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This episode invites my special guest, Mallary Tenore Tarpley, who is a Journalism Professor at the University of Texas at Austin and Author of the memoir Slip: Life in the Middle of Eating Disorder Recovery.

Mallary became anorexic after the death of her mother when she was twelve shortly after her mother passed away from breast cancer.  She didn't know how to deal with her mother's passing.  She showed a strong front facade, however inside she felt her whole life was crumbling the longer she went on the further away she felt from her mom.  Somehow she felt that if she stayed the same size as when her mother left her she would be closer to her mother and small and safe.

This is a very interesting view of exactly what Mallary speaks to - Life in the middle of Eating Disorder Recovery.  I love how she speaks about changing a slip from a slide and building where there is a place where slips will follow, however recovery is possible but does not have to be perfect.

It is through treatment and her writing that Mallary found the origin of her eating disorder, what it served, and what to "recognize everything it could take away".

Mallary said it is really important to talk about recovery, even if not fully recovered.  She writes about what the middle place is like.  She explains that it is not a place of stagnancy, it is about recognizing the slips, and to move towards that recovery with being honest.  She speaks about immediacy, rather than delaying to remain as a slip instead of going into a slide. 

Mallory does have her husband and other people who she can rely on.  This is so important.

We also spoke to even after recovery, are there still signs that remain?  Do we still restrict even after recovery?  A lingering imprint, is what Mallary said, and I personally do not pay attention to it in general, however, I will say at odd times I do.

The book is out today on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble.  You can also reach Mallary at www.mallarytenoretarpley.com or on Amazon.com

Thank you, Mallary, for your insight.

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Very inspiring guest.  Dr. Sharnael was so humble and beautiful.  We connected to the point that we actually shared so many emotions of recovered adults with eating disorders.

This woman was one of the most heartfelt guests I have had in sharing about being in ministry, and I loved that we are all teachers, that there are no teachers.  I understood that.  We can learn from others, but it is about you being your own teacher to heal and take care of yourself.

Dr. Sharnael wants to do everything.  I can totally relate because I did until I found my peace.  I still want to do everything, but my peace side tells me to slow down.  :)

Her book, The Science of Miracles that speaks to the energy belt of a human.  I agree with this.  Bodies have two functions... what goes out and what comes in.  And it's about DNA, thoughts, words, feelings, and the heart is the biggest magnet.  What we think about, what we talk about, everything brings it into that field.

I asked if it was okay that I am okay that some people come into my field, and others I will move away from.  Dr. Sharnael explains this. Why I may have felt this.

Dolphins and animals like dogs have a huge field.  Some humans, however, can have inverted fields, and they take from someone else.  Even plants do this, and you can see it on camera!!

What a wonderful guest, speaking about being bulimic as well, and the signals that still come up after recovery.  

Absolutely worth a listen to if you are struggling with bulimia or an eating disorder, not just for her experience, but also for her big heart in wanting to make sure she can help others.

Beautiful guest.  We did cry together during this podcast, so make sure to pull out the tissues!

I highly recommend reaching out to Dr. Sharnael and you can find her at www.drsharnael.com, and you can also visit her Podcast at https://www.drsharnael.com/true-tv

Thank you, Dr. Sharnael, for being a heartwarming and heartfelt guest.

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Sophia Torrini is a Certified ETF Practitioner and Specialist in Hacking Reality.  So, what is ETF, and Hacking Reality? 

EFT is Emotional Freedom Techniques.

Sophia speaks about where the body uses emotions.  EFt works faster than therapy, she says.  

We can get disconnected from our bodies.  Sophia wondered why a healthy body would break down overnight.  She says disease is biological.

Sophia says each organ can speak to our conflicts.  It will not tell you what the conflict is, but it will tell you a space to work with.

To bulimia, Sophia says, is a dual constellation.  She explains that one of the problems with bulimia is the fear of disgust.  She expands on this.  She says the other one is the Identity or Anger conflict.   Interesting conversation pursued.

Expelling anger through bulimia.  Is there something in your home that is making you feel disgusted, and is there something that is making you feel your safety can be threatened?

Sophia explains that there is a difference if you are left-handed or right-handed.  Why are they activated?  German medicine explains this too, along with EFT.

Two tracks running to protect you?... learn more

You can find Sophia at tapintoyourself.com, and on social media, she can be reached at @tapintoyourself.

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What a wonderful time with Abby speaking to her, feeling sad and alone, and putting on a happy face at 17 while dealing with an eating disorder.  Abby took the leap to ask for help by writing a letter to her mother and placing it under her mother's pillow.  Abby had a caring mother, and she helped to find Abby help. 

Abby's nutritionist and, as she shares, also like a therapist, inspired Abby to move forward and become someone who helps people who struggle with eating disorders once they have transitioned and are making steps towards recovery.

Beautiful story about healing and then helping others.

You can find Abby by going to @healthmyfriend on all platforms, and you can also reach Abby at https://healthmyfriend.com/

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It was wonderful having Amy Vincze on my show.  I had heard about tapping and I even indulged in it shortly but wanted to know more.

I found it intriguing that Amy spoke to all children as if they were narcissists.  I tended to disagree, until I understood what she meant.  As children, it is about us.

In late college, Amy became bulimic... she was soothing herself from not knowing who she was.  For years she had no clue what was causing it.  At 31 she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It was not genetic.  So she wondered why she would have it.  Why me? in curiosity, she asked herself.

Amy found this amazing tool with a friend.  What is the tool?  Tapping.

This is truly interesting and I highly recommend listening to.

Thank you, Amy, for sharing this!

Coming out of no longer feeling unlovable.

You can reach out to Amy by going to www.soarwithtapping.com, and you can check her Soar With Tapping app by going online to your app store, or you can find her by simply Googling Soar With Tapping.

Honoured to have had Amy as a guest.

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Tim Thomas is the man who is passionate about sleep! 

Tim likes candles to create a space because two people speaking in it brings healing. 

We shared the story of my cow that Dad had gifted me.  I bought a new one and I travel with it.  And Tim asked me where I felt this.  I showed it to be in my heart.  He said it creates balance.   As long as it's not like a "Wilson" , per se. (The movie Cast Away).

So to sleep.  Speaking to how bulimia was a problem for me to have a peaceful sleep. 

Tim shares that he said he couldn't sleep and they "threw a pharmacy at him".  He lost a lot of memories with the pharmaceuticals, and he shares that there is no one who can share how to get off of them.

Simple breath work changes your brain work.   Not meditation, breath work.

He spoke about messing up the enemy's sleep when he was in Afghanistan.  "If you want to destroy someone, destroy their sleep.  If you care, care about their sleep."  Sleep is like the soil of a tree.

Tim sits in a place that is just behind all the things you really want - all the energy you ever want.

Tim shares that he is two people.  The one with a lack of sleep - not so nice, and the other person who gets enough sleep well - nicer, doesn't eat as much, and stronger for investing in "this vessel".

Tim is a breath worker.  He shares this with others.  It is what helps you become stronger and empowered.  Tim offers his app to people who struggle with sleeping, which helps with this breath chemical override.  He has breathwork at night and breathwork when waking up in the morning.

Interesting that I spoke to my anxiety and did not know why.  Tim explained that I am high stimuli, so a stand-up desk with a stepper or something to keep me moving would help.  Being upright, or on a treadmill, would help with my anxiety.  It would help with my anxious energy. 

So Tim shared the experience of breath with me and my listeners, and I said "I do" three times.  I never thought I would say "I do again" after my first marriage. :)  But this was worth it.  Saying "I do" to my own self three times.  I hope my listeners do this exercise.  It was very enlightening.

We are electrical energy.  Hunching over pinches off our nerves and energy supply.  This I know and am aware of; however, on a daily basis, I forget, become aware, and forget again.

The breath of possibility - hold on to it and bring it on.  Turbo buttons are your index and middle fingers pressing against your thumbs and work as a circuit breaker.  Breaks the rumination (over thinking) by using this and breath.

Breath of Peace is where you need to be in a safe place.  You do the same breath techniques, but you wriggle it.  Interesting that Tim said our tension is often what we feel supports us.  Breath and relaxation with a chair, will allow your support.

One thing to change your life and sleep - check this out.

And then...  Tim shared with us how to find his app and contact him.

Here is his email to me to help you find him. :)

These links are for immediate and natural sleep improvement; They’re my company's online resource called - The ‘Breathwork in Bed’ app. The app will guide you to sleep with peace and out of bed with power. What's more is that we are currently GIVING AWAY 28 days free sleep. Enjoy!
Links are for Apple/smartphones & Google/Androids
Apple link: https://apps.apple.com/app/apple-store/id6575362285?pt=127061224&ct=BIB50K&mt=8

Google Link:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.breathworkinbed.bibsleepapp20&hl=en

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I can't tell you what a revealing Podcast this was.  Kat is wonderful.   Great guest.

I was intrigued.  What is a Family Constellation Facilitator?  Who is this host of Healing with Kat?  Who may speak to my intrigue about past lives and future lives?  Healing when you have an eating disorder, or any disorder, is important to find a good person to help you, and you need a person who resonates with your belief in how you can overcome bulimia.

This "future" and "past" self was interesting, because although I am always questioning my beliefs and thoughts of what is real and true and unexplainable, I met my ex-husband at 18 on my birthday, and went and told my friend I met my future husband.  7 years later, we were married.  15 years after that, we were divorced, and with 3 children.  I never ever thought I would marry, have kids.  I wanted to be single my whole life.  I am single now, and no regrets for what-ifs.  And I literally married that guy, I said was my future husband.  And a fun fact.  When I first saw him, it was like I had known him my whole life.  Or another life?  I always wondered.

This is where I love Kat, because it was interesting to speak to the future self.  

Kat also talks about the mom's wounds and the dad's wounds.  That is so my next podcast with her, because although my Podcast is hoping to help my listeners recover, I believe some of these issues are a part of our bulimic relationship with food.  Sounds strange, right?  A relationship with bulimia?   Not at all.  Bulimia can become our friend, and anything that is outside in the world that is real pain.  Food is not real pain, it's a kind of pain, except like anything else that is a "crutch" to go to.  It can pain you from being around people, knowing yourself, and your worth.

I believe in what Kat is doing.  I am still not sure about my past self, but future self 100%, yet it has intrigued me for my whole life.  Why would I meet someone and say I will marry him with no idea?  My future self.  I believe that.  My future self also knew he would want me to go.  Dreams tell you that, too.  It wasn't all him... nor me... it was meant to be, and I could see it.  My future self was telling that... and to that I love what Kat believes in.  I believe too.  

I also speak to my younger self, and she keeps asking me why we didn't make it as a movie star.  I tell her we came as close as possible and in a better way... I do videos every day for my Clients before they arrive for their vehicle.  I show the vehicle inside and out.  And I am thanked every day for little nothing thank you videos.  This is the answer.  We ARE mini movie stars every day.  Nothing has to be big to be beautiful.

Kat, thank you so much for looking over my life, like you will do with everyone else.  Seriously, thank you.  I believe in you.

I had to share my experience to make you understand, listeners, that you may not be sure.  I am.  My future self, I believe in.  She is there today and listen to her.  Kat can help you do that.

Let Kat find yours.  Yes, past too, but fun fact is anyone who is intuitive like Kat will tell you, and she will teach you, how to reach out to your future self.  I absolutely believe.  :) With all my heart.

I highly recommend you reach out to Kat at https://www.katdaou.com/

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My guest Dr. Betsy Holmberg, is a joy to have had on my Podcast.  Author of Unkind Mind, and an award-winning psychologist and author specializing in overthinking and negative self-talk. She writes for Psychology Today and has been featured on radio, television, and podcasts. Her first book, Unkind Mind, comes out June 1 by New Harbinger Publications. Before settling into writing and therapy, Betsy ran the global behavioral health service line at McKinsey & Company, a premier consulting firm, where she ranked in the top 5% of all consultants. She also worked at Harvard and co-authored several peer-reviewed academic journal articles on non-suicidal self-injury and suicidal thoughts. She is trained in Cognitive-Behavioral and Dialectical Behavioral therapies, and has treated clients of various ages and presentations. Betsy received her doctorate, master's, and B.A. in Psychology from Duke University.

It was a joy to have her on as a guest and learn about DMN and CEN.  CEN - Central Executive Network.  And the DMN is the Default Mode Network.  

Are you intrigued?  I was.  

In the days that followed this podcast, I was more aware of the DMN.  I am an overthinker.  She will reveal the difference in this Podcast.

I love that Dr. Betsy brings up that an eating disorder, and so too alcoholism, or any addiction, is a "coping mechanism".  She didn't minimize this as just a problem. She clearly states that it is a "coping mechanism", without any judgment, yet with a solution.   

I highly recommend you learn more about her and her book, which will be available starting June 1st, by visiting https://betsyholmberg.com/.  And you can pre-order!  I already did.  Available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. 

The Unkind Mind.  What a great title.  

Thank you, Dr. Betsy, for your time and for sharing your stories, your achievements, and your purpose from someone who overthinks even after recovering from bulimia.  This was truly insightful.

Links:

https://betsyholmberg.com/

Unkind Mind

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I am so pleased that Ana Escobar joined me to speak about relationships with people who have bulimia.  Both sides.  Our process of being with someone while being bulimic, and our partner's reaction.  

I loved that Ana speaks about how it is difficult for someone you are with to understand bulimia and the relationship with food if they don't have that issue.

There has to be an understanding on the bulimic's side that some people in a relationship do not want to deal with it.  They will accept you without wanting to be a part of it.

Ana speaks about coming out of a divorce.  About letting go and that there are better things that will come out of it.

Ana works not only with bulimics and people with eating disorders, and she also works with people about relationships, so this was a key topic for her to share with us.

She said there are two things.  You work together in a partnership with the eating disorder, or you understand that you have to deal with it on your own.  Someone willing to want to work with you, it's because they have the time.  However, a person who doesn't have a fear of food may not be able to participate in the healing process.  At that point in your life, you have to decide.  Ir is not that they don't love you.  But do you want to stay with someone who doesn't want to participate or someone who is sympathetic and caring enough to take the time to be there for you?

It is a very difficult position for someone to find out that their partner has bulimia.  It is a very difficult position for someone with bulimia or with an eating disorder to feel that there are no emotions from their partner about it.

Please share if you feel that your partner should be supportive or allow them to be non-emotional about it and let you deal with it on your own.  Thoughts?  You can share them by sending an email to [email protected].

If you want to be a guest and speak to this, please also let me know.

I thank Ana so much for her time and her message of not blaming someone for not supporting you.  It's a choice for your partner.  It's a choice for you.

Ana was candid too about relationships... live for the day.  You never know how long you will be with someone.  Marriage reflects being with someone for life, but it is not always so.  Without expectations, life is a better way to live.  It removes the suffering, and pain from you.  Goals are important, but expectations are a different thing.  There is a difference.

Ana has great messages.  You can find her by going to @themagicinhealing on Instagram.  She provides a first consultation for free.

Thank you, Ana.  What you are doing is wonderful.  Thanks for sharing your story and helping people.  

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Great conversation with Rodney De Freitas, Registered Nutritional Health Specialist,  Weight Management Coach for over 30 years, Personal Trainer, and former National Level Gymnast. 

Rodney speaks about nutrition and shares how people's spoken words can affect you.  Too skinny?  Too fat?  Many times people say things and you have to reframe those words.  Mindset.  Reframing and conditioning your mind with positive things, says Rodney.

Turn things into the positive.

Don't put so much emphasis on the scale.... learn a healthy lifestyle.  Focus on how you feel.  Not the scale.  Too many factors that affect the scale.  It's not the answer.  And Rodney speaks to being the best version of ourselves.

You can find Rodney by going to Facebook and Instagram and look him up.  Rodney De Freitas.

Rodney and I have been friends for over 20 years.  We had a great Not For Profit called the Canadian Federation of Executive Entrepreneurs and promoted Canadian Entrepreneurs.  We truly had great experiences during that time.    

Rodney and I now celebrate good health, our relationship with food, our mindset, and our friendships and presence today.  I appreciate you, Rodney.  We sure have had great experiences and I treasure our friendship.   

Relationships are important.  Family, friends, and food.

NO DIET sadly because it's now LIFESTYLE.  Why?  Because society and media have bastardized that word. So don't use diet.  Use lifestyle.  Let's hope they don't bastardize lifestyle now!! :)

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