Bloom Your Mind

At a party last week, someone asked what I do for a living…which led to them asking a second question. “What is the thing that gets in the way most, when people are trying to make an idea real?” 

What an amazing question. In this week’s episode, I’ll share the top six reasons that people fail at making their ideas into real things, and I’ll share a solution for each one to help you turn the obstacle that’s in your way, into a strategy for success. We’ll even do a deep dive into strategy #2, and help you understand the deeper why behind creating goals that are measurable and realistic. 

Did you know that we are 65% more likely to achieve our dreams with a coach or group to be accountable to, and that number jumps to a whopping 95% when we have regular check-ins and meetings with them. (Did you know that Bloom Room meets once a week?) Get over here and do the thang with us!

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

• The top six things that get in the way of people making their ideas into real things 
• Five new takes on an old way of goal setting 
• How gratitude is productive and efficient 
• What it means to fail ahead of time 
• How nostalgia for now can save you from missing your life, AND can create the urgency you need to act on the ideas in your pocket 
• The best tool to keep on track when life gets in the way 
• How a learner’s mind is the most advanced tool in your belt 

Mentioned on this episode: 

• Eacon

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

There is a goldmine of hacks and inspiration to learn from a specific population of people living in the world right now, and this episode is all about it. 

Maybe because we grew up in the 90’s, when body image culture caused eating disorders in myself and half of the young people around me. We grew up in a world that thought it had been liberated by the movements of the 60’s and 70’s, but that hadn’t yet publicly recognized multiple systems of oppression that were/are still woven through the fabric of the culture that we lived and breathed. Some of us were eating Special K and gummy bears to stay skinny, some were people pleasing and deferring as we lived up to expectations of the patriarchal systems we ate and slept and loved in. And we thought we were free, back then. 

But wait until you see us now. 

There is a generation of women who are more uniquely powerful, free, open and joyful than any one population of people that I’ve experienced before. And it’s the women who are exploring the middle decades of their life. They are owning hormonal and identity changes. They are collaborating and inspiring one another rather than competing and judging. And they are bringing unprecedented levels of joy and connection to the space they are in. 

What you’re learn in today’s episode: 

• How finding a group of people going through the same moment of life can be the most empowering thing you can do 
• The qualities that middle decade women are bringing to life in this culture, and why it’s such good medicine 
• Why walking away from a conversation and listening deeply both come from the same well of confidence 
• How connection over competition, and inspiration over judgement leads to deep connections and belonging 
• Why hormonal changes are relevant for everyone to know and talk about 

Referenced on this podcast: 

• Beyond Anxiety 
• Congruence 
• Time Whispering 

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

A group of entrepreneurs presented their ideas to a panel of angel investors to be rated, and eventually chosen or rejected. While both groups poured over the content of reports, and bantered over the words spoken, the real investment decision was happening on an entirely subconscious level.

Scientists who study non verbal communication were able to predict with perfect accuracy which entrepreneurs the investors would choose…based entirely off of non-verbal cues. 

This episode is all about what our bodies are saying that we don’t realize, and what our brains are reading in other people, that we don’t consciously know. While we’re unaware of this layer of communication running beneath the surface, it makes up over 90% of the exchanges we’re having with the people around us. Meanwhile, we’re basing all of our decisions on this subconscious data…and giving the people around us the data they need to make decisions about us, without realizing what we’re doing.

There’s one simple answer to becoming more aware of this constant non-verbal conversation, and it’s called congruence.  

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

• The breakdown of verbal vs non-verbal communication in a normal exchange and why it’s so important to understand it  
• The list of sociometers that indicate cultures where people feel safe
• Hear the story of the bad apple and how one person’s negative tone can be contagious
• About the strength of a good apple, whose positive signals can be an antidote 
• How the link between body language and results is neither valueless or all important   
• The difference between congruence and incongruence, and the symptoms of each 
• Eight ways to check ourselves for congruence and non verbal alignment 
• Two ways to call in someone who feels incongruent to us 

Mentioned in this episode: 

• The Practice 
• The Tool that changed everything 
• The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle 

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

As I spoke at multiple events for hundreds of people this past week, I had a moments of deep gratitude for the tools available for us to use to practice presence. Some of what I teach on the podcast is content that I’ve invented and created, and other tools and concepts are things I’ve collected over time from brilliant thought leaders, authors, theorists and changemakers. 

In this episode, I’ll share a go-to tool that I learned almost two decades ago from Eckhart Tolle, and share the ways you can apply this part of his work- to daily life, big decisions, and the ideas that you’re trying to make real. I’ll also give examples of how I used his teaching this past week to reset for a public speaking event after getting one hour of sleep (!), to reframe my mindset after making a mistake, and how the concept of joy, ease and lightness has connected me to others in the least expected moments. 

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

• Eckhart Tolle’s “Joy, Ease and Lightness” practice 
• How focusing on the how and not the what is a hack for presence 
• Why process instead of result thinking can calm the system
• Why pulling our mind into the present connects us to feeling happiness and joy 
• How this practice helps us side-step habituated brain patterns 
• Three examples of how practicing presence overcame real-time mind-drama 

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

We’re all thinking of ideas to make real all day every day, though we often don’t realize it. Ideas for what we want to do with an afternoon, how to theme a party, what relationship or health habits we want to tweak, or the big obvious ones like what career change we want to make, where we want to travel, or what we want a creative project to be based on.

And then…we get stuck. 

Ever get stuck finding your next step?
Or figuring out what approach to take? 

Maybe you get caught up in thinking about what you SHOULD do, or what you’ve seen before, or what everyone else is doing. 

We all do, because our human brain is designed to fit in; not to stand out. 

In order to be truly creative and authentic with our ideas, we need to help our human brains break out of those boxed up ways of thinking. 

Based on the design thinking practices, futurist processes, improv, career search specialists, and my own processes for ideation, today’s episode will teach you five different practices to help your brain think in new and different ways. 

What you’ll learn in today’s episode: 

• How combining your favorite things can make the next step easier than you think  
• What futurists do to expand their thinking, that you can do anytime, anywhere 
• The difference between having many ideas, and many types of ideas 
• How to use improv to spice up your idea
• 4 questions to ask yourself to shed the fear and unleash possibility 
• How we can remember to balance presence of positive qualities with familiarity

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

A friend of mine told a story a few months ago that has stuck with me in that way that a story does. I keep seeing echoes of it everywhere. I see expressions and examples of the point he was making in the coaching that my clients need, in my own life and mindset, and in the stories I hear from the people around me. 

He told a story about a family who came to him and said that another family had a terrible experience at their school. My friend was confused because he knew that family, and while they did experience a specific challenge, the end result of their journey was incredibly happy and content. He went for coffee with the family that he knew and gently asked some questions. “Why did you only tell the negative part of the story?” he said. “The part that created a bad impression for this other family, and why leave out the happy ending, where everything was resolved?” 

“I don’t know.” Said his friend, a little sheepishly. “It’s just what came out of my mouth.” 

In a world where words create reality for ourselves and the people around us, understanding what part of the story we are choosing to tell is the difference between creation and destruction; connection and alienation. 

What you’ll learn in this episode about the story we tell: 

• How it is a reflection of our self-concept and the beliefs we have about ourselves 
• How it shows what lens we tend to take on circumstances 
• How it impacts the health of our relationships, especially when we’re in a rut with someone in our lives 
• The impact that the story we tell has on the ideas we’re trying to make real 
• How to observe our story with compassion and non-judgment, so that we can actually make the changes we want to see 
• Questions we can ask ourselves to make our story lens clear, and to question whether it’s the lens we actually want to have. 

Mentioned in this episode 

• Anthony Thomas and “A long way from the block” 
• Nostalgia for now  
• The Bloom Room

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

Zoe is in the middle of a conversation with her partner. She’s annoyed and frustrated and is reminded of a series of other things that she feels annoyed and frustrated about in her relationship. They’re all connected by the feeling of annoyance…like pulling on a string and finding all the examples connected to it. She wants to tell him about each and every one until…

All of the sudden she realizes something. The string connecting all of these annoying things is not actually him. Even though he’s there in each instance, HE is not actually the thread. SHE is. The thing that connects all of these instances of being annoyed is HER; the one feeling them. She’s the one experiencing all of these things as annoying. SHE is the common denominator, not her partner. 

She doesn’t like feeling this way. 

Her instinct is to tell him he’s responsible for ALL of it. 

For all of the ways that he annoys her. 

But once she realizes that she is actually the common thread, she pauses. 

She remembers that describing the way she feels in detail is really a way of escaping the feeling. That it only makes the frustration bigger, and worse. 

Describing it isn’t actually feeling it.  

It’s running away from it. 
And she’s not into running away. 

So instead, she uses the practice. 

Jose uses the practice when he realizes the eggshells he’s walking on aren’t her eggshells, they’re his own. 

Sarah uses the practice instead of jumping into DOING during an anxiety ridden morning. 

Jazelle uses the practice when the voices of a patriarchal upbringing make her doubt her ability to be a founder and CEO. 

I do the practice first thing every morning, as much a ritual as brushing my teeth. 

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

• The two tools that are my ride-or-die go-to’s 
• Why breathing or taking a minute away from challenges isn’t enough 
• How to turn down analytical thinking to create space for the Practice 
• The three most important components of the Practice 
• Questions to ask ourselves that unravel intolerable emotions 
• Four times to apply the practice 
• How to metabolize a feeling and transmute it into something that serves you 

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

Have you ever needed a fresh perspective so badly, that you just started over instead? Maybe it was by getting a fresh relationship going, or getting into a fresh job or home setting, or starting your life over in a fresh new place. 

No matter how many times we change our external setting, we know that eventually we’ll meet the same challenges there, too. 

In today’s episode, we’ll learn the idea of giving ourselves a freshie every day. About treating our mental perspective, our belief in our ideas, relationships, and ultimately in ourselves as a discipline that requires as much consistency and attention as diet, exercise, communication, or even caring for a living thing that we’re responsible for. 

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

• Why we look for external change to help us re-motivate. 
• How hedonistic adaptation causes us to eventually meet the same challenges in new situations. 
• How friendships, coaching relationships, and other support systems serve the purpose of freshening our belief in ourselves and our ideas, and why that’s not enough.
• Examples of how the moment we stop trying is the moment things stop working
• How we can use that reality to motivate us to believe in ourselves, our relationships, and our ideas day after day
• A “freshie” practice we can normalize and use daily to build the skill and resilience we'll need when things get hardest. 
• Three examples of how we can support the fresh perspectives of the people around us, through the examples we set and the things we share.

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

We were camping in the mountains with a group of 20 kids and their parents, when the ground began to shake. The first things I noticed were quivering leaves on the trees around us, followed by a soft rumbling that can only mean one thing in SoCal….there’s an earthquake. The children had all kinds of reactions. Some were excited, some were curious. Some screamed and asked to be picked up. We soothed them, gathered them, and came together to find out what we could, to plan and to connect. 

I’ve been in my share of earthquakes, having always lived in California. This one in particular though, is one that I will never forget. I know that the children who were there won’t either, simply because we were together. They were surrounded by adults who cared for them, processed with friends who were standing beside them, and told the story again and again with the group. 

While the earthquake may have been the most dramatic moment of this camping trip, it was only a tiny example of many examples of belonging. From CEOs creating annual “Framily” traditions, to women’s groups that have lasted over a decade, I heard example after example of people creating belonging in the communities they’re a part of. This single effort, is at the heart of what drives us all. 

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

• How every opportunity to increase belonging starts with a single idea 
• Why unique opportunities for connection strengthen communities
• Examples of long-term friendship formats 
• The value of longevity in group connection 
• Two questions that can increase belonging in your own life 

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

Have you ever stood behind someone in the grocery store thinking they should put the divider between your groceries and theirs? 

Or thought someone should turn off their fanny pack music blasting down the hiking trail right behind you? 

Have you ever thought someone was watching too much TV? Not spending enough time with the kids? Following too closely behind your car on the freeway?

Yeah, me too. We all have. 

These are all examples of the “Manuals” that we are all walking around with, inside our heads.

A manual is an instruction guide that we have in our heads for how other people are supposed to behave in order for us to be happy. The really wild thing about this manual business is that although our brains tell us that everyone around us is supposed to be living up to the rules in our heads, we never show the manual to them. 

We are holding them accountable to it…but they never get to see it.  

Another wild thing about all of this is that the premise of our manuals is that we think we would be happier if someone else changes their behavior. This just isn’t true, or when it is, it’s true for a hedonistic hot minute. 

This causes us a ton of suffering, because we’re handing over the power of our happiness to someone else. But we can learn to see the manual for what it is, and we can learn to let it go. 

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

• How ridiculous manuals can be, via a pretty ridiculous morning story 
• Examples of the manuals we have for people we don’t know, friends, and even our very closest relationships
• Why manuals suck your creative energy 
• How different brains interpret the same interactions in oppositional ways 
• The single best thing we can do to increase happiness for ourselves (spoiler: it has nothing to do with how young you look or how much money you make) 
• A four step process to releasing your manuals for the people around you 
• Choosing compatibility in friends and lovers makes manual work lighter
• How laughing at our own manuals for other people can help us let them go 

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!