Black On Both Sides

Episode #54 Shorter is obviously better. Kunta admits that I would be better suited for a Cross-Fit Championship than he would. I believe this is true in life overall. But at least we know that we are actually better athletes. If better rappers is your things, why haven’t you picked up that new Lizzo record? I will tell you why…Because you probably have no idea who she is. I didn’t. Either way she wants to be respected among the greats. Like Future and Sway Lee.

Trump takes a strange photo with a baby whose parents were murdered in the El Paso massacre. Oddly, he and his wife are smiling eerily in the shot. I can’t make sense of this. Kunta was hoping I had a good argument for Trump. I had none. But what we can argue on is a comfortable and convenient ICE raid. Mississippi is the latest ground zero for an ICE raid and they chose to do it just after parents dropped off their children at school. Kids have to go to school. Kunta is appalled by their timing and tact. Kids go to school in the morning and come home to having no parents. When, I ask, is a good time to be raided? Should we schedule the raids? Let them pick afternoon or morning? Should we just pretend like laws aren’t being broken at all? Is this a felony or a misdemeanor? Why did they let 300 of the detained immigrants go? All of these questions need to be answered.

Episode #53 Kunta was double fisting this weekend. No this isn’t sexual. He was doing his best white woman impersonation and drinking hard seltzers. But to make sure you know he is still a mans man, he grabbed two at once. That’ll show those fairies.

Marshawn Lynch will show those fairies too. He doesn’t exactly understand political correctness. But who is going to tell a man that goes by Beast Mode that he isn’t showing the proper level of respect? Moral of the story, don’t sign up for his summer camp if you are soft.

Trump tweets hateful things and someone goes on a killing spree mass shooting. Are these things truly related? Kunta thinks so. I’m not so sure. One thing we can agree on, this killing of civilians by fully and semi automatic assault rifles has to stop. Can anyone truly justify the need for these types of guns anymore? Kunta has a more pressing inquiry…why do all the white live shooters get taken calmly into custody while young black men get killed for sitting in a car?

Episode #52 Did the moon landing happen? Did it happen but on a later date? Who knows? I just don’t understand what the government has to gain by lying to us. If it is just to promote how much faster we are than the Soviets, good. Lie away.

If you are a nerd, then you already knew about the new Blade movies. You probably also knew that there was such a thing as San Diego Comic-Con. Kunta takes a few minutes away from his militant persona to give you guys the full update.

By chance, did you use the face app? Well chances are you didn’t know the consequences of doing that. Lets just say the Russians wont lose the next race. Meanwhile, Tesla has an idea for how we could use some of your wasted brain cells.

Trump is faced with a tough decision. Just on the heels of a mediocre apology to the Squad for his remarks, he addresses a crowd in NC. The crowd starts chanting to send back the 4 ladies he was speaking of in his (racist) remarks. Does he shut it down quickly? Or bask in the sweet joy of acceptance? What if he lets it go on for a while and then makes it up by getting ASAP Rocky out of Swede Jail?

Episode #51

Jermaine Dupri is keeping it real when it comes to female MCs. He opines that women rap right now is all the same story and the story is stripping. We cannot tell you who the best is right now because they are all equally mediocre. He is waiting for one of them to rise above the pack and rap about something else.

Speaking of a wrap. R Kelly is amidst his day of reckoning. I concede. This man is clearly headed up the river very soon. They keep uncovering new evidence that will keep him in jail until the kids he molested can order off of the senior menu.

N one wants to drink the remnants of your spit. So stop running around town spitting in tea or licking ice cream. What the hell is wrong with you? But honestly, no one is going to die from your spit. So are we making too much of this?

Donald Trump has a talent. That is to make people get really angry. So while half the country is reeling at a comment he makes, he sits on the sidelines with that ridiculous smirk. My only message is to know your enemy. Kunta believes that telling minority congresswomen to go back to their country just proves how dumb he is. They are from the US. I dont know if he is dumb or just trying to rattle them and discredit their existence and importance. Both are an issue, but please dont be triggered. People make mistakes when they are angry. Go back to America, where you are from.

Episode #51

Jermaine Dupri is keeping it real when it comes to female MCs. He opines that women rap right now is all the same story and the story is stripping. We cannot tell you who the best is right now because they are all equally mediocre. He is waiting for one of them to rise above the pack and rap about something else.

Speaking of a wrap. R Kelly is amidst his day of reckoning. I concede. This man is clearly headed up the river very soon. They keep uncovering new evidence that will keep him in jail until the kids he molested can order off of the senior menu.

N one wants to drink the remnants of your spit. So stop running around town spitting in tea or licking ice cream. What the hell is wrong with you? But honestly, no one is going to die from your spit. So are we making too much of this?

Donald Trump has a talent. That is to make people get really angry. So while half the country is reeling at a comment he makes, he sits on the sidelines with that ridiculous smirk. My only message is to know your enemy. Kunta believes that telling minority congresswomen to go back to their country just proves how dumb he is. They are from the US. I dont know if he is dumb or just trying to rattle them and discredit their existence and importance. Both are an issue, but please dont be triggered. People make mistakes when they are angry. Go back to America, where you are from.

Episode #50

Happy 4th of July. I am proud to be an American. I think Kunta is too, even though he pretends to hate it. I worked the Friday after. Kunta worked the Friday after. Im guessing that most people did. If they were to tally up how many hours were dedicated to actually work, the stock market would have crashed. Kunta is so excited to report that the Trump celebration was a disaster. This included Trump spitting off of the dome when his teleprompter stopped working. The only thing funnier than a normal Trump speech is a freestyle.

Luckily my cohost was not devoured by a large land opening during last weeks earthquake. I forgot to check on him. So we are all lucky that he showed up for work today. He had to come to the show to make his claim that women’s soccer players should be payed as much if not more than mens soccer players. No. Way. Point blank and period. Women’s sports, especially soccer is exciting, but does not get nearly enough impressions to warrant increase in pay.

Why are white people mad that a black girl is playing Ariel in the new Disney live action Little Mermaid? Ariel is not a real person. She is a mermaid. She has no race. And give Stevie Wonder the damn kidney. He is a musical genius.