Building a Better Dave

I ruined an Angel. I did. There was an Angel in my mother-in-laws bathroom. Its been there for years. One day while peeing, I looked up and noticed it had something (maybe a book) in its one hand, and in the other it had a candle with no wick. A candle with no wick, and the top of it slight indentation around it. It looked falic. Now there are certain words you don't use around your mother-in-law. You are still trying to help be happy that her daughter is married to you. That's the plan at least. But one word I typically do not use around my mother in law "Dildo." So on the way home I told my wife (trying to be weird, shocking and goofy) "Why is the Angel in the bathroom holding a Dildo?" To this I believe my wife just said ," David?... sigh..." My warped sense of humor that she found unique as we were dating has lost its magic. Never in my life would I think my wife (my trusted and most intimate partner) would tell her mother, "Dave thinks the Angel in the bathroom is holding a Dildo." Now for the record, I was told my mother-in-law laughed (I am very lucky in the Mother in law department), but on the other hand I ruined the Angel. Nobody can look at the "Candle" anymore without thinking Dildo. Rumor has it, I may end up with it as a present as nobody can look at it anymore.

I was thinking of all the Christmas specials and how one sided the are. In the aftermath of children getting shot by cops we are becoming a little cynical. We want to look at the other side. When I thought about it, here is what I came up with.

Frosty Was a Pedophile

Frosty the snowman could slide around without moving his feet (OK, he didn't have any) and he loved to play with Children. He sounds like Michael Jackson and that's when it came it me. Frosty was a pedophile

Rudolph Had A Serious Coke Problem

Rudolph stayed up thinking about leading Santa's sleigh. We think this was his dream, but really he was on a three day coke binge. His nose was Red because he did lots of coke. This is why Santa didn't want him guiding his sleigh. He knew Rudolph was going to crash unexpectedly, quickly, and Santa didn't want to die.

It's funny how different smells and sound just zap you back to certain time and places. Every time I hear "Eruption" by Van Halen its 1978 and I'm sitting in Al School's bedroom with Scott Kenepp looking at the record player (it was 1978) just baffled as to how Eddie is making that noise. When I hear the song "Linus and Lucy" (what most people consider the Peanuts theme) I think we all can flash back to sitting in front of the television, of hurrying back because the commercials were almost over and the show was coming back on, and watching a Charlie Brown Christmas.

I had a weird experience the other day. I was driving to Michigan and stopped at a rest area (the older I get I have to pee every 15 minutes). Maybe it was the smell of diesel fuel and the sound of trucks, but for a second I really felt like my Dad was standing right behind me. It's so strange to miss someone so much you rarely saw. I didn't turn around, but it was just a very strange feeling. It was cold outside, but I was suddenly warm. I just felt his presence. It's strange how much someone who didn't see a whole lot at the end of his life. But in a way my Dad was like a Charlie Brown Christmas. You know every year he's going to be there. How weird would it be if all of the sudden they just didn't broadcast that? Well that's how I feel this year. It's not surprising after all. The holidays always make us think of family, but for the record I miss you Dad and I'm really going to miss you telling me the same thing you told me the last time I visited you. Alzheimers sucked, but it was better than nothing. Nothing. Nothing sucks.

I will forever associate the word "home" with being wrapped in the supper thick black comforter we had after playing in the freezing snow, and having mom bring me some hot chocolate. Christmas music on the stereo, and staring at our tree. Peace, warmth, and love. The world' best combination.

Last night I was sitting in my mother in law's awesome home. I had all my kids there, we were decorating the tree. We were making fun of ornaments made long ago (Why is Santa carrying a giant green bean?). At point we were running out of room for ornaments and all the cool ornaments were on the tree so I sat down, and I pulled out my phone and plugged it into a portable speaker and started playing Harry Belefonte's Christmas album. Every year I play Harry Belefonte's Christmas album while decorating the tree and I'm right back in my living room with Mom making hot chocolate. I just wanted to suck it in. Here are my step kids. One is married, one is in college with a serious boyfriend in South Carolina, and one getting ready to go to College. Who knows how many of these we will have. Soon they all will have in-laws and it's a crap shoot to get them all together. So I just sat there and watched my beautiful wife, my awesome kids finish decorating a tree. I told my brain to be a sponge and suck in and hold on to this memory. With my astigmatism and my glasses needing cleaned there were extra sparkles added to the lights. It was awesome. It felt like home.

Today I share a story about playing an outdoor festival with my band "The $ugar Daddies" on a July fourth weekend. We headlined this outdoor festival. The bad news is nobody had tested the power going to the flatbed truck along with the power so that by the time my band took the stage we needed the lights. The bad news as is soon as we turned them on, the power would trip a breaker. The solution? We had to play the indoor stage where there was no air conditioning and it was easy 95+ degrees with the giant holiday weekend crowd. It was one of those nights that everybody was hitting on all points and we just had that groove. Everything was just working.

Then it came time for me to do the Song "Texas Flood" by Stevie Ray Vaughn. This was a song that I just got to "Go Off" on and have fun. To this day, it was like being hit by lightning. I felt what I wanted to play from my toes and it just shot out my fingers. It was awesome. The crowd reacted. It was a feeling like no other. The band lasted a few more years, but we started flipping musicians, playing smaller clubs and we eventually fizzled out. For me, July 4th at the Northside was in the top 5 gigs. Opening for Blue Oyster Cult was another one.

So one of the old trumpet players contacts me and he's trying to get a band together that is close to what my old band played. I've been in so many bands that just didn't work for so many reasons. This sounds promising. I'm a bit nervous as I might get really disappointed. I want that feeling one more time, so I'm going to go chase that high. e.

This week I am home alone (feel free to put your hands on your face and make a face like Macaulay Culkin). I did something I hardly ever do.

Nothing.

I sat on the couch and petted my cat.

It is here where I learned why I love working on my next project. This might be reading or listening to a book, thinking of the next product I want to create, etc.

When I'm not thinking about things coming in the future, I think about the past.

I don't like to think about the past.

I sat there and reality let me know that my Dad was really gone. The cards I had been dealt, were gone. Game over.

I had a good old fashioned cry.

It felt good in the end.

My cat was very confused.

I prefer to look forward, and see a picture of an improved life. One where I help people. One where I leave the planet a better place.

I often fall asleep at my desk. I then get up, and go home. I bop till I drop in the immortal words of Rick Springsfield.

I'm OK with that.

Relaxation is over rated in my book. It doesn't compare to the adrenaline rush of new ideas, of creativity pulsing in my veins. No contest.

I'll sleep when I'm dead.

www.betterdave.com

Today I talk about the train wreck that was American Idol 13.

When I was 24, my mother passed away from her second (well technically third) heart attack. It was April 27, 1989. It had been 6 years since she had passed. As someone who talks in public for a living (teaching technology) it didn't seem like a stretch to take two of my passions (teaching and God) and put them together. At least that's what the Pastor's assistant thought when she asked me to sub for him and do a sermon titled, "What my Mother meant to me" on Mother's Day.

This would be the sermon that would "Launch" my role as a pastor in training (a course that later went away from this church and landed on the Internet). As this is Mother's day, I thought I would share it with you. The audio quality is very 1989 (originally recorded on a cassette deck)