Secure the bag is not just a Lil Uzi Vert song. It’s a whole ass mind set. Secure the bag means going after what you truly want and hitting all the goal posts you’ve laid out for yourself. And the bag can be anything really.

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In this episode, titled Chaa Da Cup, I’m going to give y’all a glimpse into the kind of chaa da cups that changed my life. I ask my friend Mandeep Chatha why he likes being that bold, blunt, badass homie in his friend’s lives and why having that kind of a friend is important. I ask him about switching from a negative to a positive topi. And most importantly, as the driven, ambitious businessman that he is, just what he saw in lil’ ole harpo that made him encourage me so strongly to shoot higher.

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In this episode, for the first time ever, I get to ask my dad his secret formula for being the father to an empire like harpo. I get to ask him how, in having a daughter like me, where he’s had to make sacrifices, what he’s struggled with, and how he’s changed as a man. I also take some space and ask him what he wishes his kids knew about his journey with fatherhood.

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Multiplicities can and do exist. This can simultaneously be the happiest I’ve been in life, but the most overwhelmed, scared, and anxious. Yes, that’s real and yes we do exist. But that not everything has to have an answer. Some things can remain a question mark.

This episode is an exploration of these multiplicities -- the good, the bad, & the ugly of growing into a stronger and stronger version of yourself. 

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It’s episode 11 titled “My First Tampon” and it’s about to get TMI up in this bitch. Welcome to Harpo’s history with tampons: a tale of unfortunate events that has an incredibly happy ending I promise. You might wonder, why does this experience deserve an entire podcast episode? What’s so noteworthy about your usage of tampons? You gon find out.

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*The following episode discusses body image, body shaming, and bullying. If at any point you feel triggered, please stop and take care of yourself. You are so loved.*

We’ve all heard our boy Rumi say it: “the wound is where the light enters”. For me, the wound is also where the laser enters and zaps away the follicles of my coarse, thick hair. In this episode I’m going to talk about my relationship with my body hair and what this journey of stripping my body of its hair has been like. It’s funny, it’s traumatizing, it’s vulnerable, it’s TMI, and it’s important. My brown girls know this shit like the back of their hands.

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TW: The following episode discusses body image, body shaming, and bullying. If at any point you feel triggered, please stop and take care of yourself. You are so loved.

Dear body,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was so mean to you when you were just trying to keep me alive. I’m sorry that I lit fires in your crevices and when I begged you to put them out, I yelled at you when you did so in the only way you knew how. I’m sorry that I kicked you every time you were down. I’m sorry that I never spoke to you the way I spoke to others, treated you with kindness like I treated others, gave you a hug when all you needed was a hug. I’m sorry I dragged you through the mud and carried on without a chance to wipe off, sorry I walked around in you and on you with dirty shoes on, making a motel out of you while I was too busy driving to every destination, not realizing that you were not a motel, but the big, massive mansion homies only dream of.

Dear body, I’m so so sorry.

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If there is a laundry list of what constitutes a good brown girl, there’s an even longer laundry list of all that constitutes a bad brown girl. Tattoos, drinking and having a sexuality are just the beginning. In my case, I’m 100% the black sheep of my family - SURPRISE SURPRISE - because I very much go against the small box that historically has been made available to me; or I’m accessing parts of life that the women in my lineage have not been granted access to before.

In this episode, I chat with an incredibly powerful woman, Barinder Rasode, who I’ve looked up to for years, who I was looking up to before I even came into the current consciousness I live in, before I even understood this dichotomy between a good girl and bad girl.

In this episode, we talk about just that. I got to chat with Barinder, who perfectly smashes this crazy dichotomy of a good brown girl and bad brown girl. I ask her what’s made her a bad brown girl for the community, how she continues to be the trailblazer she is, despite the harsh criticisms that have surrounded her, and what, in her eyes, constitutes a 'good brown girl', to which she gives the most badass answer. 

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Okay story time. You’re at a bar with your friends. You’re looking fly, you’re looking spicy. You’ve got a drank in your hands, your girlfriends on your side, and not a care in the world. A mans walks up to you and you notice that he’s probably interested in you. You, on the other hand, are not. He starts to make small talk while moving closer and closer to you. You try to end the convo and get back to your lip syncin and drink sippin, but he stops you. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asks. You panic. You don’t want the drink and you want the mans to also leave you alone. You sort thru the filing cabinet drawer titled “Excuses” in your head. You bump into the summer 2020 banger by AP Dhillon & intense. Wrong drawer labelled excuses. You keep searching. Bam, there it is. You ask yourself which one you’re using this time: “Oh, I have a boyfriend, sorry” or “Thank you, but it’s girls night! I’d like to get back to them” or “I’ve had too much to drink already, thank you though!”. You take one out of the drawer, fumble while you’re saying it, sweating and getting nervous because lying always sucks. He looks at you in disbelief and walks away. This is a tale as old as time. Women: we are constantly playing mental gymnastics when shuffling thru the excuses drawer, when instead, we can literally just say NO. And I get it. Sometimes, saying you have a boyfriend is much of a safer bet than to tell a mans no bro I’m just not into you like that. But this pattern of not being able to say no bleeds into so many other facets of our lives as women. Straight up, I don’t know how to say no bro. In episode 7 of Brown Girl Guilt titled just that, I’m having a chat with one of the boldest, baddest, most outspoken women in my circle: Pamela Sangha. Pam is strong. She tells you like it is. She takes no shit and gives no shit. In this episode, I ask her what her relationship is with the word “NO”, how to set boundaries with yourself and others, and how to stop playing mental gymnastics with your mind’s filing cabinet drawer.

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To be a woman is to not have a home. And to have no one understand that you have no home. To be a woman is to chase your whole life, spend the entirety of your life finding a home. To pack up and leave, to unpack and settle in. Again and again, time after time. To be a woman is to not have stability, a foundation you’re working on building. To be a woman is to not get comfortable settling in. It’s the constant being told your home is the next one or the one you came from before. To be a woman is to not have a home, and to be looked at, called names, outcasted if you do. It’s to be denied the personhood that comes from having a home. It’s to have all these definitions of home, but no understanding of home. To be a woman is to not have a home. To constantly try and search for your home. My mother always said to me: theme da koi ghar ni banda. A woman has no home. She’s implored me my whole life to build my own home, to never leave one man’s home, my father’s home, to another man’s home, my husband’s home. In this episode, I sat down with one of my dearest and loveliest, kindest friends Nimi Chauhan. Of the many things I look up to Nimi for, perhaps her strong conviction to just live her damn life is number one. She’s a single Punjabi woman in her 40s and she lives alone -- in a home that she freaking owns!! And so, in a community where a woman has no home and in a community where a woman who has a woman is rare, I chat with Nimi about her house and her home.

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