Solo Parent

"But I Don’t Want To Forgive"


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Forgiveness is a tough topic but an important one. Sometimes we feel entitled to hang on to unforgiveness and letting go seems like letting someone off the hook, but we are called to forgive and there are benefits. Releasing things and being proactive with forgiveness can help us move forward and heal.  

This week, single mom, Amber, shares some of her journey to forgive even when she didn’t want to. Like many divorced solo parents, Amber got married expecting it to last forever. But after 17 years, her marriage hit a crisis that ended in separation. She longed to see her marriage saved, and over the course of a three years, she waited, fasted, prayed, and sought wise counsel. She did everything possible, including many things driven by control and codependency, to avoid divorce. Ultimately, though, her ex was never fully on board to work on the relationship so, after 21 years, her marriage ended. From a place of painful devastation, Amber found herself on the difficult journey of needing to forgive.  

She shares it wasn’t infidelity that was the most difficult to forgive. One of the hardest things to forgive were the hurts and pains her children went through in the process of divorce. 

For former single dad, Robert, one of the hardest for him to forgive was the wasted time and effort he poured into his marriage wanting it to be restored only to find out his spouse wasn’t being honest and committed in return. That was difficult to let go of and forgive. 

Kimberley shares that, like Amber, the hurts she experienced were easier to forgive than the hurts done to her children. It has been hard to see them struggling and, as they have gotten older, to become resigned to the pain and losses they have faced. As parents, it’s difficult to see our kids hurting and often we are hurting too. Forgiveness doesn’t come easy under circumstances like these so how do we work toward forgiveness?

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