Blue Balls NYCFC

Your Boys in Blue are back at it in anticipation of the end of NYCFC's international break. Trey and Jake break down the week's news, including Euros chatter, USMNT ascendant, and of course, the long-awaited, long-expected confirmation of Santi Rodriguez and what it means for the NYCFC roster, top to bottom. THEN: a brief but sharp-eyed preview of how our customary line-up stacks against Bruce Arena's top-of-the-table Revs, and a little further prognostication on the Atlanta United front. Make sure you charged overnight: you've got Blue Balls.

This week it’s nothing but joy on the pod as Trey and Jake ring in a massive 2-1 ten-man victory over Bob Bradley’s LAFC. We break down the Cacha card, first minutes for Talles, Izzy Tajouri-Shradi’s superstar turn as a super-sub, Medina’s continuing form... all the good shit.

Then: Trey basks in the glow of Chelsea’s spot atop the champions league and Jake & Trey break down the competitions to keep eyes on during this international break, including Eurodrama and the US men’s Nacional team. Plus: what our ex girlfriends are up to. We can hear it in your voices and we can feel it in your tweets: you’ve got Blue Balls.

OR

Expecting Goals

Jake & Trey sigh through a second disappointing match recap looking to break down the particulars of a shock 1-2 loss to Columbus Crew. After agreeing there isn't much new to talk about, your Blue Balls boys proceed to talk about it AT LENGTH, breaking down NYCFC's fumbled final third attacks, the return of Maxi Moralez, substitutions, turnovers, plays of beauty and plays of woe. And maybe we talk a little about those two f*cking free kicks as well.

THEN: Some chat about rival stadiums and fan-player relations, the Talles Magno presser and the Brazilian age-to-come, and most importantly, Olivia Rodrigo's new album. Plus a pint-size precap to an LAFC match away that promises white-knuckle moments galore. You ain't seen nothin' yet, folks -- you've got Blue Balls.

We're in it now, Blue Ballers. Jake & Trey, in the shadow of the 1-1 loss against a hobbled Toronto, break down the good the bad and the ugly of a match that, at the end, came down to good old MLS Refball. But we hit all the topics: the Cacha-Keaton dazzlers, the fizzling front, the abuse of Andres Jasson, and a surprisingly firm back line!

THEN: the meat you've been waiting for! Fresh legs are on the field: TALLES MAGNO has signed with the club from Brazil. We talk about how Talles represents exactly the brazilian-aesthetic style of play we've been praising elsewhere in this team, and exactly what expectations Talles is entering to. Plus, our weekly Santi Rodriguez rundown and a five star review of being blacked out at Gudi Thorarrinson's concert in Brooklyn. And of course a slapdash preview of Columbus. You know it, you lust for it, but keep it together -- you've got Blue Balls.

OR: Cacha On The Flip Side; OR: Morales/z Low

Ahoy-hoy, BLUE ballers, we've missed you terribly. Jake and Trey are back and shooting for a regular early-week record to satisfy all your blue-balled needs, starting THIS week, with a recap of the 1-1 CORKER against Orlando City. We knew it was going to be a tough one and our boys in blue did not disappoint, bringing home a point through tremendous team effort - and we cover it all from Cacha rockets to Medina near-misses to Taty shots that left observers praying to an absent God.

THEN: the briefest of talking points to review Gotham FC in the Challenge Cup final, a potentially predictive Chelsea-Man City match, and of course, the massive conglomerate financial group at the heart of NYCFC, Sol Cacao and their brand new small business sponsorship. And finally, a quick and optimistic preview of the 1pm matinee match against Toronto this Saturday. Whistle while you work -- you've got Blue Balls.

Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers. We're back for yet another week of NYCFC breakdowns, takedowns, and shakedowns. Trey and Jake recap the highly heartening 2-0 win in Philadelphia, and what it portends for the futures of Taty, Medina, Morales and James Sands, among others.

THEN: the conclusion to the Palmeiras transfer drama, the return of Heber, the incoming arrival of Thiago Andrade, Europe, Gotham, and MORE. And finally, a lightning-fast precap of Saturday's match against perennial rivals Orlando. Call the fire department and have them hose you down -- you've got Blue Balls.

Or: (Ooh! Ahh!) I Wanna Kno-o-ow If You'll Be My GAL; Or: I Bet You Want The Gudis / Got You All Hot & Bothered

Ahoy-hoy, Blue Balls Nation, and welcome to the REAL start of Season Seven -- that loss in DC was just extended preseason and every true soccer fan knows the season only starts when you win a match 5-0 against a hobbled recent expansion team on only set piece goals!!

Trey & Jake break down those five goals, admirably named one through five off the cuff, plus more in-depth analysis of opportunities in wing play, stacking Maxi up front, and the first clean sheet of the season for GK and captain of our hearts Sean Johnson.

THEN: A little discussion of Chris Campbell's bureaucratic bombshell report on stadium movement, and Trey's dissection of Brazilian sport outlets as we try to ascertain just what - if anything - is going to happen to Taty Castellanos! And finally, a sweet little precap of Saturday's match against Philly. The doctor's office is understaffed, so just stay home and drink lots of fluids -- you've got Blue Balls.

Ahoy-hoy, Blue Ballers and welcome to Season Seven, proper. After fifteen minutes in heaven followed by 75 minutes in hell, NYCFC began their 2021 campaign with a two-one loss to a messy DC United side -- and your boys are here to break it all down. Jake & Trey talk offensive woes, defensive high points, sub impacts from some exciting new faces, and how to navigate the emotional rollercoasters of early-season matches.

THEN: a review of the Malte Amundsen and Brad Sims press conferences, and an obligatory Super League hot take or two. Plus: a lightning-quick preview of Cincy this weekend. Will our boys be able to give us a happy Home Opener? We'll find out this Saturday. And if you have time before then, throw on the podcast and take a little You time: you've got Blue Balls.

or, Glass Backwards;

Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers, and welcome to another blue week in the weirdest NYCFC season in our brief, brief history. Trey and Jake recap TWO matches (okay, one point five) in an effort to explain how a team this rough-and-tumble with this much dysfunction has somehow pulled 13 points out of the last 15. Are the coaches right? Should the world of amateur punditry........ sit on it?

"NO!" Is the resounding cry from those of us who have nothing better to do! Get ready for some standard fare armchair analysis of tactics, psychology, and even the armchair analyst himself. In our Justin Egan corner we chat Tinnerholm's defensive acumen and Ring's hapless comitragic adventures on the wing. Then, some Talking Points and a precap of a New England Match with no Maxi and no Sands -- sounds like we may be in for some roughness. And speaking of Sands, rinse off before you go in the pool -- you've got Blue Balls.

Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers and welcome to another week of NYCFC. Jake and Trey are full of it this week, chatting a double-recap of the first two matches since the end of the MLS Is Back Challenge and outlining why a 1-0 loss and a 1-0 win didn't actually look that different. Plus: the redemption of Ring, tensions on and off the field, and how NYCFC are creating (or not) meaningful chances. Plus, despite Trey's strong preference, we talk Messi rumors, and then unpack what the general strikes across leagues mean for MLS and specifically NYCFC. Stand in solidarity - you've got Blue Balls.