Blueberry Pancakes

Jess has perfected 5 different assertive female voices. Nick can’t decide on a voice for phone sex. Schmidt can spit out every name except Hillary. Jess has to shout all the fake names from a balcony. It’s hard to get your voice heard, but when you do, use it to vote for blueberry pancakes!

Everyone is moving forward. Schmidt and Cece are buying a house, Winston and Aly are in love, Nick is with Reagan in New Orleans and Jess…Jess is not moving forward. Instead she is again hung up on Nick…or is it still?

Schmidt left, Nick can lie a little and Winston is a serious man. Must be a season finale of New Girl! If Cece’s mom had told her she was coming to the wedding, Schmidt could have stayed to party with everyone…but what fun would that have been for the rest of us? Join us for a wedding (Schmidt and Cece) and a funeral (the douchebag jar).

Jess’s wedding eve bride kit for Cece includes Xanax, a picture of a cat riding a dog like a horse and their passports for a quick getaway just in case. Join us for so many mysteries—Winston’s amazing toast, the rogue engagement ring, why Jess can’t marry Sam, and where Schmidt is going so late on wedding eve! Just hit Lobby and let technology do its thing; just make blueberry pancakes and let your fork do its thing!

Jessica Day needs to be with a bird shirt person. Hopefully it’s just a coincidence that their names are Sam and Diane like in Cheers, not a sign of a romantic love story! How many robots are too many robots and how many blueberry pancakes are too many blueberry pancakes?

Gonna squeeze you tight, our love takes flight. Jess has gotten rid of the mirrors and the battery pack and the weird little jacket, or has she? Somehow Nick can persuade people with his voice, and Schmidt has created a beautiful wedding workshop at work. Everything has to be perfect, especially the blueberry pancakes.

Which bachelorette party is our favorite? Is it cozy socks and Anne of Green Gables? Is it beating a bread machine with a stick until it belongs in a junkyard or stealing the floor model to replace it? Is it mall jail or the inside the back of a truck with dancers and vodka? Let’s fit it all into the same party! Can you make blueberry pancakes in a bread maker?

The women are going to have a chill day in, but the men are going to Vegas on a road trip. They are going to do manly things like ride motorcycles, smoke cigars and fight the patrons of a desert bar to a Katy Perry song…and eat blueberry pancakes of course!

Pancakes and syrup, girls, let’s eat! Jess has a dream about a football helmet, Ferguson gets an audition for Avatar, Winston meets Aly’s boyfriend and Schmidt covers himself in catnip oil. Wouldn’t they have blueberry pancakes at a turtle’s birthday party?

Who is going to get Rhonda’d next? Will Jess get her car? Who makes a better Jeff Day, and is the mustache necessary? Blueberry pancakes ARE necessary!