

39:05 - CombatKimmy

42:09 - More with CombatKimmy

45:58 - Steve Sebelius is a moron

A look at the modern sacred cow of opinion entitlement and its poor justification for faulty thinking and solipsism. Also, the surprising Satanic merits of the classic comedy film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", plus some anecdotes from fellow Satanists on when their Satanism being detected or undetected worked in their favor.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

Article, "No, You're Not Entitled To Your Opinion": https://theconversation.com/no-youre-not-entitled-to-your-opinion-9978

00:00 - Intro

01:07 - About the article

02:52 - "No, You're Not Entitled To Your Opinion"

05:52 - Dunning-Kruger and Solipsism

10:18 - Satanists falling for this?

18:05 - To the "bUt u beLiEvE iN mAgicK!" dorks

18:54 - Article, continued

25:47 - Satanecdote: Stone Cold Steve Anton?

33:15 - "No, dummy, that was Ghandi, not LaVey."

35:12 - Satanecdote: The Car Boot