Blended Family Breakthrough

Resources for this Simple Step

Episode 41. Are You Unintentionally Putting Your Kids in the Middle?
 
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We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

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Isn't there just something fun and exciting about the Holidays?  

It seems to be a time of excitement and high hopes for family "togetherness".  You probably want to plan fun, festive activities so that you're able to enjoy memorable moments with your kids.

But to make all that fun happen, you might need to negotiate a few logistics with your former spouse…

…which could lead to stress and conflict — YUCK!

We hear you and have been there more times than we've wanted to be.  

Yet, over the years we've discovered 5 practical tips that can reduce the headaches and avoid the heartaches that often come when negotiations break down.

If you're anticipating changes to the visitation schedule this holiday season, don't procrastinate!  We'll help you navigate the negotiations so they don't rob your joy.  

Hop into this episode to discover how you can approach negotiations well and enjoy more peace this Holiday Season! 

You'll Discover:

• 5 tips for negotiating schedule changes with your former spouse that can increase cooperation and ease tension 
• How to stay focused on what's best for the kids and set them up for a peaceful Holiday Season 
• Practical strategies for responding to your child's disappointment when they miss an activity
• Simple thoughts for managing your own emotions when things don't go as planned 

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 67. The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already Know
• Episode 112. 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt the Kids
• Episode 113. How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued or Dismissed by Your Former Spouse
• Episode 135. How to Set Appropriate Boundaries and Negotiate Well with Your Ex-Spouse 
• Episode 33. How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your Kids
• Episode 31. 3 Unexpected Ways to Improve How You Cope with Your Ex
• Episode 71. How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
• Episode 84. How to Cope with sadness, anxiety and longing while your kids are gone

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesessio 

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too.   Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Resources From This Episode:

Episode 36. How to Change Your "Stories" and Grow Connection with Special Guest Mark Warren 

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

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Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Have you ever felt like you got stuck in a difficult conversation before it even got started?

You know that feeling — like this is going downhill fast and you just don't know how it got so heated and emotionally-charged so fast.

We've experienced this kind of interaction hundreds (maybe thousands) of times over the years!  Those are the moments we feel disconnected and divided.  And we're left wondering how we'll ever be able to talk about sensitive topics and work through problems.

But almost 12 years ago, Mike kinda stumbled across a communication strategy in a training where he worked.  It was a simple little framework for getting a difficult conversation started without kicking off defensiveness and anger.

As we both started learning this framework together, it was amazing how much better our communication became.  We were able to learn how to navigate the critical first 30 seconds of a difficult conversation well and after a bit of practice we were able to communicate on a whole new level.

We're sharing that simple little framework today on the podcast because we want you to experience that same transformation in your communication.

The truth is, communication is a skill and we can all get better at it. 

You'll Discover:

• The 'Hazardous Half Minute' of a conversation that can set you up for disaster OR success
• A simple 3-step framework to positively influence communication around sensitive topics and help you work through touchy issues

Resources from this Episode:

• Book:  Crucial Conversations
• Episode 35:  Are You Controlling Conflict or is Conflict Controlling You?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Do you remember that vibrant sense of friendship you had early on in your relationship?  It was a strong connection and it created this pull toward each other that was almost irresistible.

But somewhere amid the crazy schedules, complex relationships, and differences of perspective, maybe you feel more like business partners or roommates these days.  Or worse yet, battling foes rather than friends.

If you can relate to any of that (or if you want to avoid getting to that point) — this episode is for you!

The truth is, we all need to experience genuine friendship with our partner.

But when the common stress and busy-ness of blended family life hits, it's easy to deprioritize your friendship — or even neglect it altogether.

When that happens, the closeness you once enjoyed begins to wane and you slowly begin feeling disconnected from one another.  

But that doesn't have to be you.  It's time to get intentional about growing and maintaining your friendship and focus on rekindling genuine connection in your relationship.

In this episode, we'll share how a challenging season in our journey led to an 'easy wrong turn' that unintentionally slid our marriage to the back burner and we ended up losing friendship for a while — it was pretty sad.

We'll also share some specific steps we took to revive our friendship and save our marriage — even when we didn't like each other very much.

You'll Discover:

• Why friendship is so important in marriage
• The most common 'easy wrong turns' couples make that can dissolve their friendship and their connection
• Practical steps you can take to grow and maintain your friendship — or rekindle it

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 79. 4 Conflict Communication Patterns that are Hurtful and Toxic to Your Relationship
• Episode 98. Is Fear of Being Vulnerable Keeping You From Loving Your Spouse Wholeheartedly
•  Episode 129. What Does It Take to Build and Maintain Trust in Your Relationship
• Episode 123. How to Connect More and Rekindle Romance in Your Relationship - Even If Your Super Busy 
• Episode 78. Cultivating More Passion, Intimacy and Commitment in Your Marriage
• Article from The Gottman Institute:  F is for Friendship
• Book from The Gottman Institute:  Eight Dates

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Resources from this episode:

• Episode 14. 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionistic" Ideals and Disappointments

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Have you ever tried to describe your blended family's unique challenges to a friend — only to be met with a blank stare because they simply didn't understand?

Or maybe you felt judged by someone who just didn't get the reality of your family dynamics.

Or somewhere along the way you were given advice that just wasn't helpful.

Most of us living in blended family dynamics have been there — we often feel alone in our struggles.

We might even start to believe that there's something wrong with us because no one around seems to be able to relate to what we're experiencing.

But the truth is, you're not alone.  You may just need to be intentional about finding your community.

We discovered early in our journey just how valuable a supportive community is.  Particularly because blended family dynamics can be so confusing, chaotic and painful.

The empathy, encouragement, and wisdom of others that are traveling down the same bumpy road are invaluable.  Navigating all the complexities that come with stepfamily life is much better when you can lean on others who you know really get it.

In this episode we'll share our personal experience in supportive communities as well as 4 benefits of community that have led to our family's success — and lots of other families too!

 You'll Discover:

• The value of community in cultivating hope and experiencing real progress in your blended family
• Why trying to do blended family life 'in a bubble' leads to isolation, loneliness, pain, and disconnection
• 4 positive outcomes of being involved in the right kind of community  

Ready for some extra support?

 We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Creating a healthy, secure relationship with each of your children and step-children is probably a high priority for you.

But the complex journey of parenting is challenging — and adding the realities of blending families can make it even more daunting!

Sometimes we just need expert advice.

That's what we have for you in this episode where we got to interview Jeffrey and Amy Olrick. 

Jeffrey Olrick, Ph.D., is a clinical child psychologist who has worked with children and families for over twenty years. Amy Olrick is an author and techie whose work and writing has been featured in the Guardian and USA Today. Together, the Olricks are parents of three and the co-authors of the book, The 6 Needs of Every Child: Empowering Parents & Kids through the Science of Connection. 

Jeffrey and Amy connected with us all the way from New Zealand where they currently reside with their three boys.  You'll glean some powerful insights through this discussion about the 6 needs that each of your children have and ways to focus on meeting those needs in the midst of stepfamily life.

You'll Discover:

• How to use The Compass of Needs to help you connect more with your child or step-child — even in difficult moments
• Practical steps to overcome challenges when you might tend to over or under respond to any of the 6 needs 
• How an attachment bond grows and why these 6 needs are important for kids' developmental growth and long-term health
• Why tension creates barriers to bonding and what you can do to minimize relational tensions

Resources from this Episode:

• Grab a copy of the Olrick's book here:  The 6 Needs of Every Child
• Want to connect with Jeffrey & Amy?  Click here:  GrowingConnected.com
• Check out The Growing Connected Podcast to learn more about The 6 Needs of Every Child and other helpful parenting topics

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

In this episode, we're excited to continue our conversation about the amazing resource called 'The 6 Needs of Every Child' by Jeffrey and Amy Olrick.  We'll share the final 3 needs outlined in the book.

You won't want to miss part 2 of this discussion, and we have a little surprise for you at the end.

You'll Discover:

• How to develop security, resilience and confidence in your kids - and deepen your connection with them
• The relevance of secure attachment and practical ways to meet the most important needs of your kids and step-kids  

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 142.  Why Kids Don't Need You To Be Perfect - Just Present (Part 1)
• Book:  The 6 Needs of Every Child by Jeffrey and Amy Olrick
• Episode 99. 3 Tips to Help You Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
• Episode 7. Toxic Ex's and Hurting Kids
• Episode 32. How To Safeguard Kids From Negative Influences
• Episode 18. How To Help Kids Navigate Transition and Change
• Episode 141. Can My Kids Be Emotionally Harmed By Blended Family Dynamics?
• Episode 42. Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation - and 6 Tips for You

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

 ubscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!