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Alpha Geek

The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.

"I dunno, ask Rick. He's our alpha geek."

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Uninstalled
Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.

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Assmosis
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

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Xerox Subsidy
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

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Under Mouse Arrest

Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct.

"Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."

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Swiped Out
An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.

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Cobweb
A WWW site that never changes.

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Chip Jewelry

Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration.

"I paid three grand for that Mac and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."

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Starter Marriage
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

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Open-Collar Workers
People who work at home or telecommute.

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