But For Real

Alcohol culture is pervasive—and while alcohol isn’t unhealthy for EVERYONE, the discourse can be pretty inescapable. Whether you’ve been alcohol free for years, curious about your relationship with alcohol, or trying to stop, this episode is for you!

This episode covers:

• 00:03:08 - Tea & Crumpets: All Rhodes Lead Here by Mariana Zapata and delaying gratification by doing things slowly
• 00:08:20 - Step Into My Office: How do I set boundaries with family related to alcohol?
• 00:13:25 - The Lore: Val’s journey to an alcohol free life
• 00:26:55 - The DSM: Alcohol in 2025
• 00:57:36 - Now That's What I Call....OKAAAAY!
• 00:59:41 - Val Pick: "Reasons I Drink" by Alanis Morissette
• 01:02:06 - Em Pick: "Escapism." by Raye
• 01:03:24 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Two 10 year old girls beat 2 chest grandmasters & the annual Gallup Life Evaluation index

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• Gallup poll studying American’s consumption habits
• What Is a Standard Drink? Measurements of Alcohol Explained | LoveToKnow
• Sunnyside
• Reframe
• Hello Someday
• The Killjoy Afterparty
• Creative Sobriety
• This Naked Mind Podcast
• This Naked Mind
• Quit Like a Woman
• Tired of Thinking About Drinking
• The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
• 
  

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into an always controversial topic: infidelity. They explore what infidelity actually is, statistics, why people cheat, cultural considerations, and the role therapy can play.

This episode covers:

• 03:28 - Tea & Crumpets: The Osbournes and Shrinking Season 2
• 06:08 - Step Into My Office: HELP! My friend is cheating…
• 10:04 - The DSM: THE hottest debate in all media ever and IRL relationships… let’s talk about INFIDELITY
• 38:29 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 41:52 - Emerson’s Pick: "My Mind" by Yebba
• 46:45 - Valerie’s Pick: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Disco
• 47:53 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: A former chef helping street dogs after they gave him hope in his darkest days & Dan Pelzer’s legacy

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• Prolific reader, former Marine and social worker Dan Pelzer 
• Street dogs gave him hope during dark days. Now he’s returning the favor
• "My Mind" by Yebba
• "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Disco
• https://what-dan-read.com/

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this episode, we are excited to dive into all things men’s mental health & the power of gaming with one of The Gaia Center’s team members, Sam DiMartino!

In his clinical work, Sam supports individuals and couples through an array of topics like grief, trauma, toxic masculinity + men’s issues, systemic oppression, identity exploration etc and also leads our men’s group Tearing Down The Walls! As our Client Journey Liaison he assists our leadership team with ensuring excellent client care and experience, and he does a damn good job. When he’s not therapizing, you can find him gaming, creating, being a literal comedian and sharing his love with his wife Ruby and their two cats Sophie and Claus. 

This episode covers:

• 00:03:24 - Tea & Crumpets: forRest Mind Ambiance YouTube channel, Heartstopper, and Donkey Kong Bananza
• 00:09:12 - Step Into My Office: Is my little brother addicted to video games?
• 00:18:09 - The DSM: Men’s mental health and the impact of video games in today’s culture
• 00:44:10 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 00:46:12 - Sam Pick: "ZZZ Top" by Aesop Rock
• 00:46:53 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Older aged folks finding connection through gaming, a city-run program in Seoul, SK is combating isolation among adults of all ages who live alone, and Sam’s cat Claus
• 00:50:14 - Sam Quizzes Val & Em on Gaming
• 00:59:56 - Rapid Fire Q&A

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• forRest Mind Ambiance YouTube channel
• Heartstopper
• Donkey Kong Bananza
• Aesop Rock - ZZZ Top (Official Video)
• Gaming in their golden years article
• Seoul, South Korea community program

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Today’s episode is allllll about MONEY HUNNY – how we are influenced to think about the construct of money, financial wellbeing, and balancing all of this in the modern landscape of capitalism and consumerism.

This episode covers:

• 06:59 - Tea & Crumpets: Stretching in the pool + Courtney Carver
• 11:27 - Step Into My Office: Navigating financial boundaries with friends 
• 18:04 - The DSM: The Psychology of Money
• 44:17 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 45:41 - Emerson Pick: "Seven Rings" by Ariana Grande
• 48:07 - Valerie Pick: "Look At Me Now" by Karmin (CB Cover)
• 48:55 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: H-E-B supporting Texas flood relief efforts + a crow visiting his Danish “chosen family”

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• Courtney Carver
• Money Beliefs and Financial Behaviors: Development of the Klontz Money Script Inventory
• Scarcity mindset article
• Conflating Income and Self-Worth. The Money Trap 2 | by Baillie Aaron
• 7 rings by Ariana Grande
• Look At Me Now by Karmin
• The Butt Family, H-E-B, and the H.E. Butt Foundation announce $5 million donation for Texas flood recovery efforts
• A crow visits his Danish chosen family often

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In today’s world, there’s an interesting juxtaposition between constant (and often necessary) use of technology coupled with conversations around unplugging. In this episode, we dive into digital detoxing, why everyone suddenly wants a flip phone, and how our nervous systems are begging for boundaries. From nostalgic phone memories to the psychology of being “always on,” we’re asking: can we ever truly unplug? (Spoiler: you don’t have to throw your phone in the ocean… but we get it.)

This episode covers:

• 05:48 - Tea & Crumpets: Tokyo Disney & Sunrise On The Reaping
• 10:47 - Step Into My Office: Setting tech boundaries while working from home
• 15:43 - The DSM: Digital Detox + Unplugging
• 39:41 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 42:32 - Val's Pick: "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch
• 44:06 - Em's Pick: "Two Ghosts" by Harry Styles
• 44:23 - Wait...What? - The concept of “reheating nachos
• 46:46 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Clarksville, TN 4 year old saves her daycare teacher’s life & an 81-year-old waitress said she couldn’t retire, so a stranger raised over $300K for her

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• Sunrise On The Reaping
• Business of Apps Push Notifications Statistics of 2025
• How Multitasking Drains Us
• All You Wanted by Michelle Branch
• LOVE/HATE LIST by DREAM BABY PRESS
• Two Ghosts- Harry Styles
• Clarksville, TN 4 year old saves her daycare teacher’s life
• An 81-year-old waitress said she couldn’t retire, so a stranger raised over $300K for her

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this episode, we have our first installment of a special new mini series titled Living Your Activism. In this series, we're talking to activists and advocates across a wide variety of missions and passions about how they found their thing, what they do to stay grounded and connected with joy amidst all the chaos in the world, and what it means to truly live their activism, not just as a checkbox or some burnout inducing giant commitment, but as something that's interwoven throughout their life in a nourishing, sustainable way.

Our guest for this first installment is Ella Magers, MSW, a holistic fitness rebel on a mission to ignite fierce compassion and revolutionize what it means to be healthy and fit.

She’s a thought-leader, professional speaker, podcast host, and the dynamic creator and host of the Evolution of Fitness with Ella YouTube show—a space where strength meets soul and transformation goes way beyond the physical.

Vegan since 1995, Ella holds a Master’s in Social Work and is a certified personal trainer, yoga instructor, and food freedom coach. With over two decades of experience in the wellness space, she’s helped thousands break free from toxic diet culture, rewire self-sabotaging patterns, and build powerful, plant-strong bodies they love living in.

Ella is a former bikini bodybuilding champion and lifelong athlete who blends mindset, movement, and plant-based nutrition into transformational coaching that sticks. She was named one of the world’s top trainers by Bodybuilding.com and Shape Magazine, and serves on the board of Hogs & Kisses Farm Sanctuary.

Based in Miami Beach, you’ll find her training, teaching, filming, and adventuring with her beloved rescue chihuahua, Fiona.

This episode covers:

• 01:39 - Tea & Crumpets: Emerson’s experience with trying hair glossing
• 05:07 - Step Into My Office: Can seasonal depression happen in summer?
• 10:26 - Living Your Activism Interview with Ella Magers
• 40:46 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: A triple organ transplant recipient met with his donors family

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• Triple organ transplant recipient meets with donors family

Connect with Ella Magers:

• Website: https://www.ellamagers.com
• IG: @sexyfitvegan 

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

While the thought of telling a group of strangers about your inner feelings can be scary for many people, group therapy can actually be incredibly powerful. In this episode, we explore the roots of group therapy, the different types of groups, the benefits, times when group therapy is and isn’t a good fit, and resources for finding a group appropriate for your healing journey.

This episode covers:

• 06:21 - Tea & Crumpets: Handmaid’s Tale Season 6 and Flow
• 12:46 - Step Into My Office: Group therapy after higher levels of treatment
• 15:40 - The Lore: The story of Emerson getting stuck in a stampede in New Orleans
• 21:54 - The DSM: The Power of Group Therapy
• 53:04 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 54:42 - Emerson’s Pick: "Whole Again" by Atomic Kitten
• 56:56 - Valerie’s Pick: "Tell Him" by Celine Dion & Barbra Streisand
• 57:41 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: The Offline Club and the Alliance for Texas History

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• Handmaid’s Tale
• Flow
• "Whole Again" by Atomic Kitten
• "Tell Him" by Celine Dion & Barbra Streisand
• The Offline Club
• Alliance for Texas History
• doesthedogdie.com
• Coop Cool+ pillow
• Athletic Brewing Upside Dawn
• The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy
• www.gaiacenter.co/groups

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Spirituality, religion, and being “woo-woo” are all hot topics these days – especially here in Nashville!

In this episode, Val and Emerson tackle WTF spirituality actually means, how it differs from religion, how it intertwines with existentialism, and low-stakes ways to engage with it while also avoiding spiritual bypassing.

And, as always, we get into other good stuff, including a spooky airBNB story from Val’s cousin (and The Gaia Center’s Director of Operations) Rebecca 👻

This episode covers:

• 06:04 - Tea & Crumpets: Val’s new cooking routine + Emerson’s obsession with Swig
• 10:32 - Step Into My Office: Impermanence and Existentialism
• 14:32 - The Lore: Rebecca’s Spooky AirBNB experience
• 19:54 - The DSM: The Spirituality, Religion + Woo Woo Conundrum
• 50:26 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 52:48 - Val Pick: "Goose Snow Cone" by Aimee Mann
• 53:50 - "Older" by Lizzy McAlpine
• 54:58 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How a music conductor is navigating Parkinson’s Disease + South Africa’s ‘soccer grannies’ take the field for kicks and camaraderie

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• Pew Research on Millennials and Religion
• John Welwood (spiritual bypassing)
• Goose Snow Cone by Aimee Mann
• Older by Lizzy McAlpine
• Conductor with Parkinson’s Gets Brain Stimulation Device to Stop Shakes so He Can Lead Orchestra Once Again
• South Africa’s ‘soccer grannies’ take the field for kicks and camaraderie

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

For many people, hearing “couples therapy” brings up the idea of a relationship being in crisis or on the brink of ending – and while couples therapy can be impactful in those cases, there is so much more to it and so many other circumstances where it can be beneficial. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson get into what couples therapy really is, when it’s helpful, when it’s not helpful, and suggestions for what to look for if you’re interested in couples therapy. 

This episode covers:

• 00:03:23 - Tea & Crumpets: Zumba at the YMCA + Harmen Hoek
• 00:06:53 - The Lore: How Couples Therapy Helped Val
• 00:14:46 - The DSM: What Couples Therapy Really Is
• 00:53:20 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 00:55:27 - Em Pick: "A Thousand Trees" by Stereophonics
• 00:57:13 - Val Pick: "In Keeping Secrets of Earth: 3" by Coheed & Cambria
• 00:58:31 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste + how a 90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animals

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• Harmen Hoek
• A Thousand Trees- by Stereophonics
• In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 - by Coheed and Cambria
• Waste not, want not? How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste
• 90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animals
• Gottman Method
• Emotion Focused Therapy
• Imago
• RLT
• PACT

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Despite misinformed pop culture statements, OCD isn’t a punchline—it’s a chronic brain loop that can be incredibly challenging for individuals to receive the care they need. In this episode, Val and Em get into the ins-and-outs of OCD, including suggestions for folks who are struggling with it, as well as folks who have a friend or loved one who is struggling. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff including TV recs and some hopeful headlines – like a rancher’s dog rescuing an infant 🥹

This episode covers:

• 04:40 - Tea & Crumpets: The Last of Us + Good American Family
• 08:07 - Step Into My Office: Is it just overthinking or is it OCD?
• 12:53 - The DSM: Why OCD Is NOT Just Being “So Organized”
• 36:37 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 40:50 - Val’s Pick: "Leave" by Glen Hansard (Live at Stubb's BBQ)
• 43:50 - Em’s Pick: "twilight zone" by Ariana Grande
• 45:56 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Hundreds of volunteers helping an indie bookseller move spaces + a rancher’s dog leading an infant to safety

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:

• Long durations from symptom onset to diagnosis and from diagnosis to treatment in obsessive-compulsive disorder: A retrospective self-report study
• Thriving in Relationships When You Have OCD book
• Hundreds of Volunteers Form a Human Chain to Get 9,000 Books to New Location for Indie Bookstore
• A true good boy: rancher’s dog leads two-year-old Arizona child to safety
• Glen Hansard "Leave" - Live at Stubb's BBQ
• "twilight zone" by Ariana Grande

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] 
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.