What does it take to start over in a new place? The Stern siblings—Yakov (10), Rina (8), and Toby (5)—know firsthand, having just moved from Miami Beach, Florida to Manchester, New Jersey less than a week before our conversation. Their honest reflections reveal the complex emotions of leaving behind everything familiar: excitement about living closer to extended family, sadness about missing friends, and nervousness about fitting in at a new school.

Each child approaches this transition differently. Yakov proactively seeks out future classmates, gathering intelligence about his new school. Rina worries about being included in games and conversations. Toby packed a framed photo of her and her friend to keep memories close. Their differing approaches remind us that personality, age, and individual resilience all shape how children navigate life changes.

Social worker Avi Kohn, LMSW offers transformative wisdom about transitions, introducing the crucial distinction between confidence and courage. "Confidence comes from experience," he explains, "but courage is what we call upon when we have no confidence yet." This powerful framework helps children understand that feeling uncertain doesn't mean they're doing something wrong—it means they're facing a situation that requires bravery rather than prior experience.

Rabbi Kohn shares practical strategies for both newcomers and those welcoming them. For new children: take initiative rather than waiting for others, be prepared for adjustment to take months rather than days, and respond to potential unkindness with kindness. For welcoming students: remember the mitzvah of being kind to newcomers, recognize that small acts of inclusion can have lasting impacts, and understand that differences may initially feel scary but offer opportunities for growth.

Whether your child is starting kindergarten, moving to a new community, or joining a new activity, this episode provides the emotional vocabulary and practical tools to transform challenging transitions into opportunities for developing resilience. How might calling upon courage today build confidence for tomorrow?

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