Breaking the Silence

Whether dealing with a desire to view pornography, or other urges like eating or scrolling social media, Sara Brewer offers a mindful approach to managing them. Sara is a  certified life coach who works with people who want to quit pornography. She suggests that we stop, drop, and breathe, a process that allows us to become better at managing our feelings without acting out on them. We don’t have to be afraid of feeling strong urges when we know what to do with them.

In this episode: 

• Learn to redirect your brain from what you want in the moment to what you want overall
• The goal is to get really good at feeling urges and discomfort and recognizing where they come from
• Breathe into the uncomfortable sensation and let yourself feel it to let it pass

Sara's links:

• Sara's website Sara Brewer Coaching
• Sara's podcast Overcome Pornography for Good
• Sara's Instagram @sarahbrewercoaching

Show Notes:  

• Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.
• Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!
• Contact us at [email protected].
• Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don’t make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast

Because of the stigma behind women and their sexuality, talking about pornography issues can be even more difficult. We feel like we'll die if we tell anyone we have a problem with pornography. Mackenzie Preza has struggled and learned that when women open up about their experiences, it becomes easier to find help and dispel shame. She also wants women to embrace their sexuality and be more open about it! 

In this episode: 

• The more you share your experiences, the easier it gets. 
• Sex is a gift from God that sometimes gets twisted in our culture to be “bad”
• Sharing our experiences helps others beat the shame surrounding pornography

Show notes:  

• Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.
• Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!
• Contact us at [email protected].
• Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don’t make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast.

This time we're switching roles! You'll hear from Creed and Crishelle, our young adults hosts, talk about their own stories of breaking the silence around shame, pornography, family struggles, and other sensitive issues. They share how others can develop the courage and permission to speak up about their own questions, struggles, and concerns. We're sharing a podcast episode originally published by one of our favorite therapists, Geoff Steurer, on his insightful From Crisis to Connection Podcast (episode 84). You definitely want to follow his podcast too!

Links:
From Crisis to Connection Podcast

Show Notes:  

• Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.
• Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!
• Contact us at [email protected].
• Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don’t make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast. 

When someone with a religious background is working through recovery from pornography, they may also be working through the repentance process. Hayden and Savannah Paul have seen the power of repentance in their own lives and love to tell others about it! You’ll hear some new ways of thinking about repentance, becoming a better person, and the role of a bishop in the process. 

In this episode: 

• Repentance is the process of learning to become like Jesus Christ. 
• Honesty is easier in a relationship of trust.
• Repentance is not punishment. It is the escape from punishment. 
• Church leaders can be another source of help, along with other powerful resources for recovery.

Links: 

I Stand At the Door Podcast 

Show Notes:  

• Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.
• Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!
• Contact us at [email protected].
• Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don’t make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast.

When we’re in the thick of recovery, it’s hard to see past the difficulties and imagine a bright future. It does get easier! Taylor Chambers says deciding what we want to do with our freedom is one way to find hope in the journey. We can start envisioning where we want to be so we have the motivation to keep working on recovery. 

In this episode: 

• There might be seasons where you go back to the basics or need a game plan to get through challenging times
• 3 ways people express life purpose: Personal growth, connection, and contribution
• How to know when you’re ready to move on to the next level

Links: 

[email protected]

Show Notes:  

• Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.
• Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!
• Contact us at [email protected].
• Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don’t make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast.

Smith Alley became addicted to pornography even before he was a teenager. Then his world turned upside down one day and he chose to begin a journey to recovery from pornography. As he turned from porn and toward loving and serving others, he connected with other teens who needed help, too. He created the Live Life Bigger Foundation to share his message, and has already spoken to 100,000+ people. Learn how serving others, redefining what love and happiness mean, and creating a schedule can help you become the person you want to be. 

In this episode: 

• We’re our own biggest bully 
• Habits and a schedule help fill the void 
• Be proud of ourselves for the little things 

Links: 

• [email protected]
• www.livelifebigger.org
• Instagram: @live.life.bigger

Show Notes:  

• Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.
• Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!
• Contact us at [email protected].
• Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Being a student is hard, especially when feeling alienated because of a struggle with pornography. Or maybe feeling confused about how to help a friend entrenched in this problem. Emi Bass wanted to find a way to help, so she founded the Un-Alone Club at BYU. Students are invited to meet over Zoom, anonymously or not, to find insight, community and relief from issues like pornography use, betrayal trauma, supporting friends struggling, and more. You’ll be inspired by her story and how one person can start something that really matters.

In this episode: 

• The opportunity to share stories anonymously allows members to find connection. 
• Finding the right resource can change the recovery journey.
• Shame doesn’t have to rule your life. If you can let it go, you can connect. 

Links: 

• Follow the Un-Alone Club on Instagram

Show Notes:  

• Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.
• Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!
• Contact us at [email protected].
• Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don’t make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast. 

You’ve probably heard about betrayal trauma in marriage, but this time we’re talking about how it shows up in dating relationships and what to do about it. Therapist Kaylee Dunn wants people to know they aren’t alone, they aren’t crazy, it’s normal to be in distress, and there is a way through with therapy with a qualified professional, education, and group support.

In this episode:

• Flashbacks, difficult moods, avoidance, and hyper-vigilance are normal responses to broken trust in a close relationship.
• Whether someone stays in the relationship or not, they will need support to heal the attachment wounds. 
• Why it’s important for partners to disclose their challenges with pornography even though it will cause pain.
• How someone can support a girlfriend/boyfriend who has experienced betrayal trauma in the past.

Links: 

• IG: @kayleecdunn
• solaceemotionalhealth.org/awake
• [email protected]
• https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdEYwhgdA8ODTWKKltdeLcg
• Awaken Facebook Group 

Show Notes:  

• Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.
• Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!
• Contact us at [email protected].
• Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don’t make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast. 

If we’re wondering whether we need to go to a therapist, it’s probably the time to make the jump! Rachel Denton suggests that when you do decide to start searching for the right therapist for you, look for someone you can trust. Find someone who is familiar with what you are struggling with, whether it’s pornography or mental health. And then be ready to start sharing your story - it’s one of the most healing things you can do in therapy.

In this episode: 

• Your first therapist doesn’t have to be your only therapist.
• The relationship of trust in a therapeutic relationship is very important.
• Successful change comes from being willing to share your story. 

Links: 

• Reach out to Rachel: [email protected]

Show Notes:  

• Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.
• Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!
• Contact us at [email protected].
• Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don’t make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast.

How can you keep a close relationship with your partner? It’s as simple as A-E-I-O-U! Using a check-in based on the vowels, Rhyll and Steven Croshaw communicate every night about how they are doing in emotional, mental, and physical health and their progress in their recovery. They share how this has helped them align their goals and keep from drifting apart. 

In this episode: 

Check-ins are for the person speaking - don’t interrupt, save questions for later

Each person shares honestly what is going on in their life; it isn’t about one partner policing the other

Recognize what a spouse is like in addiction and in recovery

Check-ins can also help in a sponsor/sponsee relationship

Links: 

Instagram: @salifelinefoundation

Facebook: SA Lifeline Foundation

salifeline.org

sal12step.org

Show Notes:  

Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here.

Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!

Contact us at [email protected].

Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don’t make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast.