Ever walked by a shawty you didn’t like and muttered “I hate that bitch!!” under your breath? Ever been minding your own business, enjoying your coffee, and that chick you hate walks into the cafe and you can’t help but think, “ugh whys she here, I hate that bitch!!” Ever been scrolling thru Instagram and seen a selfie and thought, “why am I still following her, I hate that bitch!!” I’ve thought every single one of these things about the guest for this episode. For years, I despised her. I hated being in any room she was in. I hated it even more when she was in the rooms I wasn’t in, but wanted nothing more than to be in. Now you might be surprised: how can you say you hate her, when you guys kind of work together? Or, when it seems like you guys are kind of friends? Female frenemies and female friendships: both twisted, both complex, and both full of a lot of calling each other bitches. In this episode, I chat with Amneet Athwal, who once upon a time was the bitch to my “I hate that bitch!!”. Now she’s a strong visionary behind Brown Girl Guilt, my support system through this pivot into this next chapter of my life, and a dear friend. I get real and raw in this episode about my initial distaste for Amneet and the journey from leaving coffee shops she entered to facetiming one another at 1am. We talk about how much better it is when we work with one another as opposed to working against one another, how to put your ego aside to build something bigger than yourself, and why we didn’t like each other in the first place.

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During my tarot deck spreads, a question that I ask the universe often is, “how can I create space for all that I want to attract into my life?”. In this contemplation I ask, how can I open myself up more to all that I so badly want?

The key to receiving what you want is just that -- receiving. In order for you to attract all that you want, you have to first signal to the universe that you are ready to receive and second that you are willing to receive.

You have to tell the universe, “I receive that.”

“I receive that” is the title of one of my favourite meditations on the Insight Timer by my dear friend Dora Kamau. The description of the meditation says, “this is a practice that holds space for us to affirm ourselves and be intentional with what we are choosing to fill our beings with. It’s a beautiful exchange of giving and receiving from yourself and also from others.”

Opening myself up to the universe to receive is a lesson I learned from my beautiful friend Dora, among many other lessons. Dora, who is a mindfulness artist and meditation guide, chatted with me on the beauty of and importance of receiving, how to get really clear about the seeds you are planting, and how to start working towards a place where you feel deserving of all that you want to receive.

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Dear babygurls,

The universe will send you many distractions in life. It might be a shinier new work opportunity, a sexy mans with a comb over and beard that connects, or the aunts and uncles who already asked what you do for work last week, but just want you to tell them one more time.

Distractions are derailing and in a world of distractions, our power lies in tuning them out. It lies in blocking out the damn noise.

In this episode, we hear from one of our favourite melodies, the lovely Tarannum Thind. With a wild career under her belt and not an ounce of drama or controversy around her name, Tarannum talks about the longevity and breadth of her career, just how she gets everything she wants, and how to block out the noise.

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Here’s me saying in all my honesty and vulnerability: I got 99 problems and commitment is all of them.

When we hear the word commitment, we often immediately think about monogamy and relationships -- but my commitment issues run much deeper than monogamy and across a wider range.

All my life, I’ve been first to abandon myself and last to commit to myself. Every time I’ve started to focus on myself, I’ve quickly been swayed by the first shiny person or opportunity to come my way.

This pattern of non-commitment has bled into many facets of my life: romantic partnerships, platonic relationships, and professional opportunities. I’ve had a string of failed situationships, multiple new best friends, and incredibly short-lived work opportunities. Which makes absolute sense on this side of self-awareness: how was I going to be successful at committing to anything and anybody else if i wasn’t even able to commit to my own damn self?

Brown Girl Guilt is the first time I’ve acknowledged my own bullshit and given myself a time out. In this time out, I’m only allowed to commit to myself, that which is most aligned for me, and really ask myself if the person I want to date, the friendship I want to maintain, or the job I am saying yes contributes to my overall spiritual growth.

In this episode, I chat with one of my best friends and soul mates, Rumneek Johal on what her relationship has been like with commitment, how she’s navigating patterns of self-abandonment, and learning from this beautiful angel how I can continue to better commit to myself.

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I needed my relationship with my mother to fall apart so that I could fall apart. I needed to build that relationship back up so that I could build myself back up. It hasn’t been easy. This relationship has been the toughest one in my life and repairing it has been crucial. It makes me who I am and what I will become. All of my inner child healing has stemmed from my “mother wound”. It was in understanding my mother that I was able to fully understand myself. Naturally, it’s most intentional for me to set the foundation of Brown Girl Guilt with the person who has given me my foundation. The debut episode of Brown Girl Guilt is with none other than my mother, Manmeet who you’ll often hear me lovingly refer to as Meetay. I ask her what she gained and lost by becoming my mother at the age of 19 and what it means to be the mother of a bold, sassy, tenacious daughter -- that’s me!

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If guilt is the lid that limits our potential, love is the transmutable energy that liberates us all. Brown Girl Guilt is the ultimate blueprint for this transmutation. We’re building and honouring gratitude, marinating in glory, and granting ourselves grace on the beautiful journey back home to ourselves. Brown Girl Guilt is where cycles end and revolutions start.

Like BGG? Connect with us on Instagram @_browngirlguilt or www.browngirlguilt.com