Breaking the Silence

Living in recovery sounds nice, but what does it really mean? Our guest is a young husband and father who spent years entrenched in pornography and harmful sexual behavior until the day his wife discovered what was going on. That’s the day he calls the best day of his life. It was the first time he was ready to be fully honest. And even though it was traumatic for both he and his wife, it propelled them forward. He shares what his daily life is like now in order to live in freedom and honesty. Hear why marriage doesn’t solve a pornography problem, what single people need in order to be committed to recovery, and the importance of determining WHY you want to live free from pornography. “There’s so much potential to improve, change, stop, create a healthy life.”

Show notes: Read The Porn Myth by Matt Fradd. Find a 12-step support group. Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get podcast transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!

Let's talk about relearning healthy sexuality after being exposed to harmful media,  and overcoming the taboo on talking about sex! We continue the conversation with Laura Brotherson, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Sex Therapist (CST). You’ll love part 2 of her conversation with Creed and Crishelle about her insightful list of 20 characteristics of healthy and unhealthy sexuality.

Show notes: Download the Raising the Bar on Intimate Relationships - 20 Characteristics of Healthy and Unhealthy Sexuality PDF. Check out the book From Honeymoon to Happily Ever After: 23 Keys to Prepare for a Sextraordinary Marriage (Softcover) by Laura M. Brotherson – Get the book for $10 with this discount code: honeymoonprep. Learn more from Laura Brotherson here: StrengtheningMarriage.comand MaritalIntimacyInstitute.com.

Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get podcast transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagramfor more!

“Sex is God's wedding gift to a husband and wife.” That’s what Laura Brotherson believes!  She’s a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Sex Therapist (CST). One of the best things any young adult can do to be ready to enjoy that divine gift is to see clearly the differences between sexual health and the unhealthy, distorted expectations and behavior that come from current media and culture. Don’t miss this first part of her conversation with Creed and Crishelle about her insightful list of 20 characteristics of healthy and unhealthy sexuality.

Show notes: Download the Raising the Bar on Intimate Relationships - 20 Characteristics of Healthy and Unhealthy Sexuality PDF. Check out the book From Honeymoon to Happily Ever After: 23 Keys to Prepare for a Sextraordinary Marriage (Softcover) by Laura M. Brotherson – Get the book for $10 with this discount code: honeymoonprep.  Learn more from Laura Brotherson here: StrengtheningMarriage.com and MaritalIntimacyInstitute.com.

Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get podcast transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!

Our guest today is a young woman who has experienced two very different marriages - both times with young men who had some involvement with pornography. Hear how she realized she was in an abusive marriage and made the heart-breaking decision to leave. In time, she chose to marry again, even though her new husband had also struggled with pornography. Her new relationship and marriage has been wonderful. What made the difference? What are some signs of abusive or healthy relationships? Ultimately, healthy relationships have partners who believe in their own worth and the worth of their partner. 

Show Notes: Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get podcast transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!

We're all recovering from something on some level. Recovery is all about healing, growth, and change. It might be from a broken arm, a procrastination habit, or a pornography problem. Creed and Crishelle talk with Alex Theobald, a young therapist and PhD student at Texas Tech about using recovery principles to help us create the change we want. Alex encourages us to identify what we want in our life, what it looks like, and what actions will help us get there. Following recovery principles creates trust in ourselves and restores trust with others in our life. Learn from Alex as he shares examples from his own life. Building a plan based on principles rather than a checklist of things that might not connect with the right outcomes can help us create the life we want to live. 

Did you enjoy this? Listen to our first interview with Alex, 3 Steps for Better Shame Resilience with Alex Theobald [23]

Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!

Everyone can relate to that terrible feeling of wanting to shut down, disengage from people, and avoid situations because we messed up. Creed and Crishelle talk with Alex Theobald, a young therapist and PhD student at Texas Tech about being more resilient when we feel shame. He encourages us to be aware of when we feel shame. What are you learning about yourself? His top 3 steps to get past shame are to learn how to accept that you are experiencing shame. Then learn how to communicate that safely to someone you trust. Finally, take action towards living consistent with your values. Alex shares some of his own experiences with shame and encourages us to turn those really human and imperfect moments into something that can be productive.

Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!

Most of us grew up feeling awkward about saying the names of sexual body parts and how bodies respond sexually. Creed and Crishelle talk again with Harper Defreitas, a young woman who learned a lot while working for a leading sex therapist for LDS couples, Laura Brotherson. It's really important to be comfortable with these terms and know your body because you’re a sexual being - you’re in charge of your sexuality and your sexual experience. She says we need to get educated to know these different parts, say the words aloud, and practice by talking with trusted sources. It’s so important to know that men and women have different sexual response cycles. It can help single people understand themselves and their partner in order to make better decisions about physical affection. And it helps married couples have a better sexual experience. These are skills that will bless you in your relationships now and later.

Did you enjoy this? Listen to our first interview with Harper Should Young Adults Learn About Sexuality While They’re Waiting for Marriage? With Harper Defreitas [21]

Show Notes: From Honeymoon to Happily Ever After: 23 Keys to Prepare for a Sextraordinary Marriage (Softcover) by Laura M. Brotherson – Get the book for $10 with this discount code: honeymoonprep

Another great book is  Sexual Wholeness in Marriage: An LDS Perspective on Integrating Sexuality and Spirituality in our Marriages by Dean M. Busby PhD, Jason S. Carroll PhD, Chelom Leavitt.

Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!

Some people wonder if it’s appropriate to get educated or talk about sexuality with single young adults who plan to save sexual relationships for marriage. Creed and Crishelle talk with Harper Defreitas about the benefits of learning about sexuality now. Harper is a young woman who learned a lot while working for a leading sex therapist for LDS couples, Laura Brotherson. She says education can lead to better decisions in dating, stronger self-mastery, and a healthy sexual mindset. It helps us develop as complete beings with emotional, spiritual, and physical wholeness. If we don’t talk about it in positive way, we’re going to be taught distorted views through media and culture. Harper shares some open, positive, and safe sources to learn from for young people who share values of sexual integrity as taught in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Show Notes: From Honeymoon to Happily Ever After: 23 Keys to Prepare for a Sextraordinary Marriage (Softcover) by Laura M. Brotherson – Get the book for $10 with this discount code: honeymoonprep

Check out Laura Brotherson’s website. Another great book is  Sexual Wholeness in Marriage: An LDS Perspective on Integrating Sexuality and Spirituality in our Marriages by Dean M. Busby PhD, Jason S. Carroll PhD, Chelom Leavitt.

Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!

Once you get started, how do you keep talking? Creed and Crishelle share some important principles for successful experiences. These conversations work best when it’s a two-sided discussion instead of a one-sided interrogation. You don’t have to make judgments immediately - work to be curious and learn about the other person. You can have dual emotions going on – compassion and fear, for example. Share your real emotions in an honest way, and be prepared to listen and accept how your partner is feeling as well. It’s an opportunity to start a pattern of open conversations on this and other deep subjects. Please be aware that conversations about pornography within marriages can be very different because of the commitment – we’ll talk about that in future episodes.

This is part 3 in a series. If you liked this, you can also listen to Part 1 Why Talk About Pornography with Someone You’re Dating? [18] and Part 2 When is the Right Time to Talk to Someone You’re Dating About Pornography? [19].

Show Notes: Get our Free Guide: How to Talk About Pornography When You’re Dating. Read the Ensign Magazine articles on Dating and Pornography (see list in sidebar under Young Adults).

Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!

No need to worry about when to start talking about the issue of pornography – Creed and Crishelle share thoughts about how to know when it’s a good time depending on the phase of the relationship. And whenever that time is, it helps to give someone time to prepare for the conversation instead of just jumping in without warning.

Show Notes: Get our Free Guide: How to Talk About Pornography When You’re Dating. Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Get transcripts and learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Contact us at [email protected]. Support our podcast and help us reach more young people here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more!