Get in our shady red heist van, audience. We need your help. We weren’t feeling very patriotic this Fourth of July so we decided to live vicariously through Nicolas Cage as he robs the U.S. Government blind. That’s right, we watched the modern masterpiece that is National Treasure and now we are way too hype to NOT steal the Declaration of Independence. You in? Of course you are. Oh, by the way do you have any lemons?

Emma still would and proves women can’t be trusted. Lucas kills the mood and tries to keep things out of New York. Dyllan flexes his history muscles.

Talking Points: Always Check for Christopher Plummers In The Attic, The National Treasure Ride, Production Promises, National Treasure Three Plot Ideas, The Genius of Riley Poole, Wildly Accented Henchmen, Unnecessary Chirons, Certified Smokeshow Diane Kruger, I’M GONNA STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, Nic Cage Just Wants His Treasure, Washington DC Tourism Porn, Heist Prep!, Scandalous Deleted Scenes, Horny For Adventure, The Most Insane Toast, The Worst Marksmen, Kidnapped By Cage, The Keitel Enigma, Everyone’s Getting Fired, Treasure and Pleasure, Nic Cage Pillow Talk, Abigail Goes All In, We Are All Harvey Keitel, The Criminal Mastermind Who Uses Ask Jeeves, Urban Outfitters: The Wild West of Clothing, Water Magnification, The Deep Backstory of Phil, The Most Reckless FBI Op, The Treasure Was Family All Along