Blended Family Breakthrough

We all want to raise kids that are secure, resilient and confident.  We also want to experience genuine connection with our kids and step-kids.  But stepfamily dynamics can be confusing, overwhelming and frustrating — especially when it comes to parenting.  It might feel like all the complexity tends to rob you of that connection you're looking for.

If you've ever wondered how to handle tough situations with your kids or step-kids, we're here to help.  And the good news is that you don't have to be a perfect parent or step-parent to make a big difference - even in tough situations…

…you simply have to be present in a few very specific ways.

In this episode, we're excited to share an amazing resource called 'The 6 Needs of Every Child' by Jeffery and Amy Olrick.  We'll be exploring key insights around child development and the importance of secure attachment.

Drawing on psychological research, neuroscience as well as our own experiences, we'll share the most important relational needs for human growth that form the foundation of thriving parent-child connections.    

You'll Discover:

• How to develop security, resilience and confidence in your kids - and deepen your connection with them
• The relevance of secure attachment and practical ways to meet the most important needs of your kids and step-kids  

Resources from this Episode:

• Book:  The 6 Needs of Every Child by Jeffrey and Amy Olrick
• Episode 112:  3 Dangerous Dynamics that can Destroy Co-Parenting - and Hurt the Kids
• Episode 113:  How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued or Dismissed by your Former Spouse

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

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Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Want to learn more about promoting peace in co-parenting?

Check out these episodes:  Co-Parenting Episodes
Or read a few of these articles:  Co-Parenting Articles

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback

Every parent wants their kids to be safe, healthy, and supported as they grow up.

But as they head toward blending a family, many parents worry that stepfamily dynamics might actually cause harm — robbing their kids of a sense of stability and security.

The truth is there are some "easy wrong turns" that couples sometimes make that can increase the risks for emotional safety and relational stability for kids.

But the good news is that you can avoid the most common "easy wrong turns" with just a little understanding.  That's what we're talking about in this episode…

…we'll reveal some of the most common dynamics that can create challenges for kids so that you can make a course correction for your family — or avoid the "easy wrong turns" altogether!

If you're worried that blending could be negatively impacting your kids, listen in to discover what you can do to make a difference!

You'll Discover:

• 3 of the most common "easy wrong turns" that can create emotional challenges for kids
• Practical steps to avoid "easy wrong turns" and safeguard your kids as you blend
• The impact of conflict on kids
• Insights and strategies to keep you on track

Resources from this Episode:

• Episodes on Understanding Kids' Perspectives
• Episodes on Parenting and Discipline
• Episode 132:  How Does Loss and Grief Impact Blended Family Integration?
• Episode 99:  3 Tips to Help You Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret 
• Book:  Preparing to Blend by Ron Deal
• Episode 102:  4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parents and their Bio-Kids (Part 1)
• Episode 49:  Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage or Your Kids?
• Episode 11:  3 Hidden Strengths for Imperfect Blended Families

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

It's easy to assume that adult children will be happy to celebrate a parent's remarriage later in life.  They're adults, right?  They're focused on their own lives and families.  Your later life marriage shouldn't really impact them.

But for most later life remarriages, that's simply not true.  Most couples quickly run up against some unexpected challenges.

Our friends Steve and Jan Mathews were surprised by the painful issues they faced with Steve's adult kids shortly after he married Jan.

His adult kids reacted with unforeseen reluctance to accept Jan into their lives.

In this week's episode, we're talking to Steve and Jan about how they've navigated the unique difficulties of blending with adult kids.  

Their story illustrates healthy ways to embrace realistic expectations, how to best approach bonding, and practical tips to find an appropriate balance that honors your marriage and your adult children — even when you're feeling stuck.

Join us for a candid conversation with Steve and Jan.

You'll Discover:

• The unique challenges that come when remarrying with adult kids in the mix
• Some "best practice principles" that apply to bonding and blending children of all ages
• Realistic expectations and tips to find a healthy balance that honors your marriage AND your adult children
• Strategies for the childless stepmom

Resources from this Episode:

• Want to connect with Steve and Jan?  You can email them at: -
  • [email protected] 
  • [email protected]
• Blog Article:  I Object!  Helping Adult Children Cope When Their Parent Remarries
• Episode 72 - The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships (Crockpot Strategy)
• Book Recommendations:  
  • The Smart Stepmom by Ron Deal & Laura Petherbridge
  • The Smart Stepfamily by Ron Deal
  • Preparing to Blend by Ron Deal

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review”.  Thanks!

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

We're betting you want to experience teamwork, connection, and peace in your blended family journey.

But if you're anything like us, the complex emotions and unexpected relational tension might be taking you by surprise.  You're not alone.  We struggled with the pain that comes with all that for years.

All too often, Kim felt like the rope in a tug-of-war between her daughter and Mike.  She wanted everyone to feel loved and to be happy, but felt like she had to choose between Annika and Mike.  She felt trapped.

On the other hand, Mike often felt like an outsider in his own home.  He wanted to be acknowledged, included and heard, but he felt stranded — like he just didn't "fit" into Kim and Annika's close relationship.

In our pain, we tended to react in ways that didn't help.  Then we would feel stuck.

Stuck in our pain 

Stuck in confusion

Stuck in conflict

And the good news is that we discovered ways to get unstuck, and now we help blended family couples move beyond the tensions of feeling trapped and stranded too.

Hop into this episode to start learning how…

You'll Discover:

• One of the most common dynamics for blended couples - that often creates disconnection, confusion and pain
• Two natural reactions that can makes things worse
• Two tips to help you stay connected and reduce tension even when you're feeling Trapped or Stranded 

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 22 - 1 Simple - and Romantic - Way to Combat Being Stranded or Trapped
• Episode 23 - How to Move From Feeling Stranded to Being Connected
• Episode 24 - What if You Could Relieve the Trapped Teammate Pressure?
• Episode 39 - How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step-Kids
• Episode 49 - Should Your Highest Priority be Your Marriage…or Your Kids?
• Episode 59 - Why Are You Stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance (Part 1)
• Episode 61 - How to Partner Well as a Stepparent…Even if You Feel Stuck on the Outside (Part 1)
• We mentioned Patricia Papernow's book:  Surviving And Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Our relationship is a mess!"?

I know I've thought that in different seasons along the way.  What I wanted was a healthy, connected relationship with Kim…

…but at times it's felt hopeless — like we would never be okay.

And often in those difficult moments, my feelings got deeply centered on my own emotional pain.  It wasn't just "we" would never be okay, but that translated to "I" would never be okay.

But just a few years into our marriage, I stumbled across a common relational dynamic that described exactly what I was feeling.  Not only did I finally begin to understand what was happening between me and Kim.  I also found hope that we could get out of this downward spiral we kept finding ourselves in.

Plus, I found out that I could be okay — even if things weren't going the way I wanted them to.

In this episode, we'll share our personal story of relational dysfunction and some of the first steps it took to move beyond our debilitating, unhealthy patterns.

You'll Discover:

• How good intentions can unintentionally become dysfunctional — and unhelpful
• Why it's easy for blended family couples to slide into codependency traps with each other, with the kids or even with former spouses
• Practical steps to breaking free from unhealthy relational patterns

 Resources from this Episode:

• Resources from Melody Beattie     
• Episode 108 - 3 Unity Breakers that are Detrimental to Your Connection and How You Can Avoid Them
• Episode 98 - Is Fear of Being Vulnerable Keeping You From Loving Your Spouse Wholeheartedly?
• Episode 98 - 4 Simple Principles for Setting Healthy Boundaries with Kids
• Episode 61 - How to Partner Well as a Stepparent…Even if You Feel Stuck on the Outside (Part 1)
• Episode 59 - Why Are You Stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance (Part 1)
• Episode 30 - Should Stepparents WANT Authority with their Step-Kids?
• Episode 27 - How to Set Clear Boundaries and Safeguard Relationships
• Episode 14 - 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your "Perfectionistic" Ideals and Disappointments

Articles from Stepmom Laura Petherbridge:

• Why Can't I Say - NO? (Part 1)
• Why Can't I Say - NO? (part 2)

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — We appreciate your feedback!

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!