Books with Gavin 📚

3 Lessons 💡

1. Give honest and sincere appreciation.Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world, people put in their best efforts to be appreciated rather than criticized, so whenever anybody does something right, or for you, you should show your love with meaningful and honest appreciation. Don’t hesitate in your praising, and it should be really what you feel, no flattery. One of the strongest desires people have is to be appreciated.One point that I really like that is attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson: Every person is superior to me in certain ways. There is always something to learn from and appreciate in others
2. Become genuinely interested in other peopleYou can make more friends in a short span of time, by being genuinely interested in them, rather than trying to be interesting to them. People often like to talk about themselves. Thus, I've heard someone say, "The person is a good conversationalist". However, what they might also mean with this statement is "The person is a good listener."
3. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.Well, we all know that nobody likes to take orders, from toddlers to old people and everyone in between. A good way to get things done right by others is to ask questions that show the right path, and share information rather than direct orders. Asking questions allows your partner to come to their own conclusions independently. People like their own ideas better. When someone is given control, it stimulates the creativity of your partner
   1. Sample Questions-How likely do you think this will work?-What do you think of this?-Can we think of different ways to do it?

3 Actions ✅

1. Share sincere appreciation to at least one person in your life this week.
2. During a conversation with a stranger or acquaintance, ask questions and while they're speaking, don't think about what you want to say next.
3. During a conversation in your personal or professional life, ask a question instead of telling someone what to do

Helpful Links:

• "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
• "Abhishek Soni's" Summary Article
• "Little Bit Better" 30 minute summary video
• Alex and Books Website/Newsletter - provided structure and notes for this episode

Book Mentioned: "How to Win Friends and Influence People: The only book you need to lead you to success" by Dale Carnegie

3 Lessons 💡

1. Plan Your Life In Stages
   1. To live your life to the fullest, you need to examine 3 traits: health, money, and free time.Here's how it usually breaks down:
      • 20-30 years old: You often have lots of time and health, but little money.
      • 31-60 years old: You have a lots amount of health and money, but often little time.
      • 61+ years old: You have lots of time and money, but may have reduced health.
   2. Each age group has its pros and cons so you want to be wise when you're in each stage.
   3. So take a minute to reflect on what stage you're in life and how you can take advantage of what you have most of today.
2. Why Your Health Is More Valuable Than Your Wealth:
   1. In order to enjoy experiences (or life for that matter) you generally need good health. Additionally, in life, you're going to have to "pay" for good health one way or another so it makes more sense to invest in your health on the front end than on the back end. Here's what I mean...Investing in your health on the front end -- these expenses can be in time or money
      • Taking time each day to meditate
      • Getting a gym membership
      • Nurturing positive relationships with friends
   2. Investing in your health on the back end:
      • Paying for doctor visits
      • Paying for a surgery
      • Paying for prescription pills
   3. “It is much smarter to spend your healthcare money on the front end (to maintain your health and try to prevent disease) than to spend it at the end, when you get a lot less bang for every buck you spend,” writes Bill Perkins.
3. Why You Should Give Away Your Money Today
   1. Most people wait until they're dead (or near death) to give away all of their money. But, if you wait until you're dead to give away your money, you'll never see the positive impact it had on the world. If you have a favorite charity, wouldn't you want to see the impact your donation had on people while you're alive? Or let's say you're 95 and you decide to give your kids their inheritance. Chances are your kids are now over 55 years old and doing well in life or even retired. What could've been smarter is giving them their inheritance when they're 25 or 30 so that they can use that money to buy a house, pay for a wedding, or go on a big family vacation together. So take a minute to think about what ages you want to give money to your children, friends or charities that are important to you to have the biggest impact on their lives and the world.

3 Actions ✅

1. Reflect on your life to determine which activities you'd like to plan for each part of your life
2. Invest in your health today (via time or money) rather than paying for it tomorrow:
3. Reflect on the importance of memories and what amazing experiences you've already had in your life so far!

Helpful Links:

• "Die with Zero" by Bill Perkins
• Life Timeline Sample Diagram
• Alex and Books Website/Newsletter - provided structure and foundational notes for this episode

Book Mentioned: "Die with Zero: Getting all you can from your money and your life" by Bill Perkins

3 Lessons 💡

1. One Project, One Priority per day
   • To do great work you need to do deep work. And to do deep work, you need to focus on one thing at a time. This way you’re able to give all of your concentration into one project at a time, and thus go deeper into each subject. It reduces the number of times your mind needs to change topics
   • So instead of trying to multitask or work on multiple projects on the same day, pick one project and obsess over it for the entire day.
2. No Meeting Mondays
   • This is a simple, yet effective tip: Don’t schedule any meetings on Mondays.
     • You can implement this tip by suggesting any other day when someone tries to set up a meeting with you on Monday.
   • The benefit of this is that it allows a more gradual transition from the weekend into work schedule. Other days, of course, could also work just as well.
   • The key to this idea is maintaining some block of peace amid an otherwise cluttered and chaotic calendar.
3. Keep two lists for your projects: Active and On Hold
   • Three of the main points of the book include:
     • Do Fewer Things (at once)
     • Work at a Natural Pace
     • Obsess over quality.
   • Cal recommends only creating a higher level strategic plan and at the start of each week identify the few central projects that will make a positive impact in your work.
   • To support this goal, Cal recommends tracking all projects that you've committed to on two lists: Active and On Hold (format is flexible; ideal scenario allows for people to check their project status in real time). He recommends your active list having at most three projects.
   • When someone asks you to complete another obligation, respond with the following: 1) A request for additional details you need from that person before you start the project, 2) A count of the number of existing projects already on your list, 3) An estimate of when you expect to complete this new work.
   • To keep this system running, once weekly, it's recommended to fill in the most important or urgent projects from your holding list to your active list. You also want to make sure that you communicate about projects that you are not going to complete by your estimated timeline.

3 Actions ✅

1. Pick only 1 project to work each day and make that your priority.
2. Avoid scheduling meetings on Mondays (or a specific day each week) so you can ease into the work week.
3. Create Active and On Hold project lists. Only have three projects active at a time

Helpful Links:

• Slow Productivity by Cal Newport
• Alex and Books Website

Book Mentioned: "Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment without Burnout" by Cal Newport

3 Lessons 💡

1. Define Deep Work, Shallow Work and Deep Work Hypothesis (negatives of multi-tasking)
   1. Deep Work: Professional activities performed in a state of distraction free concentration that push your cognitive capabilities to their limit. These efforts create new value, improve your skill and are hard to replicate
   2. Shallow Work: Non-cognitively demanding, logistical style tasks, often performed while distracted.
2. Ritualize your work
   1. When and where?
   2. How you'll work when you start?
   3. How you'll support your work through basic needs?
3. Downtime Benefits
   1. Aids insights -- subconscious mind is powerful to work through problems
   2. Recharge every to work deeply later -- nature really helps

3 Actions ✅

1. Implement Four Disciplines of Execution
   1. Track Deep Work Hours (lead measure)
   2. Identify most important goals at work
   3. Keep sheet of paper as a scorecard
2. Implement Time Blocking
   1. Schedule your work day in 30 minute chunks
   2. Use Conditional blocks
   3. Schedule shallow tasks
   4. Could consider scheduling internet usage in personal life
   5. Use Fixed Schedule productivity -- finish by certain time each day
3. Actions to Promote Deeper Thought
   1. Productive Meditation (period of time when occupied physically but not mentally -- walking, driving, showering)
      1. Focus on a single well-defined professional problem
      2. How to structure your deep thinking:
         1. Identify the important variables for solving the problem and then define the next step you need to answer using these variables
   2. Shutdown Routine description and benefits
      1. Collect Metrics for the day
      2. Review daily obligations and track any items so they're not only stored in your brain
      3. Review your upcoming calendar to ensure that you are prepared for the coming day or two

Helpful Links:

• Deep Work by Cal Newport
• Cal's Time Block Planner 2.0
• Alex and Books Website

Book Mentioned: "Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World" by Cal Newport

3 Lessons 💡

1. Define 21 Day Complaint Free Challenge
   • 1. Get one of our official Complaint Free bracelets and put it on either wrist
   • 2. Switch the bracelet to the other wrist with every spoken or written complaint
   • 3. Stay with it until you go 21 days-in-a-row without complaining and become a certified Complaint Free person
2. Define Complaints vs. Stating Facts vs. Processing
   1. Complaints:, Criticize or Gossip: Focus on a problem in a negative tone
      1. Instead of complaining, you can speak in instructional or teaching way
   2. Stating Facts: Stating information in a positive or at least neural way. Focus on the solution
   3. Processing: Use "I statements" to describe your emotions about a certain experience
3. Story about Reframing Perspective
   1. Changing how you view certain situations to see the positive benefits can reduce complaining

3 Actions ✅

1. Post inspirational quotes in your home or work
   1. "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain" -- Maya Angelou
   2. "The sun was shining in my eyes, and I could barely see; to do the necessary task that was allotted me. Resentment of the vivid glow I started to complain. When all at once upon the air I heard the blind man's cane." -- Earl Musselman
2. Commit to completing the 21 day complaint free challenge
   1. Use a rubber band or go to acomplaintfreeworld.com to purchase an official purple bracelet
      1. The first nine people who email [email protected] requesting a bracelet will receive one via mail
3. Change the words you use:
   1. Instead of "Problem" -> "Opportunity"
   2. Instead of "Complaint" -> "Request"
   3. Instead of "Setback" -> "Challenge"
   4. Instead of "I demand" -> "I would appreciate"

Helpful Links:

• A Complaint Free World (lots of additional exercises and activities -- can purchase the book here)
• Complaint Free Zone Poster
• Alex and Books Website

Book Discussed: "A Complaint Free World: Stop Complaining, Start Living" by Will Bowen

3 Lessons 💡

1. Types of Stress Response + Focus on Challenge Response
   • Fight or Flight; Tend or Befriend; Challenge
   • Improve Odds of a Challenge Response:
     • Acknowledge personal strengths, remembering the past when overcame similar challenges, imagine support of loved ones, praying, know that others are praying for you
2. Strategy to View Stress in a Different Way
   • Allow yourself to notice the stress, including how it physically affects your body
   • Welcome the stress by recognizing it as a response to something you care about
   • Make use of energy the stress gives you, instead of using energy to manage the stress
3. Ways to Avoid Negative Outcomes from Stress
   • Give back to the community, Have a sense of purpose, Find benefit in the struggle, View themselves as capable, Help others in a way larger than yourself

3 Actions ✅

1. Example of positive actions from those that believe stress can be helpful:
   1. Accept the fact that the stressful event occurred and is real, Plan a strategy for dealing with some of the stress, Take step to overcome, remove or change the source of stress, Try to view the situation in a positive way as an opportunity for growth
2. Helping Others (in a big or small way)
   1. Boosts self-confidence which change how people views the challenges they face
   2. The more time trauma survivors helped others -- more happy and increased sense of purpose
      1. 82% of Holocaust survivors went out of their way to help others while imprisoned -- food
   3. Look to do something for others that is beyond daily responsibilities (see link in show notes)
3. Reflection: Turn Self-Focus into Bigger than Self-Goals
   1. When in the middle of a stressful situation, ask yourself "What are my bigger than self-goals?" and "How is this an opportunity to serve them"
      1. If having trouble identifying bigger than self-goals, consider asking yourself: "What do you want to contribute to the world?"

Helpful Links:

• Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal
• Acts of Kindness Ideas
• Alex and Books Website

Book Discussed "The Upside of Stress: Why Stress is Good for You and How To Get Good At It" by Kelly McGonigal

3 Lessons 💡

1. Regrets of the dying
2. Parkinson's Law
3. Investing Tips

3 Actions ✅

1. Regret Activity/Reflection
2. Apply Parkinson's Law
3. What is one action (with at least 5 minutes of time) that you can improve your investments?

Helpful Links:

• Taking Stock (lots of additional exercises and activities in the book)
• Self-Compassion Practices (Dr. Kristin Neff's Website)
• Elective Rotation Podcast
• Alex and Books Website

Book Discussed "Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor's Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life" by Jordan Grumet

3 Lessons 💡

1. How to Feel Like You Have More Time
2. Make Life Memorable
3. Reduce Your Expectations

3 Actions ✅

1. Daily Reflection/Time Tracking:
   • Track your time or reflect on how you spend your time each day
2. Daily Vacation Exercise: Create Memories
   • Each day for one week, spend 10-20 minutes planning or actually doing something you find enjoyable
3. Create a “Better than Nothing” Goal
   • Identify an area of your life to progress in and create an easy but not insignificant goal

Helpful Links:

• Download Time Tracking Template
• 5 year journal
• Cal Newport's Time Block Planner
• Alex and Books Website

Book Discussed "Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done" by Laura Vanderkam