Boomer Banter, Caregiving, Purpose, Connection

The mother-daughter relationship is one of deepest mutuality and painful estrangement. Being the same sex, the relationship makes the boundaries less clear. It is easier to project our wishes and expectations onto our daughters then it is with our sons.

As we work through separating from our mothers to become the autonomous women we are meant to become, we make ask ourselves:

• Did my mother hold me too close?

We talked about the mother archetype which has both a positive and negative association. There is the symbols of The Venus, Mother Mary, The Fairy Godmother on one side and the symbols of the Evil Step Mother and Medusa on the other side.

Our female friendships become a way to heal some of the difficulties we may bring from the mother-daughter relationship. 

We ended the episode with a moving story from The Book of Angels, by Sophie Burnham.

Episode Takeaways:

1. Become aware, look more deeply at the relationship

2. Strive to understand some of the differences between mother archetypes.

3. Interesting the similarities of the MeToo Movement and the climate change movement when looked at through archetypes. Women expected to give, and the abuse of the takers.

Thanks so much for listening.

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You can email me with questions or comments at [email protected]

Websites Mentioned:

RoadScholar.org/heyboomer 

NAMI.org - National Alliance of Mental Illness

MHAnational.org/crisisresources  

– Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what’s next.” Find out more about Wendy’s 6-week “What’s Next Transition” Coaching workshop, or contact wendy at [email protected]

– You can find Barbara at [email protected] or comedyshrink.com 

Elder Financial Abuse is the fastest growing category of elder abuse, and the numbers are going up every year. 

Typically a caregiver or family member works to gain the trust of an elderly person and gains access to financial accounts. In this episode we discuss Red Flags to may point to suspicious activity. We talk about things a person can do if they suspect financial abuse. We also talked about other scams, such as phone scams and online scams.

Part of the reason older people are more vulnerable to financial exploitation is because it is more likely that they are isolated and lonely. Frances Simon, my guest and founder of the PSGroup, suggests that even if your loved one lives out of state, that you develop relationships with neighbors and elder support services where they live.

1. Be intentional about getting your financial house in order.

2. Plan for something fun, in other words, reward yourself for the work you do to get your financial documents in order.

3. Be organized in your living space. Let your children or contact person know where your paperwork is; do not leave an inheritance of a big mess.

4. Create a memento box and write letters to your children to store along with memories you want to save for them.

We are living in the Age of Longevity and choosing a home in the second half of life requires planning and reflection.

Place matters is foundational to this planning. Aging well starts with a vision of what you want. You want to consider location as well as how place will enhance your sense of purpose, social connections, physical activity and financial well-being.

Ryan Frederick, my guest for this episode, is the author of Right Place, Right Time. He breaks down the importance of each of these components. He has an issue with the term, "aging in place." He prefers the term "living in community" and he explains what he means during our discussion.

Successful aging is not a solo sport. Include family, friends and a partner if you have one, in the discussion.

In the episode we talk about alternative housing options, such as intergenerational living, co-housing, co-living and home sharing. 

Finally, we talked about the importance of investigating health care living options, should they become necessary, before they become necessary. Moving can be disruptive and having to move under dire circumstances only makes it more difficult. Being prepared, having done your homework, may alleviate some of the stress.

Episode Takeaways:

1. Give place the respect it deserves

2. Place matters, choose wisely

3. Seek counsel with family and friends.

4. Create opportunities for self-reflections aournd purpose, social connection, physical well-being and financial well-being

Thanks so much for listening.

Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify

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You can email me with questions or comments at [email protected]

– You can find Ryan Frederick at [email protected] 

- You can take the Right Place assessment at www.smartliving360.com 

Remember when we were told to start saving early and to pay ourselves first? Well, those days are past. Now we have what we have and we have to figure out to make the best financial decisions about our future based on what we have today.

In my discussion with Quintin Pile, CFP, we covered a lot of territory that someone preparing for another 20-30 years of life after full time work, needs to think about. We talked about cash flow, various insurance considerations, home ownership, debt, and inflation mitigation.

Everyone's situation is going to be unique and talking with an expert is advised. This episode will give you a good starting point to think about your goals and the questions you want to ask when interviewing financial planners.

Episode Takeaways:

1. Implications of taking social security at full retirement age or delaying it.

2. How to think about mortgage debt when interest rates are so low.

3. Be clear about your goals when you meet with a financial planner.

4. Interview multiple planners on your retirement planning journey,

Thanks so much for listening.

Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify

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You can email me with questions or comments at [email protected]

– Support the work that Hey, Boomer is doing through buymeacoffee.com/HeyBoomer0413 

– You can find Quintin at [email protected] 

 - Rate the show on Podchaser where they are contributing .25 for every review to World Central Kitchen's work in Ukraine.

Get ready to meet one of the most upbeat people you will ever meet!

Barry Shore calls himself "The Ambassador of Joy." In 1972, Barry was involved in a head-on collision, and it was not certain that he would walk again. It took him 2 years of intense physical therapy and study, but he did walk again.

He went on to start and sell several very successful businesses and then in 2004, he was completely paralyzed overnight from a rare disease. After several years of therapy, he has regained partial mobility and now swims 2 miles a day, 6 days a week!

Barry Shore is committed to helping people find joy through his podcast, his teachings, his Joy of Living Community and his KEEP SMILING cards.

Come prepared to SMILE! (Seeing Miracles In Everyday Life)

Episode Takeaways:

1. Joy - Journey Of You!

2. Life has purpose

3. get MAD - Make A Difference

4. Choice, not chance, determines your destiny

Thanks so much for listening.

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You can email me with questions or comments at [email protected]

– barryshore.com 

- barryshore.com/book 

Deb Grove, aka Deborah Puretz, as a young girl was determined to become a Renaissance woman. She wanted to travel to exotic destinations, study abroad, speak foreign languages, and come home to an environment that reminded her of her very wonderful times and friends. And she was certain she wanted to be a mom.

Fast forward, and Deb has started 2 companies, traveled to over 40 countries. placed her art in more than 50 public collections, hosted IT panels all over Southeast Asia and Silicon Valley.

Deb is passionate about her legacy, the art she creates and teaches, and exploring new opportunities. She is not close to being done with what she wants to do!

Episode Takeaways:

1. Ask for help

2. Reach out for a big dream.

3. This is your time to be you ... be your full self

4. "When I die I will have reached all of my goals, except maybe I could have done more."

Thanks so much for listening.

Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify

Follow up on Facebook and Instagram

You can email me with questions or comments at [email protected]

You can Buy Me A Coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/HeyBoomer0413 

– Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what’s next.” Find out more about Wendy’s 6-week “What’s Next Transition” Coaching workshop

– You can find Deb at purepuretz.com. 

Hans Petersen grew up in Copenhagen, Denmark where he studied architechure at the Royal Danish Academy or Art. Upon graduation he began working at a graphic design studio in Copenhagen and then followed a love interest to New York. Once in NY, Hans found work at a printing company and that is where he first learned about color. Eventually, he started his own graphics design firm in Manhattan and worked in it for 10 years. 

He followed his wife to Charoltte, NC and started over. After many "cold" reach outs, Hans secured the International Home Furnishing Center as a client and produced material for them for 15 years. Then in 2005, they became part of a bigger organization and Hans was out of work.

What was next? His wife suggested he paint, something he loved doing as a child. In this episode he explains how he learned about the art business and has grown into a professional artist. 

Episode Takeaways:

1. Being a professional artist takes committment to paint every day.

2. The inspiration comes, but it is not initially what gets him painting.

3. They learned while doing tent shows, researching galleries and talking to gallery owners.

4. When you are trying to determine "what's next" think back to your childhood. What did you love doing then?

Thanks so much for listening.

Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify

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You can email me with questions or comments at [email protected]

– You can support the ongoing work of Hey, Boomer at But Me a Coffee, through a one -time donation or a yearly membership.

– You can find Hans at hanspetersenart.com 

What do you do when you always had a creative side that is ready to be fully expressed after 26 years in law enforcement? You retire to become a full-time artist.

John Patrick Weiss is a writer, painter, cartoonist and photographer. In our discussion he talked about how his creative passions sustained him during his career; they became a refuge during stressful times. When I asked what he had learned during his career that helped him as an artist, his answer was discipline.

John loves landscape painting and is recently experimenting with black and white photography. You wil hear him talk about ideas of where that medium might take him. Writing seems to be his main passion.

This show was recorded live, and there is a 10 minute stretch where the streaming software of the host (me) went down. As the professional that he is, John carried the show by himself for that time. It is a funny interlude in the show.

Episode Takeaways:

1. Whatever your passions are, go for it.

2. Paraphrasing from David Brook's book, "The Second Mountain," John tells us that the first mountain is self-centric. The second mountain is other-centric. Chase that second mountain in this next stage of life.

3. Be open to new experiences

4. Try different things until you find the thing that makes your heart go a-twitter.

Thanks so much for listening.

Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify

Follow up on Facebook and Instagram

You can email me with questions or comments at [email protected]

- Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to "what's next." Find out more about Wendy's 6-week "What's Next Transition" Coaching workshop

- You can find John at johnpweiss.com.  

Children today have lived through an unprecedented pandemic, school shootings, the insurrection at the Capital, violent speech broadcast on social media, and now they fear nuclear war with the Russian incursion into Ukraine.

In my discussion with Dr. Robert Saul, retired pediatrician and advocate for children, we talked about what we as parents and grandparents can do to raise young citizens and establish safe, stable nurturing relationships.

In Dr. Saul's first book, "My Children's Children: Raising Young Citizens in the age of Columbine" he lays out Five steps for Community Involvement.

We talked about the philosophy he lives by: "I am the problem, I am the solution, I am the resource," and reframed it by changing the I to We... "We are the problem, we are the solution, we are the resource." This means that not everything is my problem, but I also cannot hand off the problems in my community by saying it is "their" problem.

Dr. Saul's newest book, "Conscious Parenting" shares the idea of being above or below the Parental Awareness Threshold. It is a way to learn to be the best parent (or grandparent) you can be.

- To support Hey, Boomer: Buy me a Coffee and thank you!

- To contact Dr. Bob Saul, email him at [email protected]

- Dr. Saul's website: https://mychildrenschildren.com 

Episode Takeaways:

1. Raise your children and grandchildren to be good citizens.

2. Understand and practice forgiveness

Thanks so much for listening.

Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify

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You can email me with questions or comments at [email protected]

Joanne Ellis lost her husband about 8 months ago to dementia. As an author, caregiver and wife, she writes and speaks honestly and with insight about the journey as a caregiver and the journey back.

When you lose someone to dementia, you do not get the kind of closure you might hope for. You lose them a little bit at a time, and more and more over time.

Joanne's story will tug at your emotions, as you hear her talk about the journey she has been one. She talks about feeling cheated out of the dreams she and her husband had, how becoming a caregiver felt like crossing to an unknown shore. And about isolation, how the isolation that sets in when you are a caregiver is the hardest part.

Find out more about Wendy's 6-week "What's Next Transition" Coaching workshop

To contact Joanne: [email protected]

You can purchase Joanne's book from her website at Breathe Deeper Book – Dementia Caregiver

1. Learn the value of asking for help, keep asking and stay humble.

2. Validate that you are still a reasonable human being, because you care and you are still trying.

3. Take advantage of relationships found in support groups

4. Don't put off caring for yourself. It makes the journey a little less painful.