boy meets therapy

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Tyler Mafi to explore the queer search for meaning through the lens of existentialism. They unpack how identity, dating, and authenticity are shaped by societal expectations and how questioning those norms can open the door to deeper purpose and meaning-making. The conversation highlights why existentialism matters in everyday life, how queer identity and authenticity intersect, the pressures of dating and relationships, and what therapy can offer in navigating meaning and purpose.

Whether you are curious about existential philosophy, reflecting on your love life, or searching for more authenticity, this episode offers both practical takeaways and profound reflection. I would ask yourself, "What do I want things to mean?"

Connect with Tyler Mafi:

Tyler's Website: ⁠Link Here⁠

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with Sam Fogarty, LMHC, to explore the pressures gay men face when it comes to body image and the pursuit of the “ideal body.” Together, they unpack how rejection, fat phobia, and societal standards fuel shame and disordered eating within the LGBTQ+ community. Sam shares insights from his research on muscularity-oriented eating disorders and why intuitive eating can help create a healthier relationship with food and self-perception.

Dustin and Sam emphasize the importance of self-compassion, breaking cycles of comparison, and building a more affirming perspective around body image.

Whether you’ve struggled with body dissatisfaction, questioned how rejection impacts your self-worth, or want to better understand the unique challenges queer men face, this episode offers research-based insights and practical discussion.

Connect with Sam Fogarty, LMHC

Therapy Practice: ⁠Link Here⁠

PsychologyToday: ⁠Link Here⁠

Sam's Research: ⁠Link Here⁠

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Guide & Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Connection

04:01 Body Image in the Gay Community

06:07 Research on Body Ideals

07:52 Understanding Eating Disorders

11:09 Muscularity-Oriented Disordered Eating

15:03 Emotional Needs and Eating Disorders

17:55 Personal Experiences with Body Image

21:17 Fat Phobia and Its Impact

23:48 Reactions to Weight Loss and Acceptance

27:55 Internalized Fat Phobia

31:03 Challenging Body Image Norms

33:23 Exploring Values and Self-Perception

36:32 The Impact of Rejection on Queer Identity

39:29 Intuitive Eating and Movement

40:34 Attraction and Body Image in Queer Relationships

48:26 Healthy Relationships with Body and Self

48:55 Final Thoughts and Memorable Quotes

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. A. Jordan Wright, Director of the combined Counseling and Clinical Psychology PhD program at NYU and a leading voice in psychological testing and training future clinicians. Together, we explore how microaggressions, evolving diagnoses, and cultural competence shape queer mental health care today.

Listeners will learn how subtle microaggressions affect therapy, why diagnoses like ADHD and autism are both social constructs and powerful tools, and how cultural competence helps clinicians provide truly inclusive treatment. Dr. Wright also shares his perspective on training the next generation of therapists, making assessments more inclusive for queer clients, and using privilege to advocate for marginalized communities.

This conversation offers both practical takeaways and big-picture insight into what it means to “queer” mental health and build therapy that sees the whole person.

The Wright-Constantine Structured Cultural Interview: ⁠Link⁠ (full copy and paste link at bottom)

Tell me on Instagram or in the comments what you thought of the assessment

Dr. Wright's Faculty Profile (and publications):

⁠Link here⁠

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

*Full copy and past like for the WCSCI: https://steinhardt.nyu.edu/sites/default/files/2023-08/WCSCI%20FINAL-2023.pdf

This episode explores how substance use shows up in the lives of gay and queer men through history, culture, and community.

I explore the complex and often misunderstood relationship between gay men and substance use. Too often framed with stigma or silence, this topic deserves a conversation rooted in history, culture, and compassion.

I’ll take you through the role bars played as safe havens, the impact of the AIDS crisis, and the emergence of chemsex and methamphetamine in gay culture. We’ll also look at how pleasure, coping, stigma, and intergenerational differences shape substance use today.

This episode isn’t about prescribing one solution, whether sobriety, harm reduction, or responsible recreational use. Instead, it’s about opening up dialogue, reducing shame, and imagining new ways to support dignity, choice, and connection in our community.

Resources:

SAMHSA Hotline (24/7, US): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Crisis Line (US): Call or text 988

boymeetstherapy resources: ⁠click here⁠

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver sits down with dating coach Danny to explore the unique challenges queer men face in dating. From breaking cycles of self-sabotage to navigating monogamy vs. non-monogamy, they dive into how generational trauma and cultural history shape modern relationships.

Connect with Danny

Instagram: ⁠@thecoachdannym⁠

TikTok: ⁠@coachdannymorales⁠

Website: ⁠www.thecoachdanny.com⁠

Podcast: ⁠THE DEEP PENETRATION Podcast⁠

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Guide & Chapters

0:00 - 2:00 Introduction

2:01 - 5:30 Meet Danny: The Dating Coach

5:31 - 15:00 Understanding Self-Sabotage

15:01 - 25:00 Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy

25:01 - 35:00 Generational Impact on Dating

35:01 - 45:00 Building Confidence and Authenticity

45:01 - 50:00 Rapid Fire Questions with Danny

50:01 - End Closing Thoughts and Takeaways

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why is it so hard for gay men to open up emotionally, especially with each other?

In this solo episode, Dustin explores the vulnerability deficit that many gay men experience and how emotional suppression shows up in friendships, dating, and queer community life. Blending clinical research with real-life examples, this episode unpacks the psychological roots of emotional avoidance, the influence of masculinity and shame, and how curated social connection can mask deep disconnection.

You'll hear about the common ways gay men protect themselves from being seen, why these patterns make sense in a world shaped by rejection, and how we can start to build relationships rooted in emotional honesty. Whether you have struggled to express your needs, avoided conflict, or felt unseen in your closest relationships, this conversation offers insight, compassion, and a path forward.

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Guide & Chapters

00:00 Introduction

03:06 Shifting Focus to Queer Men's Issues

05:58 Exploring Vulnerability in Gay Men

09:07 Understanding Vulnerability and Safety

10:59 The Impact of Minority Stress on Emotional Expression

11:24 Understanding Emotional Armor in Gay Men

17:17 The Cost of Avoiding Vulnerability

23:30 Toxic Masculinity and Its Impact

29:26 Micro Vulnerability: A Path to Connection

35:33 The Importance of Being Seen and Vulnerable

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why is it so hard for gay men to make close friends? In this episode, host Dustin explores the friendship crisis many queer men face and offers practical, research-backed strategies to build deeper, more meaningful connections.

Learn the difference between romantic and friendship attraction, how emotional safety shapes queer friendships, and why vulnerability is key to connection. Dustin also shares actionable tips for overcoming defensiveness, initiating low-pressure social rituals, and building community beyond dating and hookup culture.

Whether you’re feeling lonely, craving real friendships, or simply trying to understand why queer connection can feel so complicated, this episode offers clarity, validation, and hope.

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠

Episode Guide & Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Topic

03:18 Understanding Queer Loneliness

11:43 The Importance of Queer Friendships

18:23 Navigating Vulnerability in Queer Friendships

18:35 Navigating Attraction and Friendship Among Gay Men

21:26 Understanding Vulnerability in Queer Friendships

24:13 Tools for Building Connections

27:23 Creating Consistent Rituals for Friendship

30:14 Practicing Patience and Grace in Friendships

33:09 The Importance of Authenticity and Vulnerability

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode of boy meets therapy, Dr. Luke Wilson shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, from enrolling at Liberty University to facing the emotional and psychological toll of trying to change his identity. Dr. Wilson opens up about the deep shame, religious pressure, and inner conflict he experienced, and how he ultimately found healing and self-acceptance. This honest conversation explores the dangers of conversion practices, the intersection of faith and sexuality, and the resilience it takes to reclaim your truth. Whether you are a survivor, an ally, or seeking to understand, this episode offers insight, compassion, and hope.

Dr. Wilson's book of conversion therapy survivors' stories Shame-Sex Attraction is available for pre-order now.

Connect with Luke Wilson, PhD:

Instagram: ⁠@lukeslamdunkwilson⁠

Academic Papers: ⁠utschools.academia.edu/LucasWilson⁠

Pre-order Shame-Sex Attraction (USA): ⁠link here⁠

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Guide & Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Academic Credentials

03:06 Exploring Identity and Sexuality

06:00 Liberty University: A Conservative Christian Institution

08:47 The Journey into Evangelicalism

12:07 Conversion Therapy: Understanding the Context

14:52 Personal Experiences with Conversion Therapy

17:41 Navigating Queerness in a Conservative Environment

26:06 The Journey into Conversion Therapy

32:26 The Impact of Conversion Therapy on Identity

43:48 Shame and Its Role in Conversion Therapy

48:37 Reflections on Personal Growth and Projection

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver is joined by therapist Liz Rhea for an honest and deeply moving conversation about religious trauma and queer identity. Together, they unpack how adverse religious experiences can shape self-worth, relationships, and mental health, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. Liz shares her clinical insights on the effects of sermons and church environments, while exploring the power of deconstruction, inner child work, and grief processing in healing. This episode offers both personal and therapeutic perspectives on what it means to navigate religious trauma and find safety, self-acceptance, and liberation in therapy.

Whether you're deconstructing your faith, supporting a loved one, or working through your own trauma, this conversation is a must-listen.

Connect with Liz Rhea:

Instagram: ⁠@lizrheatherapy⁠

Website: ⁠www.lizrheatherapy.com⁠

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠

Episode Guide & Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Background

03:09 Understanding Religious Trauma

06:13 The Impact of Environment on Trauma

09:07 Experiences of Religious Trauma

12:08 Personal Stories and Reflections

15:10 Navigating Identity and Faith

17:46 Exploring Queer Identity and Community

19:12 The Process of Deconstruction

23:07 Reclaiming Identity and Rituals

24:47 The Impact of Religious Trauma

28:04 Understanding Sin and Identity

31:39 Creating Safe Spaces in Therapy

36:02 Inner Child Work for Queer Individuals

37:12 The Framework of Grief in Healing

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this powerful episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Natalie Reina to explore the deep and lasting effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the transformative power of somatic therapy in trauma recovery. Together, they unpack how childhood trauma shapes adult mental health, why recognizing patterns from abusive relationships is so difficult, and how grounding techniques and body-based therapies help clients reconnect with safety and self-awareness.

Whether you're a mental health professional, trauma survivor, or simply curious about holistic approaches to healing, this conversation offers valuable insight into how integrating mind and body can lead to long-term emotional recovery. Learn how ACEs impact the nervous system, what somatic therapy actually looks like in practice, and why creating safety is the first step in any therapeutic relationship.

Connect with Natalie Reina:

Instagram: ⁠@reinatherapy⁠

Website: ⁠https://reinatherapy.com/⁠

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠

Episode Guide & Chapters:

00:00 Exploring Personal Lore and Travel Experiences

03:08 Understanding Trauma in Therapy

06:12 Adverse Childhood Experiences and Their Impact

08:57 The Role of Somatic Therapy

11:58 How Trauma Manifests in the Body

14:59 Building Trust in Therapeutic Relationships

17:59 Recognizing Signs of Unresolved Trauma

24:35 The Journey of Self-Discovery

30:41 Connecting with the Body

34:40 Blending Therapeutic Modalities

40:21 Navigating Trauma and Relationships

45:03 Understanding Domestic Violence

48:09 Words of Wisdom

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver