This week on Burning the Ships, I sit down with Dan Peterson, a licensed clinical professional counselor, parent coach, and founder of Compass 4 Life—a coaching program built around helping parents better connect with and guide their children, especially those who are wired a little differently.
Dan spent decades in the mental health space before realizing that most traditional models were unintentionally reinforcing negative behavior. So, he burned the ships, he left the system behind and started building something new. In this episode, we dive into how he helps parents stop managing behavior and start building connection, why discipline without trust doesn’t work, and how we can reframe “strong-willed” as a superpower rather than a flaw.
If you’re a parent or even just a leader of people, this episode will challenge the way you approach discipline, communication, and your own emotional regulation.
Key Talking Points of the Episode
00:00 Introduction
02:03 JJ’s Joke of the Week
02:51 Meet Dan Peterson: Counselor turned parent coach, founder of Compass for Life
03:55 Why Dan walked away from the clinical world to coach parents directly
05:34 Finding a solution to help both children and their parents
08:30 Why kids will seek connection any way they can—even through misbehavior
10:40 Understanding the real meaning of discipline
13:45 Setting an example for your children by taking ownership and accountability
16:28 Modeling apology and responsibility as a parent
18:45 How a sincere apology builds trust and self-worth in kids
23:07 Why strong-willed, intense kids are often the most empathetic
26:25 You can’t control your kid and it’s not your job to
28:28 The kind of parents that Dan helps with their children
33:51 The 3 Legs of Dan’s Parenting Framework: Connection, Disconnection, Limits
38:04 Lecturing vs. listening: Jason’s hard-earned lesson from his daughter
42:08 The long-term cost of coaching too much and pushing too hard
45:04 How Compass 4 Life works + Dan’s new group program for parents
47:30 18 summers, blind spots, and giving your kids what they really need
48:36 Where to learn more about Compass 4 Life and Dan’s programs
51:40 You’re not a bad parent, maybe you just need different tools
Quotables
“You have to train yourself to see success—and give your connection to the effort, not just the outcome.”
“Discipline without connection doesn’t motivate change. It motivates defensiveness.”
“It’s not because you’re a bad parent, it’s because you may not have the right tools yet.”
Links
Compass 4 Life
https://www.thecompass4life.com/
https://courses.thecompass4life.com/opt-in
https://www.facebook.com/Compass4Life
608B Capital
https://608bcapital.com