Brine Weekly

EXCLUSIVE AUDIO retrieved from the highly private and embarrassing double sex therapy session of two total weirds. Also, order at a classic American diner and then diet off the calories with the help of ZORKON!

You're surrounded. A man is on acid jazz, and the Grape Ape wants to tell you his political opinions. You're surrounded. In stereo.

You meet in an inn, and embark on an epic quest to discover how Martha is doing, how you'll die 20 consecutive times, and various other facts about chests, cats, and ray guns.

Have you been to Germany? Have you REALLY? Are you willing to fight Gobbo for a crab brooch (worth 500G)? How much do you know about the lost alternate universe Seinfeld episodes? I thought so.

Dusty McClavin helps you get your chakras aligned for the new year. Paige's Pages returns with a new spin. And a chance meeting between two men chances again. All this and more...INSIDE YOUR COMPUTER.

The Libertine is back, and this time he's THIRSTY. Speaking of which, do you VAPE, bro? If you do, you may end up in the HOSPITAL, which is not a good place to spend THE NEW YEAR. Okay, I covered all the sketches. Can I go now? Please. Please, I'm so hungry. Please let me out. I just want to see my family agai--

We’re in hiding his week, so please enjoy Fritz Milchmacher’s classic sound experiment Yogurt Master. Actually, it’s by Michael Arthur (who also does our music).

It’s time to coat your family in yogurt and gather around the fire to get all crusty for the holidays. Bring along the sounds and smells of the midwest, a sexy slip-and-slide, and an escape pod. Just in case.

Celebrate the glorious locomotive! Trains move along a track! How delightful! O trains, our souls exalt in thee! Gouge them fully with your powerful pistons! Fill our stomachs with Hot Pockets and our OkCupid profiles with lies! Purchase us XXS men's pants at Lane Bryant! Amen.

This week we take you on a tour of some of our favorite graves, get some bad news from your doctor, and give you some tips on where to put your drum kit. Plus a promotional message from the local Dildo Emporium.